The definite, new "How Do You Feel" Thread

[Magrathean]

Just saving you from the horrors of the CoB board.

'Tis indeed almost horrible what i've seen over there (i haven't browsed the whole thing, though). Just check out http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214425

fireangel: I hope TheFourthHorseman, the thread over at COBHC and whatever other source you might have asked were useful.

 

[Schwedentod]

Feeling good although I have quite some work to do... But that's life.

 

[fireangel]

'Tis indeed almost horrible what i've seen over there (i haven't browsed the whole thing, though). Just check out http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214425

right. We over here at DT-forum have only purely objective, un-biased debates on serious topics I wait for you to come up with some genetic explanation on why COB-Boarders are different

fireangel: I hope TheFourthHorseman, the thread over at COBHC and whatever other source you might have asked were useful.

yeah, I got some results, also in COB-board, thank you

I found some other nice sentence over there in an off-topic-thread btw:

Women (...) always prefer the guys who look like girls, so they might as well go straight-homo!

 

[Siren]

NF: a bit bad and i don't know why. like something is not quite right, but i don't know what.

 

[Magrathean]

fireangel: Nah, i seriouosly like the DT boards better (and i think it has little to do with the fact that i like DT much better).

NF: Eh... the horizon is kind of hazy right now (metaphorically)...

 

[Schwedentod]

NF: Like Siren. There's something, but I don't know what. A shadow I can't catch, can't express. Some kind of depression without a reason. I'm kind of sad, just talked to a friend and couldn't explain it. Weird.

 

[Magrathean]

It's just "one of those days", isn't it?

 

[Schwedentod]

I hope and even think so... Just had a shower of 20 minutes (it's 21:15 now... ) and I feel much better. Looks like it wasn't even one of these days but only one of these moments.

 

[Siren]

It's not "just one of those days" for me. The day was actually good, but i'm a bit sad and worried. Maybe i should stop getting so emotional with patients.. :/

 

[Villain]

Maybe i should stop getting so emotional with patients..

I can recognize myself here. Not that I get overly emotional about the situations my clients are in, but after spending about two hours today to tell one young man that "if you keep on doing things like this, you won't live another year" and probably failing to get my point through, I do feel kind of hollow inside.

It is more like I'm afraid that if I don't get emotional then I will become colder, more cynical. I've seen some people like that in my profession, and I really don't want to become like them. "Keep your work as just that - work" is how we should approach all work-related situations, but if I never become emotional while working, how can I be sure that I'm not suffocating my emotions on my free time as well? Should I be overly emotional every weekend, "burning" away all the negative feelings inside me? It's funny that a large part of my studies touched this issue, yet I find myself far less sure about this as I did a year ago.

I will have a very long workday tomorrow (possibly 15+ hours, as I have to travel 245 kilometers and back in the afternoon alone, plus do plenty of things both before and after that), so I'll be going to bed now.

Good night.

-Villain

 

[marduk1507]

Well, thats an interesting point. Ive always thought about the difference between who we are in private and at work. Its funny how the rules and people around you slowly mould you into something you dont really wanna be, but you know you gotta be like that or youll lose your health. Its weird that we have to put aside a considerable amount of our "humanity" and become doctors, teachers or whatever for a couple of hours.

 

[Magrathean]

My philosophy is never to change who i am. I'd be the same person at work, at university, with friends and alone (or as much of the same as possible without getting into trouble, i.e. breaking rules at work or whatever).

 

[marduk1507]

Yeah, but sometimes its really hard and then the insistence upon your way becomes just pure selfishness.

 

[Schwedentod]

OK, actually it hasn't been just a moment, yesterday night I found the truth. It's about feelings that shouldn't be there, because they can't be there. Feelings that are impossible to handle, although they start to be a part of me.

I will have a conversation sometime today, hopefully it gets clearer after that. Right now I really can't concentrate on my work, and I have shitloads of it...

 

[marduk1507]

Feelings that shouldnt be there, because they cant be there - hey man, what a mess! I hope you figure it out somehow.

 

[Schwedentod]

If you remember that I'm in Sweden these days and combine that with the word feelings it's easy to figure out that I'm talking about a girl. Who is obviously not German (or Luxembourgish or Belgish). The feelings come from both sides, that's our problem. Didn't talk so far...

 

[Magrathean]

Ah, been there and it sucks. Unless you can afford a trip to Sweden every week, which i don't think you can (because i don't think you have the time, the patience or the money, or else you wouldn't be a member here).

 

[Villain]

My philosophy is never to change who i am. I'd be the same person at work, at university, with friends and alone (or as much of the same as possible without getting into trouble, i.e. breaking rules at work or whatever).

I think you are lying here, probably to yourself. I used to think somewhat like that some 10+ years ago - and one of the biggest "revelations" I've had about myself was when I realized I'm a very different person in every different environment. Or perhaps not a different person per se, but a completely different aspect of my personality, a different role. We all take new roles every day when we confront other people - some of our traits get to the forefront while the others sink back. And without realizing that, I don't believe we can control which traits each role will have.

I'm a different Villain on this forum from the Villain on some anime-related forums. I'm a different Ville at work from the Ville at home right now. I'm a different Ville with my friends from the Ville late at night alone in bed. And I'm a completely different person at a DT-show from the person who sits down and talks with people.

It is not how similar we can make these roles to each other, but how aware we are of their existence and how well we can cope with their differences, what makes us satisfied in ourselves as human beings. This is my firm belief.

-Villain, of the DT UM-forum

 

[fireangel]

I tOr perhaps not a different person per se, but a completely different aspect of my personality, a different role. We all take new roles every day when we confront other people - some of our traits get to the forefront while the others sink back. And without realizing that, I don't believe we can control which traits each role will have.

You just said what I was too lazy to write I completely agree. It´s not about hiding the own personality and living it only with friends.
But one could become totally vulnerable by being the true self with strangers or colleagues from work and study. Also maybe not everyone wants to know about the own thoughts and ideas.

It´s another thing to indeed play roles, like some sort of people who always agree to everything and you don´t know what would be their own opinion, for example, and you cannot even grasp their own personality. But that´s not the same as being a bit different in every environment which also allows you to live several different styles which may not be combined in one person at the same time, so that the changes even enrich your life perspectives.

 

[Schwedentod]

@UnDo: Not Sweden, it would actually be Finland... And you're right, I just can't afford it. But the feelings are still there although we're both not sure how strong they are and how it yould work (or not).

Have to think about this the next days...