What's the most horrible thing you have ever done?

[MFJ]

when i have a kid, i'm going to sit him down right about when he hits junior high and say "look, i want to have a good relationship with you... i'm a nice guy. still, if you ever put disgrace to this family name, i will fucking kill you and throw you in a dumpster next to walmart. keep your head together and we'll smoke a joint some day when you move away. keep it real, i'm out."

 

[Claws of Perdition]

no kids for me, one because i dont have to have that conversation and wont have to share my weed with my son.

 

[Krilons Resa]

i'm out."

Deadbeat.

 

[Evil?]

no kids for me, one because i dont have to have that conversation and wont have to share my weed with my son.

 

[MFJ]

Deadbeat.

hahahahahaha

 

[Demilich]

when i have a kid, i'm going to sit him down right about when he hits junior high and say "look, i want to have a good relationship with you... i'm a nice guy. still, if you ever put disgrace to this family name, i will fucking kill you and throw you in a dumpster next to walmart. keep your head together and we'll smoke a joint some day when you move away. keep it real, i'm out."

for the record, i'm totally against this style of parenting. "disgrace to the family name"? what kind of utter bullshit is that?

 

[MFJ]

for the record, i'm totally against this style of parenting. "disgrace to the family name"? what kind of utter bullshit is that?

for the record, i totally hope everyone realizes that that was a joke

i know you all do. i hope you all do.

 

[Demilich]

excellent! for some reason you seemed quite serious.

 

[Claws of Perdition]

you forgot to put a or a at the end so it was a serious post and must be taken seriously down to every last letter..

 

[Demilich]

I think I expect jokes to either be a) blatantly obvious or b) short and to the point

i guess i just haven't spent enough time getting to know Mr. Johnson (haha)

 

[MFJ]

max johnson doesn't fuck around with crazy smiley faces and whatnot

 

[Demilich]

drugs are bad, mmmkay?

 

[MajestikMøøse]

you god damn stoners

 

[Guthrum]

What, did you not laugh for a week or something?

Negative. I'm afraid it involves a black chick.

Also, if I ever have a kid, his name will be Frederik Andrew Guthrie. That way, his initials will be F.A.G.

 

[skeptik]

I wish Strom Thurmond was still alive so he could post in this thread.

 

[dorian gray]

Ok, I read the entire thread. You guys are assholes. The only two stories I have are:
1) I was picked on by one, maybe two guys, from elementary on through maybe 9th grade. There was no patricular reason other than that I was smart and happened to live in a neighborhood where all the poor kids lived but I had awesome bikes and stuff of that nature. So the hoodlums hated me. Anyway, nothing bad ever happened to me except I got punched in the back one time while walking home. We also had lockers next to each other so the dude would reach in and steal my shit and sometimes knock my books outta my hand. No big deal. Anyway, the best part is he died right after high school in a flaming disaster of a car accident - he wasn't driving which made it even better.

2) My older brother got picked on when he was in high school I guess, because one night we were both driving our cars home from some party, drunk as hell, and we pulled into a gas station. He got out and walked up to my car and said, "watch this!" and he turned towards this guy coming out of the store and went, "HEY! MOTHERFUCKER!". At this point in his life, he was 5'10" 300 pounds of death and destruction and the guy jumped into a car so fast he left a shoe behind. My bro picked up the shoe, threw it on the roof and came back and said, "yeah, that guy used to pick on me, believe it or not."

Not very good stories I know, but I was obviously a pretty good kid.

 

[dorian gray]

An interesting coincidence: I was going to post something on page 1 that I did a few years ago but decided a written record of it could get me into trouble that I don't need. Let's just say it was something that married people aren't supposed to do.
Anyway, strangely, out of the blue, my friend emails me and said someone told her a "nasty rumor" about me. It can only be one thing. I've been wondering if I should get to the bottom of it or leave it be. It was years ago.

So, yeah, that's probably the most horrible thing I've ever done.

 

[Demilich]

I wish Strom Thurmond was still alive so he could post in this thread.

did you see the thing in the news recently about how his relatives owned a slave who is the great-great grandfather of that black politician whose name i can't remember?

 

[Demilich]

Let's just say it was something that married people aren't supposed to do.

You do realize that you have to tell us now!

 

[Krilons Resa]

2) My older brother got picked on when he was in high school I guess, because one night we were both driving our cars home from some party, drunk as hell, and we pulled into a gas station. He got out and walked up to my car and said, "watch this!" and he turned towards this guy coming out of the store and went, "HEY! MOTHERFUCKER!". At this point in his life, he was 5'10" 300 pounds of death and destruction and the guy jumped into a car so fast he left a shoe behind. My bro picked up the shoe, threw it on the roof and came back and said, "yeah, that guy used to pick on me, believe it or not."

HAHA, That rules.