We all live dreaming, so... post here your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams!

[Melancholia]

terria@
Ich kann (ein bisschen) Deutsch Bisschen oder viel,i won't be the one who will judge it,at least people can understand whay i say
Germany would be my 2nd/3rd alternative.I have been there once,that was last Christmas.I have only seen Hamburg,L(where is my umlaut when i need them?)ubeck and some areas around,but i had a wonderful time and i at least those places i went rule for sure :hotjump:

|ngenius: not really,and btw this is the first time i see someone call Thessaloniki/Salonica "tesalonica"

 

[Malaclypse]

interesting how many of you speak german... i actually thought this language isn't commonly taught in other countries apart from the benelux states. we should start some german threads

 

[|ngenius]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Tesalonica is the spanish name of that city in Greece. PPP. Well, the explanation is easy: @tlantis is living inside her skin, Rahvin lives up above... I'm livin' changing my location around the world.

 

[Melancholia]

VultureCulture@ I think German is the second "biggest" foreign language here in Greece and there are also many people around who learn Spanish.....

|ngenius@ crazy man

 

[FatherVic]

shame on me, I'm three days out of my room and loose the chance for one of the greatest threads here....
I took me a lot of time to read (re-read) and damp myself with the content of the posts!!!!
I can't answer all of your posts, even I'd love it, since this is a big haven for me. Collecting thoughts and feelings from everyone, one makes the idea of where one is, and where is to aim!
I wanted to point some little thing about all the things (even the rahvin/atlantis and the vulture/|ngenius where amazing string_posts)
@mel thanx for your kind words, |ngenius knows me well. Yeap, I know someday "another" soulmate (I already had one) will suddenly appear but now I don't feel like having one, I know you all understand this
@|ngenius: I'm not that sure. Yeap I've known how it is to be deeply loved and given everything that a person can give to another, but that makes it much worse when you lose it than have never had it. The void is different, the emptiness (IMHO) is much deeper. Having the key of happiness in your hands and having to leave it behind it's a burden as no_having_had it in your hands will ever be. Even my memories are gorgeous and wonderful, the feeling of "THE_END" is worse than I ever expected.
I went on a little vacation, a lonely trip to visit some great friends. I had a great time, but it was so strange not having her beside me as in the past is worse than having kept my ass in my home!
Knowing that just one year I was sightseing hugging her in San Sebastian and now she's gone is one of the worst thing I have to face. So the effect of this trip has been just the other way round, and now I'm even more down than when I left....
But |ngenius is more intelligent than he shows here, so may be there's a happy end out of this, who knows....now keep sharing keep sharing, I'll be here to reply, no more trips for now, not untill summer I guess, when I go to Castellón again and to Wacken (my 4th wacken so long )

 

[|ngenius]

We talked 'bout many things here, 'bout many problems, many dreams, and many thoughts. I can see many ppl with similar problems, I can see ppl tired and sometimes deprived of their courage and forces. I'm afraid to live alone, and I'm feelig alone enough to rest without forces waiting for something that only I can provoke. So...

@Everybody: I'm looking or waiting for courage to do things that everybody things are so hard and unnecesary (like travel to find my beloved passion I can't find here, or until passion finds me).

@FatherVic: Take the time you need, I can wait and I'll stay near you although you don't need me. But don't let your mind to control your fate, or play with ya (and don't let me to advice ya so much, hehe), and STOP fighting with yourself.

And I'm sure you never change your love years for some "dark tranquillity" in your own. (O no?)

Finally, I must tell you that (despite you don't know it) your trip to Segovia isn't the last until Machina 2002!!! You will travel with me to Valencia soon. I promise it.

@Everybody (again): Sometimes ppl says "That's wrong, you're wrong, all in your life is wrong", then... think 'bout and let it out. They can't feel as you, and they don't live your life. Something necessary to you perhaps is absolutely unnnecesary to the world... and not bad at all. Reach your OWN dreams, included in unusual ways.

 

[TeddyBear]

aw...don't start talking 'bout love and all that please, it makes me sigh :_)

@FatherVic just to wish you luck with any future relationships (it's bloody hard) and honestly, I don't think something such as a soulmate really exists, everybody is human and has limits when giving or taking, you can never ever depend entirely on someone basing yourself on that he is your soulmate and he will never let you down. Well, it's my opinion, maybe I should shake hands with the world someday and try seeing things a bit more positive hahaha. Ah, and if you ever need a mate for anything, you know who I am (I think the nickname says it all xP) and where to find me!

@|ngenius, my fruitcake, no need for travelling to find your beloved passion, come on, things are not so hard when you learn how to understand people and manage to see the good sides of every human being you meet. I know not everybody is that way, but the majority is. And has anyone reached a dream through an usual method? mate, that doesn't exist! the only way to reach your dreams is to let things flow the way they must, it's something you can't control, wether you like or not, but to be honest, it's the best way! (and the funniest, but anyway, life is fun ain't it?...or was it shit?...ohh...damn antibiotics...)

 

[rahvin]

i'm not inclined to think soulmates exist either.

first off, people mostly link the thought of finding their soulmate to every sort of 'hand of fate' assumptions: we had to meet, it was written in the stars and whatnots. as it should be clear by my not-so-hidden sarcasm, i simply don't believe this. we meet every kind of people in every kind of situation: sooner or later we're bound to stumble into someone with the attitude, looks and features we like the most by sheer statistics. then emotions and dedications do the rest. besides, the 'had to' clause might as well justify not only chance meetings, but also breaking ups, denials, family and kids, whatever. this would make 'fate' quite a mechanic and uninspiring chain of events, very different from what we wanted to state in the first place, i.e., that destiny bent and shaped reality just to let us meet our beloved one.

secondly, even in the best, most long-lasting relationships we have to cope with failure very often. failure in communication, in mutual understanding, in sharing the same goals. it is highly unlikely (and limiting) that the completion of our souls will actually be one other person. a complex of circumstances and relationship usually does the trick of defining how and who we are.

@fathervic: pain will subside (then probably come again in currents ), you'll end up reconsidering past and present events in some new light. that doesn't mean they will look good, just... different. perhaps in time all this 'mass understanding' will make you feel better, stronger, something. my best wishes anyway.

rahvin.

 

[atlantis]

I feel the last posts close enough to my current position, I can't help it, have to write something...

@fathervic- I perfectly know how does it feel a breakup after such a long time, maybe for I am living it. Sometimes you just come around some new situations that make you understand it's time to pass over, that any good reason you can have not to split off is nothing if compared to the good reasons to do it.
The trouble, but this is my (and not just mine, eh, rahve?) point of view, it's not the break-up itself, but its unavoidableness. More than 20 years in this fucking useless world taught me that nothing is built to last (eheh), so figure love out!
Another relationship is gonna come, then another and another, for good (maybe and hopefully)..but they are going to be just another chapter in a badtime story, circles made to be here and disappear again.
I'm kinda sick of it all, beginning something new, being glad for it, enjoy it, trusting (rarely, I'm lucky after all) that it could last more than my everchianging mood & fickleness, than find out I'm starting to feed up, than giving it up and beginning again.
Of course I feel some loss, I miss the presence of someone beside, eventhough I want to attempt a life alone, and join the carefree single existence for a while. I know some people that just can't go on without someone close, collecting relationships with no love and much companionship- dear God, I'm still young, I don't need any dog.
Maybe I am much better than you, now...it takes time.
But life goes on, with much darkness and a little hope.


@rahvin: No fate, isn't it?
Ok, so I wonder...are you _that_ sure life is what you make it?
Failure is comunication, you know i agree, it's the only way to see new thing and experience it....still I wonder, anyway, what is going to be left?

 

[|ngenius]

@TeddyBear (aren't you the bear of Rahvin? ) Our opinions couldn't be more differents. I suppose Master Melon will answer ya, but I can say he's a man that never needed to feel the presence of anyone beside him, including his girl-friend, but I suppose like you, he can't live alone. And I like to feel the love of ppl around me and my romantic feelings need some reciprocal feelings, but I can live and fight without them just to FIND THEM. Is one of my hardest goals. (By the way: I know who you are, my english-irish-catalan drummer, hehehehehe)

I know the passion could live everywhere, including near me despite I can't see it. But it's better try to find by ourselves than simply wait for the "fate" to bring us it. If you need a hot weather, you can wait for years the weather change by itself, or travel to find hotest places (I'm not talkin' about sex now! ). So, with the ppl happens the same. I understand ppl here, but I cannot stay with them if they don't give me what I need and other foreing ppl can do.

@tlantis: The darkness appears only when our heart feels pain, and I can see your changing mood when you mixing words of hope with disappointing words.The hope is one of the best feelings in life.

Finally,I don't use the word "fate" as "destiny", for me "fate" could be "the forces or reactions in the world that not depends on you" (like the other ppl reactions, etc.)

 

[Malveaux]

This is completely out of topic, but has to do with the thread's title...
today I was in the university's library (my brain's almost melted after 200 pages of japanese literature ) but as I was there, there was another student, a girl, that was speaking in a perfectly fluent Japanese with Asai sensei... argh, I felt SUCH A TREMENDOUS ENVY!!
It takes for me hours to write a simple letter because I have to look for so many words, and that girl was FLUENTLY USING THE ONORIFIC FORM . That's not right... I'm so poor at japanese ...

Well, to give an example of how difficult the keigo (onorific language) -Sanae-san correct me if I make an error- to say 'eat' in the normal form you say 'taberu', in the onorific 'meshi agaru'. Normal verbs require an o- before the verb and a -ni naru at the end of it. 'kaku' for writing becomes 'okaki ni naru'. Not easy to remember whenever you have to use it. Grrr.. but there will be the day ...

 

[FatherVic]

ehmmm thanx for taking some time to drop a line! (or many )
@|ngenius: thanx for your comprehension, I know how hard is for you to understand me, but it's they way it goes!

@rahvin: a big OK to everything but a thing, I use the word soulmate in order to focus my point of view. I know there's no soulmate, or at least not ONE soulmate, but when talking about that I just mean that is the one that from the ones I know best suits to me. Not the cosmic partner, but not a statistic delivery if you get what I mean...

@lantis: Oh holyshit, you've got the point. But at the moment I am, even I'm concerned that another one will come, I don't want it to come. As you say you want to stay alone, so do I. At least for some time. And it's sad to assume (as you've done) that nothing is built to last, it's a good name for a song rolleyes: ) but actually not for me. I don't want "tries" I want something I could rely and trust deeply, someone to give my heart and don't worry anymore about the patches I'm sticking to my wounds!!!
I know it'll be hard, that's why I need some time to fix my thoughts and feelings and reset my operative system so the system resources get back to 100%!!!!

@teddybear: damn!!!!! this is getting kinda familiar...hope you get better en let your hair longer!

@melveaux: don't worry, some day you'll get it....and for the writing, I'll try to remember

 

[TeddyBear]

@|ngenius, most people use the all-too-vague term of "necessity" within their self descriptions of what is the "promised land" (or so called Happiness), I think that nobody needs 90% of the things that they find essential to be happy, it's usually a way of building up over other people, and feel confident enough to look at them over your shoulder. Happiness is not that way, you can't be happy by relying on the good/bad status of somebody you envy's life, and that is what explains the too common use of the necessity term. Usually for the people who claim to be happy relying on feeling "higher" than someone else (well, they are the only ones who know the truth), suddenly things turn around for them, and they are stuck in misery again. That is not happiness for me, it's just a simple raising of egocentricity as you feel "better" than the rest. A clear example is mmmmmh... breast operation? tons of women feel "happy" after a breast operation, as they can assume that people will think they are better than the rest with absolute confidence (or that is what they think hahah) and of course, breast operation is claimed as a basic necessity for their happiness therapy...until someone with more breast comes into their lives, then they are unhappy again. Real happiness is talking big words, and to feel happy you just have to be happy, for no reason at all, it's just something that one day comes, and maybe one day goes away, nothing can cause it, it's just a feeling with no explanation at all, and that doesn't need it.
(well, i've moved a bit off the subject with this one, but it's what i felt like writing, damn antibiotics...)
Cheers!

 

[AtTheGates2099]

Originally posted by |ngenius
Hi, there. Some of you, my dear readers, know me as a"paranoic-crazy-sexual obsessed" man,

Damn, that actually kinda sounds like me too

 

[|ngenius]

Good point, my red-haired friend TeddyBear. I like so much the tone of this thread 'cos nobody posted messages expressing sadness for losing material things, they posted hopeless messages, they expressed their feelings and their dreams directly from the heart. That's great, and makes me think the world can get the right direction again, we can initializate the chain (somebody of you perhaps understand that), 'cos there are ppl thinking in something more than themselves.

 

[|ngenius]

I talked about it few months ago with FatherMelon, with a bright in our eyes, believing we can change the world. The origin of that was the book called "Pay It Forward" (you can show the film with the same name, with the boy of the "Sixth Sense" as one of the main char.). I thought about the idea of improve the world in every aspect of its reality before show the film for the first time, the wish of help everybody, my extreme pity, my romantic feelings...

And some movies like Dead Poets Society or Pay It Forward reforced that idea in me. I'll initialize the chain, I believe it can works...

 

[FatherVic]

ehhmmm I believe the chain worths being proven, but I think someday (and not too long) somebody will break the chain complaining that his/her favour wasn't what he/she expected. Or complaining that he can't find anybody to help and that sort of shit. For 100 of "pure" (even I think pureness these days is leaning towards sci-fi) hearts there are 10000 of rotten ones...

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by atlantis
I feel the last posts close enough to my current position, I can't help it, have to write something...

shocking, i would never have thought...

Originally posted by atlantis
The trouble, but this is my (and not just mine, eh, rahve?) point of view, it's not the break-up itself, but its unavoidableness. More than 20 years in this fucking useless world taught me that nothing is built to last (eheh), so figure love out!

now, now... i want to be extremely clear that atlantis and i here are talking about ourselves, not the rest of you folks. i'm happy to hear that fathervic just needs someone to spend his whole lifetime with, because i suppose that's the way it should be. i wouldn't like that, ok, but i sure would like to want that

Originally posted by atlantis
I'm kinda sick of it all, beginning something new, being glad for it, enjoy it, trusting (rarely, I'm lucky after all) that it could last more than my everchianging mood & fickleness, than find out I'm starting to feed up, than giving it up and beginning again.

i'm sick, too, and that's why i'm not going to do that again. i feel like i'm utterly unable to begin something new and like it, and i'm sure not going to go through the motions just to pass some time. but, as i said, it's not the wheel of fate. it's me and probably you too. it's not fathervic. he's going to be happy. we wish and foresee that.

Originally posted by atlantis
@rahvin: No fate, isn't it?
Ok, so I wonder...are you _that_ sure life is what you make it?

i won't support the statement that fate does not exist. frankly, i'm in no position to tell (and so are you, i reckon).
but i do think that preordained vs. free will is a completely irrelevant matter the way most of you fatalists put it. i don't give a single flaming spit if my every single action is decided by undefined, unknown mysterious forces, because, hey, it has no visible effect at all in my life. ok, i could wake up in the morning and endlessly ponder about the powers-that-be picking the precise time of my waking and sleeping hours, my death, everything. and still, i'm going to have to dress up and go to work (unless i plan to explain at length the omnipotence of the hand of fate to my boss), be it destiny's will or my own. everyday's problems still stay, and deep, philosophical matters stay untouched, either. i see those people who always talk about how things 'have to be' to be dreamers or, worse, liars in search of alibis. i have none, i take full responsibility for not meeting that damned soulmate.

and i need my chemicals, i need your chemicals (melancholia should know that )

rahvin.

 

[Melancholia]

of course she knows! it's Diary of Dreams

I keep reading this wonderful thread,but sadly and stupidly enough,I have nothing really interesting to write

 

[FatherVic]

it's not fathervic. he's going to be happy. we wish and foresee that.

hahaha hope that too, but foreseeing is what anybody could do with more or less certainty, but normally failing.
I can't imagine you (nor atlantis) trying to deny happiness just because of previous experiences didn't end gladly. (or at lest because they simply ended)
You're so true about the philosophical questions in our heads. I normally can't stand more than 1 hour thinking on them. I get depressed each time my mind happens to reckon about the meaning of life and where are we headind!!! I can't help it.
But I'm not awaiting for the right to come, I just seem to know that someone will step one day and say "hey I'm here"...that's what I've been told in movies, and still believe in them
and I'm 100% sure one day that will happen to you too. It's not an extension from a wish, it's an extension of my own way too see life. I'm one of the most asocial guy on earth, but still I think I could never end my life alone, each morning, asking myself why I happened to do wrong, and having not had a child where to pour part of me...leaving a tiny mark from me on this planet and seeing it grow independant to me *sigh*
well as I told, I can't help it, I must stop thinking these things, or I'll go on a shamefull mood...
take care my friends