I am 43 years old and I have been a musician since the age of 4. I started off beating on any can or bucket I could get my hands on playing to old Jackson 5 and Beatles songs. I then got to play my cousins drum set and started playing funk stuff then disco. As an African American man, from the time I was born I listened to soul, funk, r&b and disco because that's what was in the house, but we lived in a predominately white neighborhood so most of my friends were white, and they were listening to groups like KISS, Lynard Skynard and Rush and other rock bands, so I listened to them too. When I got into middle school I joined school band played many different instruments and picked up bass guitar. about that time my friends and I started listening to groups like Motley Crew, WASP, and other glam rock bands as well as the New Wave stuff MTV was playing. Joined my first band in the 8th grade....won a talent show playing "I wanna be somebody" by WASP. When I got into high school naturally I joined the marching band playing drums but still played bass. When I finished school I was approached by a guy asking if I was interested in trying out for a band and I did, but was told that although I'm a good bass player but it didn't look right for black people in rock bands. But that didn't bother me because I soon was asked by another band to play in their band and with the drummer of that band we grew tired of the OZZY type stuff were playing and wanted to get heavier which we started a thrash metal then got heavier into death metal and we had some success doing a small tour opening up for Cannibal Corpse, Grave, Devastation, and other death metal groups that were around that time. I got married and had kids and decided that I didn't wanna play in a band but I've always wanted to have a part in music. I've recorded and produced some bands and had fun. I love music and being a part of the production of it. Here comes the big problem. My wife says she supports me but when I want to do anything music related she gets pissed and gives me shit. I have told her how angry it makes me that she questions me and what I do. The reason I told you guys the story about how I grew up with music is to show how long I've been in music. We have been to counseling and she just wont get it. I feel like If I can't just pick up my bass guitar and play without her telling me that I care more about my bass than her and the kids, I may have to divorce her. I am really unhappy when I don't get to just go into my studio when I want without her giving me a pissed off look. I love my wife but I don't wanna be up her ass all day long or her up mine. Am I being selfish?
, but get where you're coming from. it's a thin line to walk. family and our passion. i get it man, really i do. more than you know. it's hard to believe other people don't, especially our WIVES - but they don't. they have no idea the happiness it give us - or what it provides mentally to us when we really need it. they should. God knows they should. i can't tell you the times i've run out of my little "music hole" to tell her how i just wrote the next "Stairway to Heaven" to get.. "that's great... oh, can you put the kids to bed tonight?". but not understanding or comprehending doesn't get them off the hook. they still need to accept that it brings us happiness and provides a sense of "well being" that in the end benefits everyone! 
