So I was at a Friday the 13th party last night with a few of my metalhead friends and of course, everyone was drunk/high except for me. But one of them was far beyond gone. He was completely tanked. Through out the night, this guy would do the funniest shit I've seen in a long time. He tried to shit off the second story balcony, pants down and in the shitting position up on the railing, but failed since he had no turds in storage. He kept doing hand stands and balancing off of tables and chairs. He was eating some gummy bears and eventually had a siezure/became possesed by a kid with down syndrome and ended up in the floor between the couch and coffee table, with all of the couch cushions on him and knocked tons of shit everywhere. When he came to, the only thing he could say was, "Where's my gummies? Where are my gummies at?" It was just too funny. You don't mess with a metalhead and his gummy bears. He did a lot of yelling in German too. Eventually he calmed down and started freezing so he went out to his car and fell asleep with the heater on. But everytime he'd forget about what happened, he would ask what was going on and we would tell him he tried to shit off the balcony, and he would laugh for 2 minutes everytime we told him.
After that, Shane put on God Dethroned's Bloody Blasphemy and we made the discovery that their lyricist is either a genius, or has A.D.D. Look:
"I'm the serpent king.
From the heavens I once came.
And I choose your soul.
To have and hold forever.
Feel my presence every second.
But my body travels undetected.
Now. I'm gonna shoot you from real close. "
Yeah, where the hell did that last part come from? It's completely random. It's as if he was getting a good flow going and then all of a sudden he became distracted and lost his flow, so he just pulled it out of thin air, like it was the most bad ass line ever. And we laughed about that for a good 20 minutes. Last night I laughed harder than I have in years.
