The (Un)official write anything you want page

This contest is over, give that man the $10,000!

-Well, didn't you tell me that you had... "gripped him by the buttocks and pulled him closer?"
-Yes, but that was 'cause I was concerned that he might fall. Doctor, his pants were down around his goddamn ankles.
 
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you've never known true refreshment until you've sprinkled gold bond powder into your buttcrack. whether you have a 'condition' or not (which i don't)...it's still the greatest thing ever in the summer! ahhh
 
The other day after a class a small child came up to me and patted my ass. I just sat there thinking "What the fuck was that about?" as I watched her go back over to her mother, say something in Japanese, and then come back over and do the same damned thing as the mother just watched.

Oh, and during one class with some young students (4-5 years old) a boy went over to his mother, sat in her lap, spread his legs, grabbed her hand and started using it to stroke himself off through his shorts. And yet, I was the only one in the room with a "OMG WTF!" expression.