We all live dreaming, so... post here your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams!

[Melancholia]

hmmm i've reading this thread regularly.....and now i think it's the time to offer some contribution (i'm not sure it will be any intelligent though )......
what i like in this thread is that its present state is full of riddles...and though i would like to see something more specific i won't complain cause for some reason i prefer and i'm somehow forced to post some kind of "riddle-post"

rahvin@ i do realize you don't feel so well,even though i don't know the exact reason you have my wishes on that and even though it may sound inproper or stupid bear in mind that things DO change....i mean they sometimes change by themselves without forcing them.... but well this hmmm as i see it a matter of luck or chance or sth ....
so this wall you find impossible to break,maybe it will fall by itself...
or maybe soon you'll find yourself in something else,wanting something else from life...
or maybe with some force by your side things may change
i know you're wise enough and you are not in need for my hmmm obscure pieces of advice... i guess felt i have to say these
Good luck my friend! and remember than when you feel like revealing what's on the other side of your wall,we will all be here to listen

As for me.... i'm faced with a wall...just like Rahvin and Melon...
but my wall is like Melon's.....i don't think it's something impossible i long for..i am afraid i have started thinking like our robot ....nothing is impossible...especially when you are willing to fight for it and well day by day i feel even more confident about it....
something is blooming in my life...I am no longer sad....i don't even feel empty.... and believe it or not yesterday (the day before yesterday? alzheimer here...) i read my first posts on this thread and felt like it was a completely different person talking...not the current me definitely...
I feel very happy,surrounded by a great cloud which gives me strength and will to live......i don't remember when it was the last time i felt so wonderful...maybe never...
all i can say is that i am very grateful life has given me this special thing.....especially in a period when all was going downfall....and i had actually stopped dreaming...and even taken the stupidest and passivest decision ever... Maybe what's happening to me now is some kind of pleasant punishment i got for thinking that my life (and i mean LIFE not survival) has ended.....now i know that life can be totally unpredictable...you can never know what's to come...and no matter how hard you try or not want some things to happen,it's very possible that you'll soon find yourself in the most impossible/unexpected situation... (AM I SAYING THIS??????? yup,it's me ... )
now all i have to do is to keep being grateful, dreaming, fighting, planning,breathing,letting myself love and thinking positive....

I really wish you are all doing well and if not i wish what you want will come to you....
Take care of yourselves....

LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE....never stop dreaming or hoping....

~Mel~(feeling like a new Mel lately...)

P.S. Daaaaamn,i have to go back to some pre-sleeping studying.....what does mythological stuff has to do in a psychology degree??? anyway,it's more pleasant than the most things i have to study this year
May Dionysos Lysios be with you

 

[|ngenius]

Still watching the sky. Looks beautiful tonight. A warm breeze comes in on the thread, carrying hopeless words, whispering illusions on this silent night.

However, I'm smiling but feeling a bit alone. There's a permanent sensation on me, walking by my side through the path of life such a guardian.

The breeze becomes a low wind, there's a cold wind tonight howling to me...


|ngenius (...)

 

[Siren]

/me passing a warm blanket to |ngenius

I'm kinda confused in my life. It seems that I want what I don't have. Or as someone told me, "I don't know what I want but I want it now"...
When I get it I'm still unsatisfied and unsure, thinking of the other option that I lost.
This unsatisfaction sucks...

I really hope that this happiness and pink clouds that float around in this forum lately affect all people in here...

And when I said some people do deserve happiness, I mostly said it in order to be heard, I didn't add the obvious, that we need to do our best in order to help them get there...


Siren (trying to follow robot's advice)

 

[Final_Vision]

I have felt very uplifted as of late...in a strange way tho, it all seems to short...I have some true friends leaving in about 6 months and everything is moving incredibly fast. I feel the urge to DO something! I want to do something that will impact my life, not just sit idle as everything floats by, as I usually would.

Does anyone ever fall into a very short state where your mind is in a huge rush? Like it would almost make you dizzy? Ive gotten that a few times in the last week.I feel that all I can do is enjoy the moment and not worry bout the future. Im still hoping to meet someone I can share my journey with but at the moment its not viable. But ill press on and ill see what happens, its all i can do.

I sit in silence, echoes pass by my ears earily. Memories of the past fade in and out, my mind whirls in anticipation, and fear. I wonder where the waves'll take me in the future, but in this state of grace I wallow, relax, and press on...

Final_Vision (starting to like the release I have achieved in this thread )

 

[FatherVic]

/me opens his eyes....slowly....seemed to be sleeping for ages. And well, somehow he still feels a bit sleepy, still too much to be unleashed in many ways. In front of him on an isolated rock there's |ngenius, I can feel his warmth still staring at the clouds of stars.
Two meters to the left there's Rahvin, I can see him clearly, can't see his face though....The feeling, so tender, so refreshing yet sad and disillusioned. But the inner fire is getting bigger and bigger.
By him but yet on another rock (but not that far) there's Siren, still lost, still opening. Full of will to live. Young and impatient. Fire to burn life!
Few rocks on his lefts there's Final_Vision, the dreamy yet glad one. Happy to be in his little own white world floating to improve something he thinks is nice.
Just in the rock next to me there's Melancholia....a light from the ashes with a renewed happiness. The best example of the fact life's umpredictable!!!
so FatherVic stares again to the galaxies above and feels very relieved and happy. He knows that life is offering us the oportunities and that we must take our chance! He also feels in the way Melancholia does and so he will keep trying for his own aims. And besides feels extremely happy to see that he's not the only one who's staring at the stars on a rock in the middle of nowhere!

fathervic (prepared to give himself and at the feet of his rock_friends)

 

[rahvin]

@mel: i thank you kindly for your words (i'm not nearly wise enough to do without) and wish you all good fortune in your *new* outlook. it seems to me it has already done a lot of good to you and i'm very happy to hear it is so. as for me, i know i might eventually want something else and have no tendency to get suicidal or terminally depressed... the reason i'm feeling unwell is mostly the uncertainty inherent to my status: i'm 24 with a decent job, studies well under way and more trusted friends than some may have in a lifetime, so it's about time i wonder if this is it, or where it might lead.

@the circle of rocks:
and then, slowly at first, our eyes are drawn to the center of our small circle, where a sphere of white light just started spinning with a distant hum. there is promise in the light, and perhaps we see faces (i know i do).
rahvin outstretches his hand toward the sphere, crashing quite loudly against his invisible wall. yeah, right, the wall. he almost forgot. burning with shame and frustration, he turns his face to the outside of the circle, cradling his hand in his lap.

rahvin.

 

[|ngenius]

|ngenius wakes up. He falled asleep without notice it. He stands up and starts walking, walking to nowhere, walking without a concrete direction and he doesn't look back.

|ngenius (This is the end, cya)

 

[FatherVic]

well you know I'll follow you....I just have to follow the oil stains you're leaving all the way down!!!

fathervic (grateful to |ng for this thread)

 

[Final_Vision]

did Ingenius (i cant find that line symbol on my new keyboad....) take this thread off life support finally? If so, ill follow you too, FV trail of Pepsi cans should lead the way......

I too am thankful for my late, but very fullfilling release

 

[rahvin]

i have a feeling without |ngenius this is all about to go awry... what will become of the sitters-on-the-stone? we better all follow the robot.

rahvin.

 

[Siren]

Little Siren is sitting on her rock, watching the others leaving. She will stay and watch the rocks for them. She knows they will be back....

 

[Final_Vision]

Follow the Hollow

Final_Vision: In search of hope and that catalan robot....

 

[mousewings]

I loved this thread... It is so beautiful that we could share our thoughts with each other. This could not have happened on any other board. Thank you to |ngenius for creating this wonderful topic.

Much love to all of you.

mousewings turns into a vampire bat and flies off into the distance... for now.

 

[FatherVic]

yeap, this was a great thread, great indeed....
I hope our robot hasn't quit really...I guess I'll phone him to see what's on his head....but for now I guess someone should go on with this.....now there are some rocks available, any one want to sit on them???

 

[Final_Vision]

perhaps we should return

 

[rahvin]

rahvin just got officially lost in the wilderness.
bushes and firs siding the path were chupi enough, but then everything suddenly went very green and very tangled all at once. now all directions look same-ish, and a tentative cry to the notes of '|ngenius?' or 'siren?' or 'anyone?' didn't do much good.
tree branches fill the space overhead and blacken (or rather brown) out the night sky.
they say sometimes you have to go way too far to actually find something to return to.

rahvin.

 

[Malaclypse]

uuh...

rahvin: "...and wish you all good fortune in your *new* outlook. "
thanks, outlook xp works great already.



now back to the thread...
as always i'm concerned with women. there is a saying in germany and probably anywhere else that goes:"drunk people and children always tell the truth." so in my case, being drunk sometimes, i experience being dragged towards certain women like my ex-girlfriend for example. being sober i don't really want to get back to her. now is this because i am more horny when i'm drunk or don't i want to see what i really feel when i'm sober? i've had that with another girl as well before, but i think she couldn't interpret my two-faced behaviour (being nice and cosy when drunk and more distant when sober) and we haven't had much contact lately. i really hate me for this. but i as well know that i'm a shy person who doesn't like his feelings to be written on his face. i have difficulties in showing what moves me... except in written language... or when i'm drunk. this is bullshit. it makes life so difficult, up to the point where i for myself don't know what i feel anymore.

VC

 

[rahvin]

@vultureculture: well, as a known drunkard i have to advise against using alcohol level as a meter for judging your interest in someone.
it's common knowledge that, when drunk, most people tend to get unusually mellow and look for general cuddling more than they'd do if sober. do not mistake this for love or other deeper feelings.
if you think your ex-girlfriend is just an ok girl during you sobriety, then i'm almost positive the basics don't change when you're drunk, even though you might feel that human comfort (especially the side of it you already know) holds much more attraction.
to avoid unpleasant situations, you might want to look for other girls, during your drinking sessions, girls that won't be hurt or disappointed by your quick change of attitude the morning after. such girls might include: barely-known acquaintances; drinkers (they tend to get the gist at first sight, you know); friends who might not care if you are a little... exhuberant as long as everything gets back to normal the day after.
on the other hand, you might instead want to be locked up alone by a (male) friend in a very small room with soft walls and no means of communication with the outside. just like ulysses did getting himself all tied up in the proximity of sirens (sorry, siren, no offence ). this usually works best if you tend to feel shameful around 10am, sunday.

rahvin. (handing his mobile phone to the most sober individual of the pack and telling him not to give it back to him for any reason)

 

[Malaclypse]

Originally posted by rahvin
rahvin. (handing his mobile phone to the most sober individual of the pack and telling him not to give it back to him for any reason)

yes, the fucking cellphone. it gets me in deep water anytime i am very drunk. i think i should either lock it away or disassemble it so i would't get it back running while still drunk

as for the rest, sure you generally have more of that 'luvin' feeling when drunk... i think i jsut have to move away or sth... meet some other people/women. the women at work where i spend one third of my day are horrible.

 

[Final_Vision]

I think im the most sober invidual of the pack considering ive never been drunk....or high....at any rate, Im pretty much the same as VC, i have a really hard time expressing feelings unless im with a lot of people i feel VERY comfortable with, when I think a girls hot, I dont even tell my closests friends until ive been thinkin it for a while. Writing in text helps, prolly because you dont have to look at faces, I cant stand doing that, always feel like someones judging you.....