What if...

[CiG]

What if tomorrow you were approached by some cinema bankrollers to make a film of your own, you have no experience to speak of in the film industry (or maybe you do irl), they tell you that basically money is no object and to go ahead and cast it...

What kind of film would you make? Who would act in it? What about the script? Any agenda political or otherwise to be threaded through it? Would you direct it yourself? If you did who would produce it? What about cinematography and special effects teams?

Post your film ideas! Go into as much or as little detail as you like.

 

[Elric of Melniboné]

I would have to make some type of dark fantasy story. I'd probably seek some inspiration from Tolkien, Moorcock and Lieber in addition to folklore and mythology.

As for who I would want in my film, I think that I would try to seek out less famous actors who don't have big time experience but have talent. I feel like it's easier to sell a character to an audience as authentic when they won't remind someone of their other famous appearances.

 

[Dak]

A movie about my life.

 

[CiG]

A movie about my life.

Porn doesn't count.

As for who I would want in my film, I think that I would try to seek out less famous actors who don't have big time experience but have talent. I feel like it's easier to sell a character to an audience as authentic when they won't remind someone of their other famous appearances.

An alternative to this is to take actors with basically dead careers and revive them/reinvent them. An idea that has always intrigued me.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

I thought of this a bunch of times and almost scared someone would take my idea and make a better story. Obviously not you guys but a lurker or something. Ex actress here.

 

[Dak]

Porn doesn't count.

Oh you <3.

 

[Internally Deformed]

Fleshcop. It's a film about a damaged android policeman who gets patched up with human body parts and sent back to patrol the streets.

 

[CiG]

Fleshcop. It's a film about a damaged android policeman who gets patched up with human body parts and sent back to patrol the streets.

Ha!

Who would be Fleshcop?

 

[Internally Deformed]

Vin Diesel.

 

[CiG]

Sounds like you have a hit.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

I'd do something with Eric Andre. It'd def be fun

 

[arg]

Title: Call of the Rim

Synopsis: A handsome, successful young man seems to have it all. But he hides a dark secret. He is addicted to analingus. Follow his descent into depravity, insanity and ultimately... redemption (albeit not a pretty one). A film both hyperrealistic and surrealistic, featuring intense sex scenes and a psychedelic dream sequence of endless puckering and gaping buttholes.

Starring: Leo diCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Alicia Vikander, a whole bunch of eastern european prostitutes, Morgan Freeman as the wise bartender and Ken Jeong as the buddy/pimp.

Directed by Martin Scorsese, Produced by Steven Spielberg, Special Effects by Industrial Light and Magic.

Theme song by Adele: "Flick of the Tongue"

 

[The Butt]

I'd probably make a Star Trek movie tbh. Cast me and my buds as the senior crew. Script would need some time to think of, but it would definitely not be an action movie. Slow-paced and cerebral. TNG/VOY era.

 

[Vilden]

Probably a real high budget dark as fuck lovecraft movie set in the 20s with a modern film noir feel. It would in the lovecraft spirit have as little actual monsters as possible and more atmosphere and insinuations about horrors. Probably a movie version of Shadow Over Innsmouth if I would choose an already made story.

If I could choose as would make it a (not too long) TV-series instead though. I think it would work well with a slower pacing and less action packed. There would be alot of background/nature/enviorment shots. Kind of a darker horror version of twin peaks with more rain.

 

[tagradh]

Even though I know it'd be a total failure I'd like to adapt Dan Simmon's Hyperion. Or Neuromancer. Or Steel Beach.

Otherwise, some sorta near future (c. 2080) semi-dystopian political science fiction (throw in significant climate change, increased pollution, big advances in biotechnology, SEXBOTS, automation of most jobs, political instability, domestic violence, substance abuse) that starts with a POV (so it's bobbing around a little) shot looking outa the train window (sat in a backwards facing seat) as it pulls outa Waterloo station (sunsetty sorta time in late August so everything is smoggy and yellow and a little rain). With music like this


Probably rip off films like Blade Runner, Children of Men and Nil By Mouth and take a load of ideas from books like The Windup Girl.

 

[Krow]

A fairly tall redneck guy into voodoo, dug into a mountain side supports himself by making moonshine. Teenagers go into the woods for vacation. They find his stills while he's in town selling, with a bunch of weird shit like dried out cats hanging around it and decide to steal the moonshine and destroy his shit.

While the kids are fucking (all females in the film need to agree to be topless) and doing drugs and getting drunk off his moonshine he hunts them down one by one and graphically mutilates them for his voodoo rituals. He also graphically rapes one of the female throw away characters before locking her in a secret room.

At some point they find a tape recorder in his shack but when they try to listen to a strange message he bursts into the room and smashes it in the struggle.

Just as the remaining teenagers overpower him and deal the finishing blow they find out his black magic is real and he's invulnerable. In their attempt to escape they find his flesh bound "voodoo spell book" the Necronomicon. It's then revealed to them that their friends are still alive, but disfigured and possessed by Candarian demons. In a bloody finale they must butcher their friends to escape. The two remaining characters escape to their vehicle and drive away. As they're driving across the mountains an evil force rushes their car and smashes it through the guardrail and off the side of the mountain.

Cut to months later, the raped girl is cradling a baby with a sharp tail laughing manically, much to the man's black tooth grinned delight.

Soundtrack needs to be mostly bluegrass, with heavy metal sprinkled in when bad shit is going on. Villain plucks a banjo when he's bored. Gore and nudity levels need to be extremely high and there needs to be a bit of dark humor throughout. Movie needs to look very gritty/dirty throughout.

 

[CiG]

Amazing. Had me 100% until the soundtrack, I've always preferred composed non-rock music in films. I like the bluegrass idea though, but I imagined bluegrass mixed with Carpenter-esque sounds.

What would the antagonist look like?

 

[Krow]

I was thinking of a Goblin flair when shit was going down for whatever thats worth.

Also bad guy is basically redneck version of Big Boss from Root.

 

[CiG]

This idea needs to come into being.

 

[The Butt]

Me and my buds were really drunk one night and decided we should write a script for a movie about a government experiment with artificially-enlarged mosquitos gone wrong. These giant hulking mosquitos escape and terrorize cities and towns. It would be an 80s-ish action kinda flick with lots of cheesy one-liners; such as the main protagonist killing one of the giant mosquitos, then saying, as the camera zooms in on his face, "well doesn't that just suck". It'd be grand.