The Paranormal Thread

[zoidberg]

nec needs to take lesson from V5. instead of closing the love/hate threads or the adult film actress thread, change the name to whatever topic people happen to be talking about.

Hail V5!

 

[supseudonymous]

You're full of shit, deceived, or are reporting inaccurate data.

Reporting inaccurate data is a possibility, as that event happened to my mom when I was not there. These events actually happened to me exactly as I describe them: A black figure appeared at my front door, asked for a girl named Rachael, and dissolved in front my eyes. A 50lb. free weight flew 10ft. across my room. I woke up to a shrieking scream in my ear one morning when I was home alone (no music/tv on). I can list more events which occurred to others in my family, but those are the ones which actually happened to me.

 

[Kudzu]

Cheers for the rename V5

Reporting inaccurate data is a possibility, as that event happened to my mom when I was not there. These events actually happened to me exactly as I describe them: A black figure appeared at my front door, asked for a girl named Rachael, and dissolved in front my eyes. A 50lb. free weight flew 10ft. across my room. I woke up to a shrieking scream in my ear one morning when I was home alone (no music/tv on). I can list more events which occurred to others in my family, but those are the ones which actually happened to me.

If that happens to me I'm outta there as fast as a bullet.

Don't you feel you're in danger?

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

They have to be. Another thing is that we don't know wich laws of physics apply with all this.

Things from other dimensions don't necessarily have to follow what we perceive as universal physical laws.

I'm just playing devil's advocate, I don't really believe any of this, but whatever.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

A black figure appeared at my front door, asked for a girl named Rachael, and dissolved in front my eyes.

Shoulda said "Hell if I know her. Got a bottle opener?"

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

If that happens to me I'm outta there as fast as a bullet.

Don't you feel you're in danger?

It's a well known fact demons can be subdued with Motley Crue or Slayer (Depending on what you feel like).

 

[Kudzu]

It's a well known fact demons can be subdued with Motley Crue or Slayer (Depending on what you feel like).

I assumed they were far more easily dominated with celine dion.

 

[Wolves83]

Since this is a paranormal thread, don't you think bigfoots fit the bill as being paranormal or abnormal? I would like to see bigfoot.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

I assumed they were far more easily dominated with celine dion.

Maybe if you want to piss them off.

 

[zoidberg]

so that the maker of this thread wont be disappointed here is my paranormal encounter

zoiidberg: Well ghost, I’m going to New York with you. You know, Bucky Harris, the Yank’s manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you’re on the team.

ghost: Look zoidberg, if you’re the coach, you must know all the players.

zoidberg: Right, certainly do.

ghost: Well, I never met the guys, so you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know who’s playing on the team.

zoidberg: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know strange as it may seem, they give these ball players now a days, very peculiar names.

ghost: You mean funny names?

zoidberg: Strange names, pet names. Like, Dizzy Dean, and…

ghost: His brother Daffy?

zoidberg: Daffy Dean.

ghost: And their French cousin.

zoidberg: French?

ghost: Goofe’.

zoidberg: Goofe’ Dean, oh I see! Well let’s see, we have on the bags, we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know is on third.

ghost: That’s what I want to find out.

zoidberg: I say, Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know’s on third.

ghost: Are you the manager?

zoidberg: Yes.

ghost: You going to be the coach too?

zoidberg: Yes.

ghost: And you don’t know the fellow’s names?

zoidberg: Well I should.

ghost: Well then who is on first?

zoidberg: Yes.

ghost: I mean the fellow’s name.

zoidberg: Who.

ghost: The guy on first.

zoidberg: Who.

ghost: The first baseman.

zoidberg: Who!

ghost: The guy playing first base.

zoidberg: Who is on first.

ghost: I’m asking you who’s on first!

zoidberg: That’s the man’s name.

ghost: That’s whose name?

zoidberg: Yeah.

ghost: Well go ahead and tell me.

zoidberg: That’s it.

ghost: That’s who?

zoidberg: Yeah.

(Pause)

zoidberg: Look, you got a first baseman?

ghost: Certainly.

zoidberg: Who’s playing first?

ghost: That’s right.

zoidberg: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

ghost: Every dollar of it.

zoidberg: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base.

ghost: Who.

zoidberg: The guy that gets the money.

ghost: That’s it.

zoidberg: Who gets the money on first base?

ghost: He does, every dollar! Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

zoidberg: Whose wife?

ghost: Yes. (Pause) What’s wrong with that?

zoidberg: Look, all I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name to the contract?

ghost: Who.

zoidberg: The guy.

ghost: Who.

zoidberg: How does he sign it?

ghost: That’s how he signs it!

zoidberg: Who?

ghost: Yes.

(Pause)

zoidberg: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.

ghost: No, what’s on second base.

zoidberg: I’m not asking who’s on second.

ghost: Who is on first!

zoidberg: One base at a time!

ghost: Well don’t change the players around!

zoidberg: I’m not changing nobody!

ghost: Take it easy, buddy.

zoidberg: All I’m asking you, who’s the guy on first base?!

ghost: That’s right.

zoidberg: Okay.

ghost: Alright.

(Pause)

zoidberg: What’s the guy’s name on first base?!

ghost: No, What is on second!

zoidberg: I’m not asking you who’s on second!

ghost: Who’s on first.

zoidberg: I don’t know.

ghost: Oh, he’s on third. We’re not talking about him. Now let’s get back to first.

zoidberg: Now how did I get on third base?

ghost: Well you mentioned his name.

zoidberg: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say’s playing third?

ghost: No, Who’s playing first.

zoidberg: What’s on first?

ghost: What’s on second.

zoidberg: I don’t know.

ghost: He’s on third.

zoidberg: There I go, back on third again! Will you stay on third base and don’t go off it?

ghost: Alright, what do you want to know?

zoidberg: Now who’s playing third base?!

ghost: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

zoidberg: What am I putting on third?!

ghost: No, What is on second.

zoidberg: You don’t want who on second?!

ghost: No, Who is on first.

zoidbergello: I don’t know!

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

zoidberg: Look, you got outfield?

ghost: Sure.

zoidberg: The left fielder’s name?

ghost: Why.

zoidberg: I just thought I’d ask you.

ghost: Well I just thought I’d tell you.

zoidberg: Then tell me who is playing left field.

ghost: Who is playing first.

zoidberg: I’m not…Stay out of the infield! I want to know, what’s the guy’s name in left field?

ghost: No, What is on second.

zoidberg: I’m not asking who’s on second.

ghost: No, Who is on first.

zoidberg: I don’t know.

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

zoidberg: And left fielder’s name?

ghost: Why!

zoidberg: Because.

ghost: No, he’s center field.

zoidberg: (Fumbles words loudly)

ghost: Well that’s the fellow’s name.

zoidberg: Look, look, look, you got a pitcher?

ghost: Sure.

zoidberg: The pitcher’s name?

ghost: Tomorrow.

zoidberg: You don’t want to tell me today?

ghost: I’m telling you then.

zoidberg: Well go ahead.

ghost: Tomorrow.

zoidberg: What time?

ghost: What time what?

zoidberg: At what time tomorrow are you going to tell me who’s pitching?

ghost: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on…

zoidberg: I’ll break your arm you say who’s on first! I want to know, what’s the pitcher’s name?

ghost: What’s on second!

zoidberg: I don’t know!

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

zoidberg: Got a catcher?

ghost: Certainly.

zoidberg: The catcher’s name.

ghost: Today.

zoidberg: Today? And tomorrow’s pitching?

ghost: Now you’ve got it.

zoidberg: All we got is a couple of days on the team. You know, I’m a catcher too.

ghost: So they tell me.

zoidberg: I get behind the plate, do some fancy catching. Tomorrow’s pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up.

ghost: Yes.

zoidberg: Now, the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball, and throw it to who?

ghost: Now that’s the first thing that you’ve said right.

zoidberg: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

ghost: Well that’s all you have to do!

zoidberg: Is throw the ball to first base?

ghost: Yes.

zoidberg: Now who’s got it?

ghost: Naturally.

(Pause)

zoidberg: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody’s got to get it. Now who has it?

ghost: Naturally.

zoidberg: Who?

ghost: Naturally.

zoidberg: Naturally?

ghost: Naturally.

zoidberg: So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally?

ghost: No you don’t! You throw the ball to Who!

zoidberg: Naturally.

ghost: That’s different.

zoidberg: That’s what I said.

ghost: You’re not saying that.

zoidberg: I throw the ball to Naturally?

ghost: You throw it to Who.

zoidberg: Naturally.

ghost: That’s it.

zoidberg: That’s what I said!

ghost: Listen, you ask me.

zoidberg: I throw the ball to who?

ghost: Naturally.

zoidberg: Now you ask me.

ghost: You throw the ball to Who?

zoidberg: Naturally.

ghost: That’s it.

zoidberg: Same as you!

ghost: You just changed them around.

zoidberg: Same as you! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball, the guy runs to second, who picks up the ball, throw’s it to what, what throw’s it to I don’t know, I don’t know throw’s it back to tomorrow, triple play!

ghost: Yes.

zoidberg: Another guy gets up, and it’s a long fly ball to because. Why? I don’t know, he’s on third, and I don’t give a darn!

ghost: Oh…What?

zoidberg: I said, I don’t give a darn!

ghost: Oh, that’s our short stop.

zoidberg: (Fumbles words loudly)

 

[zabu of nΩd]

goddammit

 

[Kudzu]

@Zoidberg you've eat too many popplers

 

[zoidberg]

i dont even know what that is.

 

[AchrisK]

I told you all that zoidebrg was the funniest.

 

[zoidberg]

I told you all that zoidebrg was the funniest.

thanks for trying to make me feel better but i guess im going to go awardless this year.

you people dont get as angey at me as other forums. mixed feelings about that.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

FUCK YOU!111!!

 

[AchrisK]

feel better, z?

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

i was trying to piss him off not make him feel good?????????

 

[~Derek~]

Reporting inaccurate data is a possibility, as that event happened to my mom when I was not there. These events actually happened to me exactly as I describe them: A black figure appeared at my front door, asked for a girl named Rachael, and dissolved in front my eyes. A 50lb. free weight flew 10ft. across my room. I woke up to a shrieking scream in my ear one morning when I was home alone (no music/tv on). I can list more events which occurred to others in my family, but those are the ones which actually happened to me.

The average person doesn't have experiences like this, most of us never encounter things that others say is ghosts so why are you an exception from the rest of us? No offense, but most anyone you tell stories like this to will think you're fucking nuts. And were you under anything at all that could've triggered hallucinations and possibly playd tricks on your mind?

 

[AchrisK]

i was trying to piss him off not make him feel good?????????

Yeah, but he has mixed feeling about being accepted and not making people angry, so by attacking him you are making part of him feel as he seems to expect to feel, and apparently desires to feel.