i wrote this a couple of years ago :
The Finn Who Couldn't Win
Har, Har, from love was he so far.
Traversing the tundra of Northern Finland
without a car.
Met a Lapp, did he, a dame on skiis
Cooking turnip casserole, not so easy to please.
"Kiitos, my dear, for the food I shall repay.
What sort of Suomi game then, shall we pay?"
The young man did inquire, whilst straddling the fire,
Yet did his face flush beet red
When he saw she'd gone to bed.
"Spurn me, maiden cold and foul,
And you'll see that I Suomi.
Take the time to get to know me."
He quoth, as near to an oath
as the dapper lad had ever uttered,
though this time it was actually muttered.
"Very well, good Finn,
To my tent come in.
Ain't no Indian teepee.
We have a pit for peepee.
Knock thrice on my door of leather,
softly as a feather,
And when the Northern lights die,
with me, a Lapp maiden, shalt thou lie."
Hands a-tremble, our hero crept
So nervously, he nearly wept
to the tent of the girl
with whom he sought to curl.
Grace be damned, he tore back the wall
of the tent, about him which did fall
and in place of a girl asleep
did the Finn espy a sheep!