Thasis said:
OMG! Are you serious... I should realy read the bible just to get a laugh out of it.
There are numerous other examples than listed here but this is a start:
Slower than the second coming
Matthew 10:22-23 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall not have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come. (KJV)
NOTE: This is perhaps the most damning statement in the whole Bible with regard to Jesus' accuracy as a prophet. The "cities of Israel" have been thoroughly evangelized through the centuries, yet Jesus has never returned. It is not as though there are some cities in the nation of Israel which have "not [been] gone over" yet.
Matthew 24:30-31,34 And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. . . Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. (KJV)
Luke 21:27-28,32 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh. . . Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled. (KJV)
NOTE: A common explanation for "this generation shall not pass away" is that the Greek word "genea" (generation) can also mean "race" or "nation," so what Jesus was actually saying here is that the Jews will not pass away before all these things are fulfilled. However, many of the things Jesus said would "be fulfilled" specifically regard the Jews: the surrounding of Jerusalem by armies (Luke 21:20), the continuation of Sabbath days (Matthew 24:20), the desecration of the Temple (Matthew 24:15), etc. Thus, to say that the race of the Jews will not pass away before all these things happen to the Jews is ridiculously obvious, and devoid of any substantive meaning. By defining "genea" as "race" or "nation," one problem is merely exchanged for another: Jesus is made to look as an idiot instead of a false prophet.
1 Peter 4:7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. (KJV)
Revelation 1:1-3 The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John: Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw. Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand. (KJV)
Revelation 3:10-11 Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth. Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. (KJV)
Revelation 22:6-7,12,20 And he said unto me, These sayings are faithful and true: and the Lord God of the holy prophets sent his angel to shew unto his servants the things which must shortly be done. Behold, I come quickly: blessed is he that keepeth the sayings of the prophecy of this book. . . And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. . . He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus. (KJV)