chat, feelings, and random discussion thread
- Thread starter La Rocque
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Kovenant84
T-369 days
And this is why I regret leaving for long periods of time and then coming back.
Though I despise the comment, I find a WoW forum favorite springs to mind in this case - "Wall of text crits Kov for 1000000 dmg. Kov dies."
More constructive post from moi once I've read through everything.
~kov. (blrglrglrglrgrlrrgrlrrgrrgrgr...) (@work)
Though I despise the comment, I find a WoW forum favorite springs to mind in this case - "Wall of text crits Kov for 1000000 dmg. Kov dies."
More constructive post from moi once I've read through everything.
~kov. (blrglrglrglrgrlrrgrlrrgrrgrgr...) (@work)
rahvin
keeper of the flame
Villain said:
I stopped before replying to this, before, because it's probably the statement/question I found the trickiest to reply to. On the one hand, the feeling as you describe it does not exist: perfect emotional closeness is simply out of reach, a God-like state I really don't think mankind is allowed even when turning inwards and trying to reach it with the self. Still, it's probably what I find myself striving for the most, in a relationship that's going smoothly... getting closer and closer and closer emotionally until... I don't know. Something happens.
So... for me the kick is yearning for it, even taking into account its paradoxical impossibility. I ache for it and accept that it's a mere ideal after all. It's a rather pleasant sensation, so personally I wouldn't file it under the "reasons not to", when it comes to romantic relationships.
No, that sounds very cold and sterile. You don't strive for intimacy because it's neat to solve the puzzle of someone's personality. Or, if you do, I wouldn't call it love.
Sex? Well, yeah, I'll take that... A housemaid??...
Please change your source for porn right this instant.
Actually, most people seriously committed in a relationship will tell you that the sex in their lives is connected and enhanced by the way they feel about their significant other. I understand that pure sex is something you do for the fun, and taking pleasure from the acrobatic-circus quality of it (or, if you're on the Internet, from ejaculating upon hearing someone mention the word vagina). The added bonus of having sex with someone you love is supposed to be the increased feeling of intimacy and the idea that what you're doing is not merely a physical escapade, but a way to express emotions by way of physical sensations.
If I expressed the above with less subjectivity than earlier in this post, it's not because I disagree. But when it comes to sex (or food, or something equally primal in nature) you can never be completely sure of your motivations, or what lies underneath. I don't like the "it's nothing but instincts so leave me five minutes alone with this here raccoon and I'll show you" explanation, and yet sweeping the beast within under the carpet is equally absurd: nobody will convince me that penetrating your girlfriend in every orifice for 40 minutes straight is a way of showing her how much you'd like her to wear that ring. Unless it's nothing but that ring. But I digress.
The bottom line is that I simply don't feel a strong enough bond of companionship tying me to my friends, to make me forego the opportunity to create a stronger one with a girl.
I don't need a significant other in the sense that I would die or write gothic poetry without. I don't look for the sacrifices I would (could, will) make as a sign that I'm in love, I merely accept that to get to stronger bonds - not just with someone you're romantically involved with - one has to try harder; therefore, the strongest bond is likely to require that I try the hardest. I certainly hope "the hardest" is not, say, sitting by a hospital bed watching my still young wife die of cancer.
But, see, if I add love to the relationship I'm assuming you want to do all of the above, because this is part of the definition we're using. We're postulating that you both feel pleasure in doing these things, wich automatically means they're not a burden. Likewise, if they are a burden, then your relationship just doesn't have that added value (or element, if we want to remain neutral).
You don't need to. Let me package this into a nice little (unlikely) bundle: IF you are naturally often aware of each other's emotions, and IF you're willing to make the POSSIBLE sacrifices you might have to do so your relationship doesn't fail, then you might feel you WANT NOTHING BUT plan a future together.
The contract that you sign is the result of observation about how much you get along and whether the circumstances of the world are favorable or you're willing to overcome them to continue dating each other, not the condition that makes all of this happen, rather painfully for all those involved.
Edit: @plintus, hope my vivid descriptions helped.
fireangel
Member
rahvin said:Please change your source for porn right this instant.
He didn´t mean the housemaid for sex, he meant the housemaid for housework. It was a list with several points, the answer to the first was given immediatly, and the
-smilie referred to his view on the ancient idea of having a girlfriend to do all of the housework.
Kovenant84
T-369 days
fireangel said:He didn´t mean the housemaid for sex, he meant the housemaid for housework. It was a list with several points, the answer to the first was given immediatly, and the
It was really about porn, admit it.
~kov. (work!=morefunthanposting)
rahvin
keeper of the flame
fireangel said:He didn´t mean the housemaid for sex, he meant the housemaid for housework. It was a list with several points, the answer to the first was given immediatly, and the
Fine then. I have to change my source for porn. The "ancient idea" of having a housemaid to have all the sex (with) is probably out of fashion. But don't worry, it's like crop rotation and once emo girls are out, in comes the housemaid again.
Kovenant84
T-369 days
Ok, just read the past 3-5 pages. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave. But I'm back, albeit for how long I cannot guess, and this forum will no longer degenerate.
~kov. (not for lack of my trying)
~kov. (not for lack of my trying)
Kovenant84
T-369 days
You will never know how close I actually came to posting a 'ya rly!' back at you, plintus. You vile devil of temptation, you.
~kov.
~kov.
VultureCulture
Member
- Apr 3, 2006
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Kovenant84
T-369 days
Mainly because I've started working full time, and while I have a project or two to be working on, they're both small projects with excellent contractors, and so there is little/nothing for me to do at this point.
Clarification: I work in construction management, specifically with the school construction agency of NYC. I'm part of a mentor program whereby my company helps smaller general contractors to get experience with working with the city, and so broadens the pool of contractors we have to work with.
~kov.
Clarification: I work in construction management, specifically with the school construction agency of NYC. I'm part of a mentor program whereby my company helps smaller general contractors to get experience with working with the city, and so broadens the pool of contractors we have to work with.
~kov.
VultureCulture
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Kovenant84
T-369 days
Haha, yes, just a simple alt+tab away. Mostly I wait around to either go into the field with the guy who's training me to see the absolute shit-pile that has become that job (not his fault, got dumped on him when the former project manager came down with ebola or some shit - he's been out for 2 months or so), or for my contractors to call me about being paid or some such.
~kov.
~kov.
VultureCulture
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Villain
Doctor BenQuillity
fireangel said:He didn´t mean the housemaid for sex, he meant the housemaid for housework. It was a list with several points, the answer to the first was given immediatly, and the
You are correct, that was my intention. Then again, the reason why the thought of having a housemaid popped up in my head right after I had thought about sex might have something to do with certain borderline-hentai anime-series with scantily clad housemaids...
Anyways, all the funny porn-parts aside, I believe Rahvin's thorough explanation and Fireangel's previous comments have helped me understand you guys better. I still feel the same as before, but at least I can now see how you see this issue - and I take it most people see it like you but just can't analyse and express their thoughts as accurately.
I'll go to bed now, but I might come back to this topic (which turned out to be much more interesting than I thought at first) Friday-evening.
-Villain
6 Stringed Fingers
EditablePoly 1
I think you guys are over analyzing the situation and the definition of love. While agreeing to pretty much what rahvin said, to me, love is nothing short of happiness, though the latter can take various forms. Love is about happiness of being with your significant other and her happiness of being with you. Sharing, caring, compromising and sacrificing, all those actions have the same purpose: to make you and her both the happiest possible in any given situation. It is said by many that one cannot gain joy without giving it first, by loving your signficant other, you make her happy and her joy causes your happiness in return, and likewise for her actions to you. So love, in a way, is both an selfish and selfless act at the same time, an act that completes the existence of those who seek it.
@the lovers fortunate and unfortunate: the puzzle's fairly easy to solve. no partner = no support beyond your parents and siblings (if you're in good terms with them) AND no children. so no partner = paying the price of dreadful short-termism when you're about 50, or 60, or 70, and you sort of get into the quagmire of declining life. i don't want any stories about 'i will be able to face that alone'. no, you won't. you seriously won't, unless you're some kind of mystic.
aside from all the emotional aspects that rahvin aptly mentioned (congrats mate, you're headed the right way IMO), what are you supposed to do with your life after a point? write an immortal oeuvre or/and have children. both options require commitment. no commitment = no survival. to overlook that, you need to be either 19, a nihilist, or the aforementioned mystic. otherwise, you'll have to get down to work, find a boyfriend/girlfriend, and start making sense. which i don't, so do what i say and not what i do.
aside from all the emotional aspects that rahvin aptly mentioned (congrats mate, you're headed the right way IMO), what are you supposed to do with your life after a point? write an immortal oeuvre or/and have children. both options require commitment. no commitment = no survival. to overlook that, you need to be either 19, a nihilist, or the aforementioned mystic. otherwise, you'll have to get down to work, find a boyfriend/girlfriend, and start making sense. which i don't, so do what i say and not what i do.
fireangel
Member
rahvin said:
seems after all that you and Villain have something in common: Watching the same kind of almost-hentai housemaid-vids
I wouldn´t know, haven´t said that. Unless you think that sex is part of housework.
Villain:
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