The great and all powerful religion thread!

[Rabid Headbanger]

True cause he forces them to become followers, he forces them to donate to sin, and he could care less for buildings. For once you are in the light, there is still hope for youuu!!!!!

No he doesn't. No he doesn't. No shit. No I'm not.

 

[Evil?]

So, earlier I was taking this HUGE shit. It was really disgusting. Anyway, much to my dismay I see that we are out of toilet paper! The only thing within reach was a Bible someone had been reading in the bathroom. Needless to say, I tore some pages out and wiped my ass with them. It was quite nice.

 

[Blue_Jay]

No he doesn't. No he doesn't. No shit. No I'm not.

YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL YOU INTOLERANY DENIER OF GOD, READ THE DOG GONE BIBLE ALREADY AND QUIT DRINKING YOUR DAMN BEER ALL THE TIME, IT'S THE DRINK 2ND TO THE DEVIL'S HEART, 1ST BEING WINE.

So, earlier I was taking this HUGE shit. It was really disgusting. Anyway, much to my dismay I see that we are out of toilet paper! The only thing within reach was a Bible someone had been reading in the bathroom. Needless to say, I tore some pages out and wiped my ass with them. It was quite nice.

Don't ever do that again!!! That's disrespectful to the cool person on your avatar.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

So, earlier I was taking this HUGE shit. It was really disgusting. Anyway, much to my dismay I see that we are out of toilet paper! The only thing within reach was a Bible someone had been reading in the bathroom. Needless to say, I tore some pages out and wiped my ass with them. It was quite nice.

The word of the lord... NOW IN TWO PLY!!!

 

[zabu of nΩd]

YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL YOU INTOLERANY DENIER OF GOD, READ THE DOG GONE BIBLE ALREADY AND QUIT DRINKING YOUR DAMN BEER ALL THE TIME, IT'S THE DRINK 2ND TO THE DEVIL'S HEART, 1ST BEING WINE.

Can you please just get banned already?

 

[knives]

Can you please just get banned already?

I'm getting the feeling he wasn't serious...

 

[supseudonymous]

I'm getting the feeling he wasn't serious...

No, stick around and you'll see. He was ridiculously serious.

 

[cookiecutter]

There was only a few species of animals back then in the time of Noah, check out the story, it'll say what animals existed back then in that time peroid. All other species came after the story

God began evolution/the big bang/ etc. There was no creationism and God did not actually have the whole "and on the 5th day he created light" or whatever. The only things in the bible that can possibly be true are selected verses from the new testament (The cruxifiction, etc). It is conceivable to me that Jesus existed (and performed various miracles, the whole 'died to save mankind' scene, etc) , but also conceivable that he did not exist at all. To me the bible cannot be taken literally; it needs to be used a sort of guide or something.

Why do you feel it ok to not believe the Bible in some places and believe it in others? If people use it as a guide, why do they not stone unruly children?

 

[zabu of nΩd]

So, earlier I was taking this HUGE shit. It was really disgusting. Anyway, much to my dismay I see that we are out of toilet paper! The only thing within reach was a Bible someone had been reading in the bathroom. Needless to say, I tore some pages out and wiped my ass with them. It was quite nice.

Dammit, if my sig weren't already so big this would go right on it.

 

[Matt]

Why do you feel it ok to not believe the Bible in some places and believe it in others? If people use it as a guide, why do they not stone unruly children?

Er I feel it is ok because some parts of the bible are rediculous?

That's a stupid question btw.

 

[cookiecutter]

How do you differentiate the parts that are "rediculous" from the good parts? It seems as if you take modern morality to the Bible, find what fits, and then claim the Bible gives you a "guideline".

 

[knives]

No, stick around and you'll see. He was ridiculously serious.

lol. I read some more of his posts, I figured that out...

And Mathiäs, a lot of Christians would definitely disagree with what you said. For the most part, I would say that Christians believe in all of the Bible.
In fact, I would say that it would be nearly impossible to be a Christian and believe only selected parts of the Bible.
I don't think cookiecutter's question was ridiculous at all.

 

[Matt]

rrr...you people are irritating.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Get out while you still can, dude.

 

[supseudonymous]

By a great majority most Christians aren't stupid enough to take every word of the Bible literally and seriously. I'm sure there are plenty of fundamentalists who do though.

 

[knives]

Most Christians aren't stupid enough to take every word of the Bible literally and seriously. I'm sure there are plenty of fundamentalists who do though.

Yes. I would argue that some parts of the bible are allegories or parables, that are not meant to be taken literally. But for the most part, I think it was meant to be taken literally.

 

[cookiecutter]

If you aren't going to take it literally, why believe any of it at all?

 

[knives]

If you aren't going to take it literally, why believe any of it at all?

Are you asking me this?

 

[zabu of nΩd]

By a great majority most Christians aren't stupid enough to take every word of the Bible literally and seriously. I'm sure there are plenty of fundamentalists who do though.

'Twould be interesting to have some statistics on that.

At any rate, I'm sure that the proportion of fundamentalist Christians among the entire Christian population is declining, much like the percentage of religious people among the world population.

 

[supseudonymous]

If you aren't going to take it literally, why believe any of it at all?

So you've never believed anything half-heartedly?

(Damn I don't like arguing for them.)