The Dreams Thread

[Onder]

I have weird dreams lately. I remember the last three or so. They usually take place in my cottage in the hills. That place has some strange magic. So basically, we were partying there w/ some people I invited. There were two annoying retarded bitches w/ mutilated faces among them. Those ugly creatures had rotten teeth and asymetric retarded heads. They were having fun locking me in rooms, on the toilet etc, until I got really angry and started to shout at one of them. I said that I really had enough of her and that if she does it one more time, she'll sleep outside. I was really fucking angry at her.

People were looking at me as if they wanted to say that I shouldn't have been so harsh on those poor retarded girls, which made me even more frustrated. So I went to my room to tell my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex with her but she didn't want to because she was angry that I spent a lot of time downstairs. I said it wasn't my fault as that ugly fucking retarded bitch locked me on a toilet multiple times but my girl said I shouldn't talk about that poor girl like that. There was clearly no way out of that.

In the other dream I had a frog in my mouth and couldn't get it out.

 

[Vimana]

Imagine a centaurian form, except the human part is a clown with sharp teeth and claws, and the non-human part is the body of a spider. You're welcome.

 

[mutantllama]

Imagine if I pulled my dick apart, shoved my head down my dick hole and couldn't pull my head out.

You're welcome.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

That was fucking deep.

 

[mutantllama]

I think I'm going to use it for my next progressive acoustic indie dreamdrone project.

 

[The Butt]

Imagine if I pulled my dick apart, shoved my head down my dick hole and couldn't pull my head out.

You're welcome.

Fucking sigged.

I had a very vivid dream a couple nights ago, in which Ozzy Osbourne and Geezer Butler were in my bedroom with me, jamming. Geezer was rockin' the bass and teaching me some things on my acoustic guitar, and Ozzy was lying on my bed, quiet as a mouse and staring into space in a drug-induced stupor. We were waiting for Tony Iommi to show up but I woke up before he managed to show. What an asshole. I have no clue where Bill was: it's odd because he's one of my favorite members of the band, but the mind works in mysterious ways I guess.

 

[mutantllama]

God damnit I hate it when I'm half asleep, I start dreaming and think something is happening in real time while I'm laying in bed when in reality I'm really just dreaming. I thought someone was coming inside the house(everyone should be gone at this time), and then I thought I heard someone knocking at my apartment door and suddenly I woke up. Now I'm just tired as fuck.

 

[Der Morgenstern]

I watched Inception this morning and just wanted to know who the fuck dreams like that? What a stupid film.

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM. ADD IN LIMBO AS THE FOURTH LAYER.

NOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I SLEEP WHILE IN LIMBO. A DREAM WITHIN LIMBO WITHIN A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM.


This should really haven gone into the movie thread.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Omg i just remembered this really weird dream i had last night. I was with a small pig, and petting it and shit. Eventually i started talking to it and learned that it could understand me and say a one or two syllable word if i asked it to. Then over time the pig's face started to look more and more like that of a pretty girl. I was stroking its lips and neck and shit and getting kinda turned on, and i think the pig/girl wanted me too. Wtf is wrong with me?

 

[Srontgorrth]

Omg i just remembered this really weird dream i had last night. I was with a small pig, and petting it and shit. Eventually i started talking to it and learned that it could understand me and say a one or two syllable word if i asked it to. Then over time the pig's face started to look more and more like that of a pretty girl. I was stroking its lips and neck and shit and getting kinda turned on, and i think the pig/girl wanted me too. Wtf is wrong with me?

LOL

 

[Vimana]

I had a dream last night that I lived in a sort of temperate savannah area outside of a big wall. There was this white boy my mom adopted named Luke living near me who I rarely saw. He was really weird, and I thought he was taking my money, so eventually I was going to kick his ass, but then decided to call the cops instead. A cop showed up, and didn't do shit. Luke started texting me weird riddles that made no sense, but eventually I met up with him and we smoked some weed. I looked up at the sky to a bunch of clouds and starlight and said "doesn't that look like a UFO?" It turned into one and flew away. It was trippy. So then I learned the origin of Luke's adoption. He was a foster kid or orphan or something, and I learned that he was extremely benevolent and wouldn't hurt a fly. I felt horrible and wished I could be like him because I have been such a bad person.

Also at one point this online friend of mine showed up and I told her not to marry her boyfriend because it's a huge fucking mistake since she has very little dating experience and he sounds like a douchebag anyway.

 

[mutantllama]

I had a dream last night where I was riding my bike through a mall where I used to live, and suddenly Pentagram's lazy lady came on, and I could hear various metalheads singing across the whole mall. It was pretty cool.


Before that I had another dream where I ended up pissing off a bunch of kids who were laying down on a moonwalk in my grandmas living room because I opened up the shades to let some light in. I then put on some Burzum and I guess it pissed them off some more. I then saw one of the kids drive by with his dad, and we got into an awesome gun fight.

 

[Astrum]

i had a dream in full on anime last night. weird.

 

[Tonka Time]

Imagine me in a dicknigger form, where the dick part is a my pals with sharp teeth and claws, and the non-dick part is a larger my pals that has the dicknigger fused to it like a tumor.

You're welcome.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I had a dream that I made chocolate toast by sticking a slice of bread in every slot of the dishwasher and filling the soap compartment with cocoa powder. When it didn't work, my mom walked in and said "Aww, thanks for the effort but that just made a mess. I'll clean it for you." and even though I insisted that I should clean it she wouldn't let me. Then I walked into the bathroom to cry and saw my reflection in the mirror, and my acne had morphed into giant orange pustules which were rapidly emerging and leaving my skin as little floating bubbles. As if it couldn't get any more horrific, suddenly a golf ball sized chunk of rotting flesh fell off of the back of my right jaw and dangled inches down by a small tendon. Following this there was some part about going to a petroleum plant driven by my dad that I can't clearly recall, but it ended up bringing me to my mom's house when she was a child. Her house was now on a busy intersection across from a gas station and I had to jaywalk to get to it, resulting in me almost dying a horrible vehicular death. Instead I made it, and inside she was playing or something, and my paternal grandmother was there baking cookies. I crawled into the pantry to steal some candy but she opened the door and caught me. Initially she thought it was funny, saying something along the lines of "Oh, you little rascal you, playing hide and seek!" but I confessed my crime. Instead of punishing me, however, she started beating my adolescent mother instead. Then I woke up.

 

[Vimana]

Epic necromancy.

I had this dream last night that shows that me getting another job that is time-consuming is the best thing ever. It's awesome because I spent way too much time online before.

So in this dream, I'm in a pizza place (I work on in one now) and I was in the back, in the kitchen, and it was shaped differently. It was rectangular, and there were counters at each wall, each one with fully-cooked pizzas on it. There are a bunch of people there, and everyone seems to get one for themselves, so I start eating one that I think is mine, and then after three or four slices, I realized it wasn't somehow. I turn around, and it's Good Guy Greg and it turns out it was his pizza, but he gives me a look like I shouldn't worry about it, so I left and found my pizza. I ate about three slices in thirty seconds, and I notice Giorgio Tsoukalos next to me. He asks "how can you eat so much pizza?" I turn, make the same facial expression and hand gesture he's known for, and say "munchies."

Forever alone level: Having dreams with internet memes in them.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I had two really weird dreams last night. In the first one I went to some music show that was being televised live and was partially a competition that featured modern mainstream pop artists. Iron Maiden won, unexpectedly despite not being seen as contenders through some kind of poll (so probably involving the internet and forum /board raids etc) anyway, when Iron Maiden got on the stage to give the acceptance speech, the brunette white girl presenting the show, Davina Mccall or someone like her, asked Bruce if they won because they were white. Then I heard some white supercool DJ type person who was also performing whining about how ridiculous that was. Bruce just looked a bit embarrassed and said no I don't think it was because of that. Then Iron Maiden played and were pretty awesome. After the show, I caught up with Bruce walking down the street. He was with some young pretty girl who I think was a relative of his. She was like, ew fans and he was talking to me for the sake of politeness, I remember what I was saying being a little dumb.

Then, in the next dream, which was disgusting, I was with my dad, going around some shit industrial estate looking for some dude who was my "real dad". The guy was really old and had weird hands that were malformed and stuck together at the fingers and the flesh had a cheese like consistency. I touched them and my own hands became similiar, I had to destroy the binding part between the fingers in order to restore the use of one of them. Fucking gross.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Haha that is some crazy shit.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

Had this one Tuesday night:

I came too in a room which looked like a familer living room yet it wasn't familer at the same time. Along with me were this girl who used to work at a local gas station and this guy who recently did some carpentry on a job with me. He was trying to convince gas station girl to fuck him for $200 on a brown couch, but he wouldn't come right out and say it, he was speaking metaphorically. Anyway she began looking quite perplexed/disgusted while I just basically sat there on green arm chair. All of a suddon I was in a daze, very disoriented walking by my mailbox and made it into my house, where my dog ran to greet me. It was unsually bright in the house, and I noticed a big cooked ham on the foor lying in a puddle of piss. There was also another ham cooking in the oven. The phone rang and it was someone asking how the ham was coming along. Then I woke up and realized I had oversleped for about 7 minutes.

Wednesday:

I'm driving, after just entering the main stretch of town I pull into the first gas station, although all the pumps have been moved around. The lady behind the counter comes out and starts bitching about the special way you have to pay to use the one pump I pulled up to. You can only use coins and they have to be inserted in a special way. I get tired of listening to her and drive over a curb to another gas station, over another curb into the parking lot of a department store, where a large group of people are gathering around an African American male in his late 20's lying on the ground, presumed dead. He suddenly gets up and tells everybody to tell the people you truly love just how much you love them. The two people next to me, a slightly overweight male with a beard and in a tie dye shirt and a female become overly affectionate and try to get me to participate in a group hug. I now find myself in the upstairs bathroom of my old school, middle stall. The person in the stall to my right starts gloating about how he found a bar of soap in a crack in the wall. I too notice a small blue bar of soap in the wall of my stall. The person in the stall to my left starts talking to nobody in particular about how he legitimately enjoys listening to androgynous 80's dance pop bands. I have to piss really bad and my bladder burns but I just can't go, and there’s a line of impatient people waiting outside my stall. I eventually give up and leave the stall. Two of the people waiting outside were the same from the parking lot who were trying to get me involved in the group hug, except the girl is now wearing a yellow and black spandex jump suit and a red bandana. I exit the bathroom into what appears to be my local bowling alley renovated in post-apocalyptic cyberpunk fashion, sit down at a desk In front of a lane and turn towards my left. That’s about it.

 

[monoxide_child]

my dreams are all sex dreams