We all live dreaming, so... post here your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams!
- Thread starter |ngenius
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rahvin
keeper of the flame
@|ngenius: there are times when one might feel he could just say it all, but only if other ppl show enough interest to ask some simple questions, otherwise it probably isn't worth the pain. i don't think that's so wrong or self-centered, after all, as long as we don't see through other ppl as well.
you know, i agree with your views about looking at one's own life from the outside. mostly i just feel like i'm going through the motions, aimlessly, with no one around actually startling me for having unsurpassed qualities or being able to make a difference in the method of groove.
and when it comes to chess metaphors, dani, i reckon i was born with a cowardly king, over-zealous knights, humorous pawns and no queen. the bishops keep on arguing with each other, but at least i've got so many rooks they nearly fill the table.
@fathervic: i'm happy for you. i suppose it's hard to be mad at someone like you...
rahvin.
you know, i agree with your views about looking at one's own life from the outside. mostly i just feel like i'm going through the motions, aimlessly, with no one around actually startling me for having unsurpassed qualities or being able to make a difference in the method of groove.
and when it comes to chess metaphors, dani, i reckon i was born with a cowardly king, over-zealous knights, humorous pawns and no queen. the bishops keep on arguing with each other, but at least i've got so many rooks they nearly fill the table.
@fathervic: i'm happy for you. i suppose it's hard to be mad at someone like you...
rahvin.
Wolfman Von Jones
The trouble with you
I have alot of dreams when im going to go to concerts and I think about them alot, anyway, I had a dream last night that,DT,IF,CoB,Soilwork, were playing a huge ass show and only people on the boards were allowed to come, and alot of people were there, and they had a bunch of instruments set up and everyone started playing. First it was Upon an Oaken Throne IF, the Punish my Heaven DT, then Taste of my Sythe CoB, the finally Chainheart Machine Soilwork.
There was alot of alcohol and we all got drunk and played a bunch of songs, it was cool. Then I woke up to my shitty life workin for the phone company.
There was alot of alcohol and we all got drunk and played a bunch of songs, it was cool. Then I woke up to my shitty life workin for the phone company.
Of course, it's a way, but not the only way.
Just a clarification: The feeling you talked about, my italian friend, is sth like a superiority feeling relative to the ppl you live with or you met in your life? I know it sounds in an egotism way, but my question is an appeal to your honesty. As I said before, I think we're living good times through the worst way possible, and isn't so difficult to become the "number one" in a comparison with the poor society around us. (And that ISN'T a justification or excuse to stop improving!!!).
Btw: Your chess board isn't a life, it seems a circus. Two elephants and a monkey and you will be a rich owner of a pretty circus. It's easy to start an artistic career, isn't it? (Argh, the joking tags again!)
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@|ngenius: i don't feel i'm better than the rest of the ppl around me on general principles. actually, if we had to look at human values and the likes, i really think i'm much worse.
most of the ppl i know tend to have good and stable morals, a lot of force of will and a decent, happy way to deal with themselves and their problems. in comparison, i think i'm quite lacking under all those aspects and more.
it's true though, that when it comes to other factors (rational thinking, intuition, getting the damn deal done, self-awareness, analysis of the worldaround) i think i'm above average. my very best friends are all at least at my level, and maybe way ahead (but it's hard to compare), whereas i know that if i just pick someone around at random and try to speak my mind without tuning down my means of expression (for instance) i mostly get a blank stare or mild amusement, or skepticism.
besides, i think most of those who relate to me on a skin-deep level (be it because i don't want them to get close, or they don't want that, or they simply have got only skin-depth) get all the wrong ideas about me: they see me as a stern, dispassionate and distant individual, with no means of being remotely caring towards other ppl. so they mainly react by not being caring themselves and this usually tends to suck, because in fact i do care for most of the ppl i meet and get to know.
if my chessboard is a circus, i'd be the dwarf.
rahvin.
most of the ppl i know tend to have good and stable morals, a lot of force of will and a decent, happy way to deal with themselves and their problems. in comparison, i think i'm quite lacking under all those aspects and more.
it's true though, that when it comes to other factors (rational thinking, intuition, getting the damn deal done, self-awareness, analysis of the worldaround) i think i'm above average. my very best friends are all at least at my level, and maybe way ahead (but it's hard to compare), whereas i know that if i just pick someone around at random and try to speak my mind without tuning down my means of expression (for instance) i mostly get a blank stare or mild amusement, or skepticism.
besides, i think most of those who relate to me on a skin-deep level (be it because i don't want them to get close, or they don't want that, or they simply have got only skin-depth) get all the wrong ideas about me: they see me as a stern, dispassionate and distant individual, with no means of being remotely caring towards other ppl. so they mainly react by not being caring themselves and this usually tends to suck, because in fact i do care for most of the ppl i meet and get to know.
if my chessboard is a circus, i'd be the dwarf.
rahvin.
Just what I expected. I've a good intuition after all. Ok, the second part of your post is an explanation of how is my life nowadays, feeling I'm far away of everybody around me, more rational but passionate, totally above of average. That's the reason I'm sometimes annoyed when I can't express myself in english as well as I wish, 'cos I've a high verbal expression in my native language.
Even though, my skills grew up in disorder. I mean that my culture and knowledge has some lacks in many fields, so don't get the point by the wrong way: I'm not an erudite, but I'm proud of my rational-nimble-fast mind. Nowadays I'm trying to improve in these fields I mentioned, and analyzing the right and wrong aspects of the society around me.
You're lucky of be surrounded by these "almost at my level" friends, I still miss that intelligence to interactuate with. I remember me as a child, believing all adult ppl are mainly serious and clever, taking his decisions with founded reasons and enjoying the life. I thought the crazy and scared ppl were a minority. It was hard when I found the fear into my parents, and saw clearly they were far away of any kind of wisdom, and mostly afraid and living in disease.
I don't know how, but all around me show the same face. The world order I was sure of... doesn't exists. Everybody depressed, everybody living on their own. Hey, you can see it in the pages of this thread.
But all these thoughts will drive me to nowhere if I cross my arms and sit down to cry. The question that surely is now crossing through your mind is: "What does |ngenius to save the world?". And the answer isn't so clear for me. I do the best I can on each situation I live, trying to encourage everybody to improve and find their illusions. Someone told me that the right way to get more is to give more.
About you, my little italian intelligence, I guess you don't think you're worse than ppl around you in the field of the force of will or whatever, 'cos your rational mind is rational enough to see the chance of an improvement, isn't it? It's a contradiction to have a rational and clever mind that just can see and do nothing in the fields you're talking about.
|ngenius (so tired today)
Even though, my skills grew up in disorder. I mean that my culture and knowledge has some lacks in many fields, so don't get the point by the wrong way: I'm not an erudite, but I'm proud of my rational-nimble-fast mind. Nowadays I'm trying to improve in these fields I mentioned, and analyzing the right and wrong aspects of the society around me.
You're lucky of be surrounded by these "almost at my level" friends, I still miss that intelligence to interactuate with. I remember me as a child, believing all adult ppl are mainly serious and clever, taking his decisions with founded reasons and enjoying the life. I thought the crazy and scared ppl were a minority. It was hard when I found the fear into my parents, and saw clearly they were far away of any kind of wisdom, and mostly afraid and living in disease.
I don't know how, but all around me show the same face. The world order I was sure of... doesn't exists. Everybody depressed, everybody living on their own. Hey, you can see it in the pages of this thread.
But all these thoughts will drive me to nowhere if I cross my arms and sit down to cry. The question that surely is now crossing through your mind is: "What does |ngenius to save the world?". And the answer isn't so clear for me. I do the best I can on each situation I live, trying to encourage everybody to improve and find their illusions. Someone told me that the right way to get more is to give more.
About you, my little italian intelligence, I guess you don't think you're worse than ppl around you in the field of the force of will or whatever, 'cos your rational mind is rational enough to see the chance of an improvement, isn't it? It's a contradiction to have a rational and clever mind that just can see and do nothing in the fields you're talking about.
|ngenius (so tired today)
well |ng I don't get the point...we've discussed about this many many times....and it seems you'll never overcome that! If the rest aren't how you want, then a) leave them and go on searching b) accept them as they are....take it or leave it. There's no point on trying ppl see the way you see. I chose leave them in most of cases and in the rest I still have great friendships with some ppl that due to lack of education or misfortune of genetics they are not a my level. I don't get mad at them, just accept them and not complain...why??? becuase I know there are some ppl who are in a higher level than me and they accept me aswell.
and if you need to intaract with intelligent ppl keep searching...but don't try them to be as you. The ones that are living on a disese keep living that way because either they like it to be that way, they take profit of being like that, or simply the don't care much....they just follow their live not caring much on what future will bring. Challenges are made by oneself, if yours is to share intelligence with ppl then join clubs where are ppl trying to do the same. NO way in complaining, torturing yourself at home wondering why most ppl are stupid! You already know that, so move on!
At least you've find some intelligent blokes on the net and if not face to face, you know you can talk to them by mail or in this forums. You know I did the same....I squeezed intellingent (or amusing) chatters on IRC but nowadays I find IRC boring and somehow irritating so I tried this and actually found many ppl intelligent, may be not happy, but who said being intelligent must guide your steps towards happynes...may be just the contrary I fear!
fathervic (knowledge brings fear)
and if you need to intaract with intelligent ppl keep searching...but don't try them to be as you. The ones that are living on a disese keep living that way because either they like it to be that way, they take profit of being like that, or simply the don't care much....they just follow their live not caring much on what future will bring. Challenges are made by oneself, if yours is to share intelligence with ppl then join clubs where are ppl trying to do the same. NO way in complaining, torturing yourself at home wondering why most ppl are stupid! You already know that, so move on!
At least you've find some intelligent blokes on the net and if not face to face, you know you can talk to them by mail or in this forums. You know I did the same....I squeezed intellingent (or amusing) chatters on IRC but nowadays I find IRC boring and somehow irritating so I tried this and actually found many ppl intelligent, may be not happy, but who said being intelligent must guide your steps towards happynes...may be just the contrary I fear!
fathervic (knowledge brings fear)
Ok, that's true, I'll shut up. Let's talk about significant things, as someone who splitted with his mate.
|ngenius
|ngenius
I should be honest to behave in the right way acording with my morals. I wrote that my last post with an irritation caused by the words of my catalan partner, maybe 'cos he knows a bit better my desillusions, and I got his words by the wrong way (sth like "shut up and don't bother me"). I'm pretty sure that it wasn't his purpose, so I retract myself for these words of anger. Excuse me.
Tonight I watched Clerks on my computer, and I put my sight in a special part of the movie. The two main characters are talking about the life they're living, and Dante is complaining about his life. His work mate reply him sth like: "Shit off or go out from the W.C". And then, they start to argue about the incapability of the main character to break free on his life and do what he wants to, 'cos the change needs an effort.
Sometimes it's hard to believe in the words I use to say. I'm intelligent enough to know without any doubt that all can be changed and the life goes on keeping its surprises. But we are intelligent enough to know it's hard to stand up when nothing around you seems to support your ideas, when all seems to say you're wrong despite your optimism. The force of will and the intelligence show their presence when you don't give up.
I'll try to follow the steps, I'll try to make that effort that the main character of Clerks cannot do.
|ngenius ("The melodrama is like a second nature in your life, isn't it? All is more simply, just stand up and walk...")
Tonight I watched Clerks on my computer, and I put my sight in a special part of the movie. The two main characters are talking about the life they're living, and Dante is complaining about his life. His work mate reply him sth like: "Shit off or go out from the W.C". And then, they start to argue about the incapability of the main character to break free on his life and do what he wants to, 'cos the change needs an effort.
Sometimes it's hard to believe in the words I use to say. I'm intelligent enough to know without any doubt that all can be changed and the life goes on keeping its surprises. But we are intelligent enough to know it's hard to stand up when nothing around you seems to support your ideas, when all seems to say you're wrong despite your optimism. The force of will and the intelligence show their presence when you don't give up.
I'll try to follow the steps, I'll try to make that effort that the main character of Clerks cannot do.
|ngenius ("The melodrama is like a second nature in your life, isn't it? All is more simply, just stand up and walk...")
well of course I didn't want you to shut up.....I just wanted to show you that your speech deals still in the same way...."things can be changed-the fight will be won-keep on trying to change things" but really can't see that effort...I mean your effort is done to change things around you, not IN you, and may be (if everything have failed) you should open another front there...don't stop with the outter (and so unsuccesfull) one, but start to think that the world is not the only one that must change to suit your views of the perfect world.
You know I'm really different to you, and somehow I don't understand what moves you but at least I think that blaming the idiocy spread around won't help you...
I'm not trying to say the problem lays in you, I'm just saying that you can only find intelligent people, you cannot make intelligent people out of what once was a dumbass! you don't have that gift...yet!
You know I'm really different to you, and somehow I don't understand what moves you but at least I think that blaming the idiocy spread around won't help you...
I'm not trying to say the problem lays in you, I'm just saying that you can only find intelligent people, you cannot make intelligent people out of what once was a dumbass! you don't have that gift...yet!
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@|ngenius: in fact i said i know some friends above my level. anyway, the point here is the room for improvement: i know i have chances, but they are somewhat very far from what i'm looking for. they tend to get twisted and bitter, whereas i'm hoping for a way to prove i can be a better man inside some harmonic situation, a place where everybody ends up feeling better. wars are useless, and powergames are too.
i'm not surprised that you feel like you're not doing much to save the world, but i get the feeling you could start trying to do something more to save yourself. you seem to have a positive, optimistic streak in you - despite being somehow the reflective kind - so maybe it's time to go out and share it. a lot of the depressed and sick at heart might find that you're just the right medicine. you know, some of those cynics are intelligent, too. a few of them are good-looking.
rahvin.
i'm not surprised that you feel like you're not doing much to save the world, but i get the feeling you could start trying to do something more to save yourself. you seem to have a positive, optimistic streak in you - despite being somehow the reflective kind - so maybe it's time to go out and share it. a lot of the depressed and sick at heart might find that you're just the right medicine. you know, some of those cynics are intelligent, too. a few of them are good-looking.
rahvin.
Yeah, but the fact I know these things and believe right on them doesn't make easier the assimilation process of some situations. You know, our mind makes all more difficult, specially on these situations we don't have the power to change, specially on these situations the things depends on the ppl around you and their reactions (I'm talkin' about my parents, for instance). Anyway, that's a fact I'm not able or like to argue about here.
About these good-looking and intelligent ppl, I hope they're living not only in Italy.
|ngenius (who thinks Rahvin could be a better man)
About these good-looking and intelligent ppl, I hope they're living not only in Italy.
|ngenius (who thinks Rahvin could be a better man)
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@|ngenius: i don't know why you shouldn't be able to discuss the matter further, but it's obvious that noone will push you if you don't feel like it.
as far as what i understand from your latest lines, i can tell you i do agree that frustration abounds when you see that the outside world seems to shy away from what you think you have to offer, but i still reckon it's better this way than to feel you hold the seeds of apathy in yourself. out of thousands of ppl who might just shun your attempts at getting them involved into something worthwhile (be it your whole life or whatever), there will be precious few whose instincts tell them they might stand by your side, someway. up to a point, i think we have to accept that the picture is never perfect: friends and parents and lovers ebb in and out of sight, some get lost, others fail us or we fail them. some relationships get quite complex pretty soon and at some point you have next to no way of telling whether something will turn out for good or for not-so-good in the end (and it's not as if we see the end that clearly, come to think of it). however, i for one appreciate it so much more when a sharp mind and an accurate intelligence pierce through reality without becoming misanthropic or pessimistic: i see you as a very good example of something of the sort, a clever thinker that manages nonetheless to keep a happy, reassuring view towards the world. i'm pretty sure you're entitled to hold very high hopes: judging from humble experience, such a mindframe kinda pays off in the end, in terms of general love and caring.
rahvin. (who thinks it would surely take some effort for rahvin to be worse )
as far as what i understand from your latest lines, i can tell you i do agree that frustration abounds when you see that the outside world seems to shy away from what you think you have to offer, but i still reckon it's better this way than to feel you hold the seeds of apathy in yourself. out of thousands of ppl who might just shun your attempts at getting them involved into something worthwhile (be it your whole life or whatever), there will be precious few whose instincts tell them they might stand by your side, someway. up to a point, i think we have to accept that the picture is never perfect: friends and parents and lovers ebb in and out of sight, some get lost, others fail us or we fail them. some relationships get quite complex pretty soon and at some point you have next to no way of telling whether something will turn out for good or for not-so-good in the end (and it's not as if we see the end that clearly, come to think of it). however, i for one appreciate it so much more when a sharp mind and an accurate intelligence pierce through reality without becoming misanthropic or pessimistic: i see you as a very good example of something of the sort, a clever thinker that manages nonetheless to keep a happy, reassuring view towards the world. i'm pretty sure you're entitled to hold very high hopes: judging from humble experience, such a mindframe kinda pays off in the end, in terms of general love and caring.
rahvin. (who thinks it would surely take some effort for rahvin to be worse
)
Ooook, let's attack the issue. The fact is that nowadays I don't like to talk 'bout a problem I talked for years, a problem I know perfectly, a problem that has the pain in its own solutions and my intelligence can control but my heart sometimes suffers.
Obviously, my stance is an open-minded stance, trying to analyze the whole wide range of possibilities. Trying to do the best by my side, and as you know so well, trying to give my support. Well, I think it's the best and more objective way.
And then, there's just one thing left to do: walk. I only need to see some results when I feel down, to get force enough to go on.
Nothing more. My particular case is my particular fight, and all those years talking clearly didn't make me a significant service, so I realize this is the time to shut up and the right time for the action.
|ngenius (worse? Rahvin? That's impossible. Change the direction of the thread, are there ppl alive around here??)
Obviously, my stance is an open-minded stance, trying to analyze the whole wide range of possibilities. Trying to do the best by my side, and as you know so well, trying to give my support. Well, I think it's the best and more objective way.
And then, there's just one thing left to do: walk. I only need to see some results when I feel down, to get force enough to go on.
Nothing more. My particular case is my particular fight, and all those years talking clearly didn't make me a significant service, so I realize this is the time to shut up and the right time for the action.
|ngenius (worse? Rahvin? That's impossible. Change the direction of the thread, are there ppl alive around here??)
mmmmmmmmmnhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I love this thread too much, and actually don't want to see it die...even actually I know feeeew ppl are still reading this lines
but now that our |ng wants to stay quiet (and I extremely respect that! you know it) I'll come with one dream I have...well it's somehow my new plan for future...
Ok, you all guessed it right, I found and new little being that makes my heart tick again...and well all my plans are getting to leave to Sweden once I finish the degree. I have two jobs now, but I can get rid of them easily (actually it was already in mind to stop them once I got the degree).
Of course I'd go there with her. I know it's quite premature, but still I feel like giving the deepest step I've ever done. I'm risking (well I don't feel "risk" is the word anyway) here, I'm leaving everything I have here for one...there's still a long way of two years to go, but this summer I'll start with Swedish lessons and I'll try to make this dream come true. I've never been so excited about a thing in my life....and well wanted to let you know a bit on what's happening on melon's head/heart
fathervic (opening, once again!!!!!)
but now that our |ng wants to stay quiet (and I extremely respect that! you know it) I'll come with one dream I have...well it's somehow my new plan for future...
Ok, you all guessed it right, I found and new little being that makes my heart tick again...and well all my plans are getting to leave to Sweden once I finish the degree. I have two jobs now, but I can get rid of them easily (actually it was already in mind to stop them once I got the degree).
Of course I'd go there with her. I know it's quite premature, but still I feel like giving the deepest step I've ever done. I'm risking (well I don't feel "risk" is the word anyway) here, I'm leaving everything I have here for one...there's still a long way of two years to go, but this summer I'll start with Swedish lessons and I'll try to make this dream come true. I've never been so excited about a thing in my life....and well wanted to let you know a bit on what's happening on melon's head/heart
fathervic (opening, once again!!!!!)
all i can say is DO IT. i have considered leaving the country, but somehow don't got the guts to do so... but then again i think this would enrich my life so much that i'd be a fool if i'd not go. and since you have a better reason than i have, what are you waiting for?
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