The Dreams Thread

[PrincessHades]

I had two interesting dreams last night. The first involved me reaching down my throat and pulling out shit.

The second involved me being lost inside the COD zombies map I just downloaded.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

Fell asleep in the middle of the day thinking about a girl I like and for some reason I get the worst dream I've had in a long time.

I had been in the woods all day. I can't remember what it was but my mom (for context, I live with my mom atm) had asked me to go to the woods on an errand (???) and I decided to just stay there all day because the woods are nice. It's summer in this dream. So I come back, it's late in the day and I'm stressed out because I have so much work to do and I spent all day in the woods because my mom asked me to go on some stupid errand. Briefly I remember being in an altogether different location and having a fight with a sami who insulted my ethnicity. So I'm in my kitchen again, and it's full of furniture... There's this huge wardrobe and a bed leaning against it. I get something from the wardrobe and a bunch of stuff spills out from it, I think another wardrobe spills out of the wardrobe!

Anyway, suddenly all this stuff is gone. My sister's dog is here, she's this tiny, adorable, super energetic lapdog, and she's pulling at a long thread that's caught in a door... it's a thread like 4-5 meters long. So I take it from her and look at it... it's like 20-30 strands of my own hair. So I run to the mirror in the hallway to see if I've started balding, and I pull back my own hair to see, and not only is there a huge bare patch next to my temples, but where there used to be hair there are these ugly, red boils, a whole bunch of them all clustered together. Then I look at the mirror again and my whole face is fucked up. It's all inflamed and blotchy and full of those same weird boils. I might have open wounds in places. I look at the mirror a third time and now I see my eyes are bloodshot, both of them. I've never looked this terrible in my life. I look like a fucking car accident. So at this exact time, I need to get something from the local grocery store. I think to myself that maybe I should just stay inside since I look so bad but then I think "actually, I'll go and I'll terrify the cashier, it'll be fun"

So I leave the house and I head for my bike and this is where things get weird. There's a part where the sunlight abruptly stops. I mean, stops in space. I remember seeing my bike out there on the lawn bathing in sunlight, and right next to it TOTAL DARKNESS with no obstruction between the two to cast a shadow. Being a video gamer, I naturally think this looks like a lighting error. So this is the part where I think something something is seriously wrong... that the world just broke, or that I'm having a stroke or something. I give up on going to the grocery store and head back inside. When I get to the door, the entire world outside goes black and only the door remains. I try to open the door but I can't. I scream for help, for my mom, for anyone. Somehow I get the door open but inside there's only more blackness. Then the door is gone too and it's just me. I tell myself this is surely a dream, but I don't know for sure, and I get this terrible claustrophobic feeling that I'm trapped somewhere no-one will ever hear me. And I remember screaming, clutching my stomach, trying my hardest to wake up... I did, after what felt like 30 seconds of utter panic.

 

[no country for old wainds]

for some reason I get the worst dream I've had in a long time.

because women are a black hole of doom

 

[PrincessHades]

I had some sleep paralysis or something last night. I went to sleep and half-woke up about 15 minutes later to see the mess of wires hanging out of a broken lightswitch in front of my couch morphing into snakes and attacking me.

I get these a lot, like once a week. Mostly its stuff turning into snakes. Normally I can back out lf it whenever I want, but this time it took a few seconds for it to register that I was awake.

A while ago I talked to one of my friends about this and he said he got it too-any of you ever get these waking dreams?

 

[Bloopy]

Closest I've had to sleep paralysis happened when I was awake in the evening and sitting at my PC listening to music in 2009. I began recalling what I'd dreamed about that morning and it put me in a trance. I think I could still move, just barely. Shortly after, all of the memories of that morning's dreams flooded back, and I snapped out of it and felt nauseated. Perhaps I was way less concerned about being temporarily rendered a drooling vegetable than I should've been, but the dream aspect did make it seem like just a sleep thing.

 

[Krow]

I very rarely ever remember a dream but I have some snippets of a strange one over the weekend. I’m pretty sure I was intoxicated and I don’t know if that affects dreams.

Sitting at a bar with a friend from high school I haven’t been in contact with for years.

She tells me she loves me and hugs me. We leave and get in my car.

I see two birds high in the air, stuck in place, not moving. I think they were pheasants. I pull out a shotgun and shoot them while driving. In my rush to turn around I smash a bunch of mailboxes and a stroller.

When I get back to where the birds dropped, they’re fish. When I turn to my friend to comment on how weird that was, she starts rotting and quickly becomes a pile of black sludge in the passenger seat. A mouth forms on the black sludge.

“FUCK ME BIG BOY”

And I’m jarred awake by that weird crashing into bed feeling.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

I went out on the town with a girl I like and I ran into Slavoj Zizek. He challenged me to a dance-off, then began doing a few pirouettes in front of me. Then it was my turn. I don't know how to dance, so I panicked and woke up.

 

[Draehl]

I've been having more vivid dreams since I've started eating more omega-3 heavy fish- Tinned mackerel fillets are especially tasty, but I digress:

Had a weird one 2 nights ago where someone broke into my house through the attic, which is fucking bizarre since I live in a fairly tall house with zero roof access. All they stole was my computer which is in the room with attic stairs and the christmas decorations in the attic... WTF? When investigating further, apparently they got in through some door in the attic we didn't know about, leading to a small deck on the back side of the roof that had a tiny charcoal grill on it. Somehow we later found out a homeless dude had been living up there cooking on our grill we didn't know about and after he left he tipped the burglars off to the location of the deck and secret door...

 

[Carpe Mortem]

Had a dream my partner and I were camping and naked half-goat half-humans with blood dripping from every orifice kept trying to kill us because we were in 'their' woods. But it wasn't even scary, they were just really annoying, and for some reason we weren't trying to kill them back, just kinda avoiding them. Go around a tree and there's a screaming goat person with an axe, we'd just sigh heavily and run away from it. Fishing in a river and a trio of naked goat persons burst out of the water with spears, quickly gather our rods and move further down the river rolling our eyes at eachother. Try to make it back to camp at night and naked lady goats with glowing red eyes keep hopping out from behind trees and shit trying to claw us up, but their depth perception was garbage so we just serpentined and sidestepped them.

Think it's been too long since we had a solid Diablo session, that's what my brain is telling me.

 

[Nate Skalman]

I’m always a kid, or a teenager again in my dreams...never an adult- weird...

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I had a dream that I was on a family trip to the grandparents' but the flight was cancelled causing us to be stuck in some random city. They didn't have any free rooms to stay at but negotiated a deal where we would sleep in the hotel lobby instead. It had this kind of hippie 70s feel with wood paneling on all the walls and Tiffany glass lamps all over the place. It was empty when we got there, but gradually it filled up with other people, many of them looking like hobos. I got bored and noticed that under the lobby television, which was playing some kind of golf tournament, were a few crates labeled as children's activities, filled with Lincoln Logs and various books. I discovered that a few of the books were hard-cover Haruhi Suzumiya pin-up books, and specifically remember that when I first opened one of them, I saw what appeared to be perfectly form-fitting latex around her anus, only to unfold the book and realize it was actually her belly-button and that she was wearing a modest one-piece bathing suit. States of undress gradually increased from there, however.

I tried inconspicuously perusing the smut but was afraid of being caught and humiliated, so I put them back. I then realized that one of the hobos was actually Master_Yoda77 with greying hair, who had a MIDI sampler in his lap. He was trying to fully reconstruct Child in Time from just snippets of audio and after a few minutes of everyone gathered around him, he managed to nail it. He then uploaded a video of the performance to PornHub alongside a testimonial of how he just wants a girl that appreciated his love of Deep Purple. It got millions of views and women all over the world creating video replies, many of which were fat grandmothers clad in sweatpants. However, there was a cute goth chick that looked like Liz Vicious who also replied, and PornHub created a 1hr documentary with full narration about how they met and how much they loved each other, all the while subtly shilling their new role as a dating site. Then the goth chick appeared in the hotel lobby in a wedding dress and I was now Yoda. She began a couplet "Roses are red / blowjobs are great" but I can't remember if she finished it and I forgot or if it just didn't happen. She then asked me/Yoda if I was into girls swallowing to which I gave some really pussy "I-if you're OK with it" answer. She then pulled my (Yoda's) giant hairy dong out of my pants, and my alarm went off.

I woke up with an erection but let it fade peacefully as to not disgrace the beauty of the moment.

 

[Bloopy]

I dreamt I was watching an Aussie Supercars race set mostly in the countryside, but with part of the track going through high-rise rooftops (Road Redemption influence). Jamie Whincup is leading by most of a lap and comes careening sideways into the rooftop pits in a hot rod, somehow giving it a blast to spin back neatly and stop for his pit crew to service it. He departs riding a motorbike instead and fails to make the jump to the next rooftop, tumbling away just like in RR. But he's allowed to finish the race in a small helicopter and wins easily. For the post-race TV interviews a couple of drivers sit at a table eating plates of leafy greens. Then I go into a building with a facade seemingly inspired by a boiler, climb several stairs, and stumble onto an indoor soccer game that Argentina had just played (FIFA World Cup influence). Two of the Supercars drivers turn up to collect random shit. I go back outside and it's night time, with teenagers standing on the road at a T-junction as if they're hawking drugs (The Wire influence). I turn the corner and keep walking. One property has a few books out front for anyone to read, but one's been ripped up.

The next bit I don't remember that well, but I'm sitting among school desks on an indoor sports court and trying to remind a female friend of a hodgepodge poem I'd supposedly gifted her. I think I'd posted it on my website once so I try to look it up on the Wayback Machine. That's about when the dream went full Big Lez Show. I'm Lez and I'm with one other skits cunt and possibly a Quinton-type dweeb we're protecting. We're using a wrecked car with no roof as shelter, still on the indoor court. A zombified-on-drugs Norton-looking fucko comes up to it, and I dunno why he's such a threat, but maybe he's about to go choomah on our arse. I've got an arsenal of weapons from Donny laid out next to me, so I pick up a bolt-action rifle and try to use that on him, but can't get it to work. Next I pick up a thing which has a yellow spice powder on it and try to blow that in the fucko's direction. It mostly just makes a mess, but he retreats out the door into the lobby. Finally I grab some sort of six shooter/Glock hybrid pistol, lie in wait on the back seat, and when he comes back I aim it and fuckin' BANG. I flinch and when I open my eyes again the dickhead's still standing there drooling. I'm thinking oh shit, did I miss, and I check to confirm I've actually fired a round. I look more closely and see a small bleeding hole in his forehead, but I'm worried maybe from that low angle I just grazed his frontal lobe which didn't seem to be operational anyway. But then I reach out and give him a push and he's left in a crumpled heap on the court, while I try to remember how that poem went.

 

[PrincessHades]

I keep having recurring dreams about Juuling.

 

[arg]

I almost never recall my dreams but last night I dreamed I was in France and I had no pants, just tighty whities and the small bulge of my flaccid sausage and I had to call an uber.

I look at the app on my phone and see the car coming, it takes a stupid inefficient route but it arrives and the driver is a French guy, he says allo, hi in a french accent. Wanting to show off my french I say salut, çava? Tres bien tres bien, he says and notices I have no pants, questce qui s’est passé? (What happened?)

Jai perdue mes pantalons mec, quand je me suis reveillé ils sont disparue! (I lost my pants dude, when I woke up they disappeared!)

Ah vraiment? He starts looking at my junk lustfully. I feel uncomfortable and try to cross my legs. He flashes a wry smile and moves his eyebrows up and down. He is not bad looking. My small bulge starts becoming an erection and I wake up

 

[Vegard Pompey]

arg's subconsciousness is starting to realize that guys have buttholes, too.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I almost never recall my dreams but last night I dreamed I was in France and I had no pants, just tighty whities and the small bulge of my flaccid sausage and I had to call an uber.

I look at the app on my phone and see the car coming, it takes a stupid inefficient route but it arrives and the driver is a French guy, he says allo, hi in a french accent. Wanting to show off my french I say salut, çava? Tres bien tres bien, he says and notices I have no pants, questce qui s’est passé? (What happened?)

Jai perdue mes pantalons mec, quand je me suis reveillé ils sont disparue! (I lost my pants dude, when I woke up they disappeared!)

Ah vraiment? He starts looking at my junk lustfully. I feel uncomfortable and try to cross my legs. He flashes a wry smile and moves his eyebrows up and down. He is not bad looking. My small bulge starts becoming an erection and I wake up

That's pretty gay bro, even my homoerotic dreams usually begin with a pretense of heterosexuality, like a hot woman suddenly morphing into a dude and promising to let me fuck her if she/he has their way with me first. This is what happens when you feed your carnal desires, pretty soon you'll be unable to get off to anything less than necrotic horse anus in a sex barn.

 

[CiG]

He'll be cruising Euro tranny spots in no time.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

I dreamt I was listening to a 2018 metal album called "Some & Great" by a greek heavy metal band named Cheyenne. It was very favorably received by some of the people on this site and no country gave it 4 stars on RYM. I checked it out on spotify and it was basically traditional metal full of killer riffs and the production was slightly too rough for a 2018 release in a good way. The vocalist was a dead ringer for Vittorio Ballerio. The lyrics were in broken English and several songs were Magic the Gathering-themed. One song in particular was called "Heaven's Card" and the lyrics were about how people who win MtG duels get pussy, while losers get eternal torment.

 

[no country for old wainds]

 

[Bloopy]

Today's dream: some performer is on stage at a small bar when news filters in about a close friend of Bono committing suicide, which is relevant as supposedly U2 is playing a concert here the next night. Then there's one car following another, one of which is a white Mustang, a scenario lifted out of Family Plot which I watched last night. For some reason I go to U2 despite hating them and a bunch of people I know are there. Possibly the tickets were free and we like the support band which I can't recall. The performer from last night has apparently also committed suicide, perhaps as a preference over using a free U2 ticket like the rest of us. Bono's heard about this and speaks a tribute. I imagine him giving a shout out to my noise music but he doesn't. I have a seat in the most expensive section way up the side or back of the arena, where the seats are sometimes hanging on ropes so you can swing on them. It's as if they're all about the status of being above everyone else. A friend goes up to the front barrier, reaches out with a paintbrush and paints a penis on the floor of the stage using white glue. A weedy young usher turns up and taps her on the shoulder, gesturing for her to go off to the side. She slips away and returns to sitting on the floor looking disinterested in the general admission area with some other people I know. The guitarist only just manages to avoid stepping on the penis, while people come along and quickly clean it up, seemingly having to mop away a large amount of glue that's pooling at the front of the stage as well. My hanging seat malfunctions and carries me down over the stairs, out the door and about 400 metres down the street like a chairlift. At the end I catch up to a guy whose seat has done the same thing. We figure the ropes have gotten tangled and to fix them there are strings we need to cut and then re-tie. We head back up the street without the seats anyway. I walk, but he's a U2 fan so he runs. I encounter at least one person I know but keep going. I climb all the way back up the stairs. The ropes are gone and there's now some kind of long thin box taking up my seat and the one next to it. There are quite a lot of empty seats so I sit in the one on the opposite side of the aisle. Another row just has a few Sopranos DVDs left in the seats. I work out that the box in my seat is some kind of advertising spambot and I use an app to report it. I reach over and keep nudging it until there's room for me to sit in my allocated seat. I look back across and see that Jane Kaczmarek is in the seat behind the one I was just sitting in. Her face reminds me of my mother, but she has short hair which reminds me of my girlfriend's (particularly funny as she's older than me). Jane says she's having a bad hair day and it's getting worse as the concert goes on. I try to reassure her that her hair is beautiful.

In another recent dream, I was navigating a somewhat perilous maze-like 2D terrain resembling something from the Worms video games, using tools from the games like blowtorches and jet packs. The prize for reaching the end is that I'm in the back seat of a car while my mother is in the passenger seat, and I'm using a pair of barbecue forks to pull chunks of meat from her back and eat them. They're already seasoned and cooked, and she's quite content to go out this way. Freud would cream his jeans if he got to study me.