The great and all powerful religion thread!

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son


[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]
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wow... too sad to comprihend...

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?
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hilarious. i need a black robe...
~gR~
 
Zephyrus said:
Occult Satanism must be all this bullshit that Black Funeral is promoting, with all these ritual paraphernalia and what not in their myspace bulletins.

Either that or some sort of Vampire cult.

algolshirtbanner.jpg


luciferianapothad.jpg


algolforsuccubus.jpg
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I never got how that is considered any better than Christianity. It is a blind faith.
 
genocide roach said:
http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/


wow... too sad to comprihend...


hilarious. i need a black robe...
~gR~
Click to expand...
My favorite Christian quotes are the high school girl who was bitching about being expelled for harassing a Wiccan girl in her class and the couple who told their daughter that if she and her lesbian partner had a kid, they would sue for custody, because it's against God's will for a kid to have two moms.
cookiecutter said:
No serious individual believes that or Christianity
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Fixed :lol:
 
Just out of curiosity, how is Jesus any more gods "son" then anyone else. Because god used his magic powers to knock up some broad? He would still just be conjuring him up from nothing. How does this make Jesus gods son and the rest of humanity not?

That thought had never popped into my mind until now.
 
I've thought that ever since about 2nd grade. Aren't we all Gods children? (according to the Catholics)
 
The principle goes that Jesus was conceived purely by divinity, as opposed to the male sperm of a human male. Therefore he was "biologically" the son of God. The whole "God's children" thing means that we are all the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, who were created by God in the Book of Genesis.
 
Evil? said:
Just out of curiosity, how is Jesus any more gods "son" then anyone else. Because god used his magic powers to knock up some broad? He would still just be conjuring him up from nothing. How does this make Jesus gods son and the rest of humanity not?

That thought had never popped into my mind until now.
Click to expand...

Wait...we're all gods children, yes? This includes Mary. Who gave birth to the son of god.

Incest, anyone?
 
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