The Dreams Thread

[Umodian]

So I had this dream the other night, I was going to an exam, but the "subject" was about Megadeth and we'd meet the members. (Yeah I have no idea!)
But then when I got there, instead it was King Diamond, and he asked me what my favorite KD album was. (We were also speaking in English for no apparant reason)
I was stoked out of my mind to see him, and just quickly said Abigail, and in a total Monty Python-style way I went "No, I mean... Conspiracy!" and then I failed and woke up.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

The first part is murky, but I remember walking around the science building at school, with an illegally modified access card to get into places I usually couldn’t. At some point there’s some kind of presentation and there are professors and others all over the place, and I just try to blend in. At some point I notice a cute couple (thankfully one invented in the dream) studying in a breakroom, and the girl then leaves for the restroom. I was about to stalk her there, but then when I realized there were too many people around, I decided to watch the guy in his lonesome instead. As I’m peering around the door, suddenly more people come by and I have to quickly sneak into a door I had never entered before, which takes me to a time machine. The details are fuzzy, but…

At some point I found myself in a jacuzzi with two redneck ex-slavers, a highly educated black man, and freed slave blackface stereotype. The rednecks were clearly already very uncomfortable with the prospect, and to make matters worse for them, the highly educated guy wouldn’t stop spouting off about all sorts of stuff which I wish I remember because it sounded really intelligent. At some point one the rednecks says to the other “Hey, I’ve been thinking about buying a new dog, know any place I can get one?” and the other says “Shit son, it’s illegal to own dogs now”, glaring at the smart black guy, and the ex-slave laughs in an exaggerated “Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!” manner. This fills the educated guy with a massive rage and he suddenly becomes pumped and kills the two rednecks immediately and then tears off some wooden boarding near the jacuzzi and impales one of the ex-slave’s hands with it. The smart one now apparently kills himself and the ex-slave runs off hiding.

As I leave the jacuzzi I find a brother of mine and we search on a Garmin for the best possible doctor nearby to help the ex-slave since we has basically innocent, and discover a Chinese herbalist mystic within a mile. My brother and I take off running through my 1880’s-style neighborhood and as we progress it suddenly resembles a cyberpunk game more and more, with electric lighting and thick smog and eerie buildings around canals. Anyways, once we get there we found ourselves in a really run-down and seedy bar, and there’s this giant grilling station with several Chinamen behind it. I ask this old lady for a remedy so that we prevent any infection and death of the ex-slave, and then she places two sets of coins out in front of us, one of modern ordinary pennies and the other of large bluish coins which said “1895, Pd-Pt” and had bridges and smiling Chinese children on them, offering set to us. I figured WE’D be the ones paying so I was confused, but picked the legit-looking Chinese ones, but my brother insisted on pennies. The mystic then took the pennies, lathered them in herbs and sauces, and then threw them on the grill. She then says “These for slave, not for you. Have slave work for you and pay one penny at beginning of each day. He will have healing penny firmly pressed against wound whole day. Over time, will cure. If give all at once, he will spend on cocaine. Goodbye,” and then she disappears.

I walk towards the exit of the bar with my magic pennies when suddenly everything turns SNES Shadowrun isometric style, and there’s this giant NES in one corner of the bar. I am now Ness, and there’s a dude with a blonde mullet and sunglasses guarding the NES. He asks me if I want to play a game, and I say “Sure”. This cartridge slot opens up and I hop inside, when suddenly I’m transported through this long psychedelic 2001: A Space Odyssey sequence, and them BAM, first-person mode again and I’m back in the canals. Now it looks just like a mix of Deus Ex 1 & 3, and I am going from shop to shop stealing loot. I find a locked music store with a giant “Somewhere in Time, remastered like you’ve never heard before!” sign and wonder if it will improve my enjoyment of the album. Then I wake up.

 

[AllShallFall]

I had a dream that fucking Papa Emeritus was singing Happy Birthday to Barack Obama at Angels Stadium. lol it was fucking weird

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

I've been invited to a book release event in New York City by a girl I used to go to school with. When I arrive I'm the only one there and I'm taken to an empty room where the girl enters with who I assume is her assistant, except it's not the girl I went to school with. I mean it is, but I must have been dreaming in cinema because it's Juno Temple, the actress. She gives me a nice to see you hug and suddenly the crowd piles in. Juno, err, my old acquaintance tells the crowd that back in school I wanted to bang her really bad and I deleted her off my Facebook friends list after *queue flashback* we were talking in the halls one day and this Hindu girl with a British accent wearing a red apron and pushing a shopping cart walked past us and sarcastically remarked "Little girl". The thing is I don't even have a Facebook and it didn't even exist when I went to school. Confusion.

 

[The Butt]

All I remember from my last nap is Donald Trump trying to put me in a cage, and me telling him I'd sue the shit out of him.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

I’m in the last remaining video store in town searing for horror VHS tapes. The selection is impeccable. For some reason the lady behind the counter is the lady who works at the liquor store I normally go to, who I’ve got a bit of a thing for. After searching for what seems like an eternity I find the tape I’m looking for and take it to liquor store lady. She looks sad. As I leave the video store to go to my truck I look back and the exterior of the video store is no more, instead it’s been replaced with a larger, skyscraper like building and the weather has turned very gloomy, yet when I turn back towards the direction my truck is in, the parking lot is the same as it’s always been, and it’s sunny. As I get in my truck however, it becomes overcast almost instantly, and I turn and look at the store again and sure enough the exterior has changed again back to the skyscraper like building. It’s now raining, which quickly turns to sleet.

As I start to leave the parking lot I suddenly find myself behind a large truck, hauling what appears to be part of a church building. The sleet has made things very slippery and my breaks are going down to the floor. I realize I’m about to slide into the large truck, and whatever the truck is hauling is going to slide off and hit me at the same time. As my truck and body simultaneously bend in half I’m thinking “well this is it” except almost instantly after I black out I come too in a dark room. It looks to be an empty comedy club or something, almost pitch black but I can make out a lot of tables plus a stage and a microphone. I see a light in the back and walk towards it, it’s a door. I walk though it and on the other side is the pool room of a local pub. I look at the clock and see it’s 3 in the afternoon. I leave the pub and find my truck, perfectly fine in the parking lot.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

That is a beautiful little mindfuck of a dream right there.

 

[monoxide_child]

i had a really vivid dream about a "hottub-resturaunt"

where you pay for your food upfront, then go into a backroom full of hottubs and waitstaff serves you your food while you're sitting in a hottub

 

[SWAT]

I’m in the last remaining video store in town searing for horror VHS tapes. The selection is impeccable. For some reason the lady behind the counter is the lady who works at the liquor store I normally go to, who I’ve got a bit of a thing for. After searching for what seems like an eternity I find the tape I’m looking for and take it to liquor store lady. She looks sad. As I leave the video store to go to my truck I look back and the exterior of the video store is no more, instead it’s been replaced with a larger, skyscraper like building and the weather has turned very gloomy, yet when I turn back towards the direction my truck is in, the parking lot is the same as it’s always been, and it’s sunny. As I get in my truck however, it becomes overcast almost instantly, and I turn and look at the store again and sure enough the exterior has changed again back to the skyscraper like building. It’s now raining, which quickly turns to sleet.

As I start to leave the parking lot I suddenly find myself behind a large truck, hauling what appears to be part of a church building. The sleet has made things very slippery and my breaks are going down to the floor. I realize I’m about to slide into the large truck, and whatever the truck is hauling is going to slide off and hit me at the same time. As my truck and body simultaneously bend in half I’m thinking “well this is it” except almost instantly after I black out I come too in a dark room. It looks to be an empty comedy club or something, almost pitch black but I can make out a lot of tables plus a stage and a microphone. I see a light in the back and walk towards it, it’s a door. I walk though it and on the other side is the pool room of a local pub. I look at the clock and see it’s 3 in the afternoon. I leave the pub and find my truck, perfectly fine in the parking lot.

I can't tell you how may dreams I've had where I say to myself "well this is it". Usually about a Nuke, Tidal Wave, or for some odd reason Dinosaurs.

That or just the shock and horror of seeing people fall off buildings or being shot and killed.

I must watch to many movies/read to many yahoo articles.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

I pull into the small dirt “driveway” of the place my junkie aunt used to live in as it‘s been sold and for some reason the current owner has asked me to check up on it. The majority of it has been mainly gutted but one room remains in tact with personal possessions still inside. As I check the room I hear a car pull in outside and two people enter. I hear a voice outside the room say “Hot tamale” and instantly realize it’s my junkie cousin and her junkie boyfriend who are unaware the place has been sold. I explain the situation to them and they are surprisingly understanding. I was expecting confrontation.

I leave and in the “driveway” are two assholes I went to high school with, J1 and J2, who are intensely discussing something secretive and assume I‘m in on it. All of a sudden two cop cars pull in and I overhear one say before he’s even parked “ready to be drug tested?” The 2 cops set up makeshift drug testing stations right in the “driveway” which look like booths at a high school science fair. As one cop tells me to piss in the cup I look over the curtain of the station I’m at and see the two high school assholes, although now we’re in the record store that closed 5 years ago. Luanne Platter from King of the Hill in human form walks in wearing an Alice Copper shirt, which I compliment her on.

As I turn to leave to my left I see a somewhat fancy bar with 2 obviously underage punk rock kids drinking beer and two my right a see a mini multimedia store of sorts with CD and DVD racks. I browse for a moment when a fat saleswoman with a lupus rash on her face asks if I need help finding anything. “Mario Bava DVD’s” I say. She says they have none. I leave and she follows me to a massive room with equally massive windows with mall storefronts on the outside. There are 4 chairs placed in the middle of the room. We both sit while I rattle off some Bava film titles after she asks who he is. A grey haired man walks by and we shake hands. The saleswoman who followed me says “Abu Dhabi” and the grey haired man asks “What about Abu Dhabi? I want to know about Abu Dhabi”.

Before all that I dreamt I was fucking the lady who cleans one of the places I look after in real life.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

I’m in the kitchen of a hotel with my cousin who I sometimes go to concerts with. We’re both wearing black t-shirts and camouflage pants. I assume we’re robbing the place as we’re both holding machine guns and there are chefs and others running around in a panic. For some reason everything, including the people look animated like a PlayStation game from the mid 90’s. A SWAT team enters and we escape through a large metal door into a red Ferrari and nothing looks like a video game anymore. I recognize the route we’re traveling. I take it almost on the daily to work except all the buildings on the left site have been replaced with mountains. We pull into my driveway and I’m told to keep my machine gun. I enter my house and retire for the night.

When I come too I’m lying on the floor in a storage room of sorts and lying next to me is a girl that used to go the same school as me. We’re surrounded by green plastic crates filled with pro wresting action figures. I kiss her and she says nothing, just gives and understanding smile. I kiss her again and when I touch her lips I find myself in what looks to be the children’s wing of a hospital circa early 1970’s. My cot has an orange pillow. The room I’m in is built like a hotel room, with an adjoining room. The door to the next room is open and I see my aunt with an open suitcase packing it like she’s about return from a vacation.

I enter the room and am now entering the hallway of a house I look after twice a week. The carpeting has been changed from brown to red. It’s full of people in fancy dress drinking champagne. Must be a banquet. I seem to be the only one in the house with the ability to float. I float up the stairs into the master bedroom where there are even more people and into the master bathroom. Downstairs I see 3 girls that I haven’t seen in ages. 2 of the girls say to the other “You’re not nearly as ugly as you were 6 years ago”. She thanks them. I walk towards them and lock eyes with the one who just received that backhanded compliment. Without saying a word we join hands and both float up the stairs and being fucking in mid air above the red carpeted staircase amongst all the houseguests.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I walked downstairs to find my mom and one of my siblings watching The Apprentice, and awkwardly after a moment this fat red-headed secretary type started giving a blowjob to some typical suit, and he has this amazingly flexible cock that pulses like a sin wave in her mouth. Suddenly Donald Trump has charged me with stopping the public indecency, so I must successfully find them a room. I escort them out of their taxi and lead them through the streets of Manhattan, and try to put them into the first door I can find. There is a futuristic white door which I somehow know to be a space elevator, but when it opens it turns out to be a bottomless pit, and I just barely save the lovers from their impending death.

Then I try another door and it works, and suddenly there is confetti and parade floats and Mayor Bloomberg comes down to shake my hand and everything. My dad drives by in a classic Sting Ray Corvette, tips his sunglasses, and tells me how proud he is. Then one of my brothers that I don't even get along with comes riding in on my 2nd grade bike, but he added axle extenders so that I could stand on top of them and ride him. I spray near-empty bags of Lays' crumbs like wedding rice as he takes me down an old beautiful street of San Diego I used to ride down myself all the time. As this happens, the 90's Porky Pig Show theme song begins to play clearly, and I think to myself "Holy crap I have the best capacity for childhood memories ever. I barely even remember watching this cartoon yet the song comes in so clearly. Just listen to how intricate my dream has recreated this classic theme." Some less interesting stuff happens later (including me in public wearing dried-cum infested pajamas) and by the time I wake up I realize that not only did Porky Pig not have his own 90's cartoon series like Taz and others, but that all I could remember of the song at all was that the backing track may have been lifted directly from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air's theme.

 

[monoxide_child]

in my dream

Batman killed the rest of the Justice League

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I just had a dream that Chelsea Clinton financed Satan to play a show in front of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, and there were thousands of people swimming around with little arm floaties and glow-in-the-dark sticks and fireworks and stuff. Everyone really enjoyed the show at first, but Chelsea would have these annoying pep talks and monologues between each song, and the last two songs she dedicated to LGBT awareness and Keebler chocolate chip cookies respectively (which she mentioned were "wee Bruce Dickinson Jr's favorite") at which point people began to groan. I then woke up with morning wood.

 

[Ariela_Brazil]

I have this reoccurring dream... it's always me, a guy with a weapon, some famous musician. and we are trapped by two enemy armies... and in the end, me and the guy with the weapon, we decimate both armies, and the musician shows up in the end drunk and safe!

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

A hot summer morning in New York City circa 1990. Its Saturday. Homer Simpson is kneeling on the sidewalk outside a convince store wearing a black hoodie. Hope Sandoval from the band Mazzy Star walks by and goes into the store and goes behind the counter. “I thought you worked a good job during the day?” Homer asks Hope. “Yeah right” Hope replies sarcastically, somewhat aggravated. Homer browses through the aisles and says “I’ll be back for dinner”.

Fast forward a few hours and we’re no longer in the convince store but outside a gas station. A young black girl who looks as if she’s going to church wearing a pink cotton dress with floral prints all over it along with a pink hat picks me and Hope up in a gold station wagon parked on the side of the road. Both begin talking about something going down and how its going to be good and they can’t wait for it to happen. It must be happening later that night. As we make our way up the hill we pass a bagel shop and 16 foot guards on horseback who surround the station wagon momentarily, 8 on each side.

We make it to a blue house. As we’re walking into the living room Hope is still going on about that thing that is supposedly going down and how she can't wait for it. She’s really excited. "I know", the girl in the pink cotton dress replies. We watch a wedding video.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I just had this dream that I was a properly socially-adjusted freshman undergrad and studying in the school library with a large group of friends, and one of them was no wainds. I went over to his side on the far end of the table, and discovered he had a full erection under the table. It looked exactly like my erections and I made a positive comment on it, and he was like "nah m8 don't take it that way im just airing it a bit" (a speech bubble actually appeared around him with text). Then I went to a different part of the library only to run into him again, but this time he was standing in front of a 100 foot stack of Minecraft bookcase bricks. I interacted with them and they apparently all contained the chorus of Pixies' Velouria translated into many different languages, the only one I remember reading clearly in Finnish (all the vowels and umlauts everywhere), like random gibberish with "velouria" randomly interjected, together with some unrelated bloggy introspective comment from him.

Then the alarm went off. Woke up rock hard.

 

[The Butt]

what

 

[The Ozzman]

You are weird m8

 

[EspaDa]

He obviously is, what normal person masturbates 5+ times a day.

I had a bad dream last nite. I dropped my phone and it broke into multitude of little pieces. It was real as hell though it sounds as a really corny dream.