chat, feelings, and random discussion thread

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Rincewind said:
So do million other smarter things.
And about reducing risk of depression, tension and stress... Please, if you need sex for that...
I'd feel depressed if I needed so much something physical.

IT HELPS, I didn't say it was THE solution.
It's all a question of hormones and biological reaction of the human body...

Wow do you all live in the 50's again?


Here's an article :
http://www.forbes.com/2003/10/08/cz_af_1008health.html
 
King Chaos said:
Although everything good old Sigmund Freud ever suggested seems pretty fucked up... it's all in some ways true. I don't know about you but I wish I had my dads cock so I could fuck my mother.


Ugh, I wouldn't want to have someone's cock to fuck someone's mum - I guess smth is really wrong with me after all...
 
KitKat said:
IT HELPS, I didn't say it was THE solution.
It's all a question of hormones and biological reaction of the human body...

Wow do you all live in the 50's again?

No, I live in a time when most human are deevolving back to being primitive animals.
And if for you living in 50's means not to be obssessed with sex and need it, to give more attention to with who you do it and why you do it, except for physical pleasure, then yes, I live in 50's and I wish 00's never came with today's mentality.
 
Gav said:
Sex drives pretty much everything in people. Successful men and women are pretty much all people with very high sex drives. People with no sex drive are usually depressed poets, musicians or in dead end jobs/institutions of education to distract themselves from how often they are not getting laid.

I heard once of the savage raping and pilaging the Mongolians would bestow upon women during their crusades. They would have sex with the women they came across, and if there were too few women for the army and so not enough holes to go around, they'd make more holes... The mongolians had alot of love for their sexual partners.
That's just because, as i said, most people think that the universe revolves around sex. Now that you've brought up psychology, i'll use Pavlov's conditioning research and say that most people condition themselves so that their lives revolve around sex and eventually can't live without it. Their moods depend on whether they have [good] sex or not, and artists go and write song after song about how the head they usually think with (the bottom one) is frustrated because it doesn't get much action. But that's society and psychology, not anatomy.

Gav said:
People who think there needs to be "love" to have sex are completely negating our ancestory, our evolution, our biochemistry, our psychology and a sense of reality.
I'm not negating anything, i'm merely saying that i'd much rather make love to one person in my life than have sex with any physically-attractive girl (and there's only one of those to me in the universe, but that's another story). The drive for sex isn't a need, it's the effect of surrendering to physical pleasure and building one's whole life around it.

Kat said:
Wow do you all live in the 50's again?
No. I don't think that sex is evil / bad / the devil's work and i don't believe in *nasal voice* "if you masturbate hairs will grow on your hand" bullshit. I just believe that all sex should be lovemaking.
 
Rincewind said:
No, I live in a time when most human are deevolving back to being primitive animals.
And if for you living in 50's means not to be obssessed with sex and need it, to give more attention to with who you do it and why you do it, except for physical pleasure, then yes, I live in 50's and I wish 00's never came with today's mentality.

I'm not obsessed and I don't think that any kind of obsession is healthy anyway. But sex is part of reality, stop being so prude, do I gave any comments on how and who and where I did it and will do it ? We don't care, that wasn't the point. That's a part of us, it's part of our instinct... I don't handle deviant people at all, and I think some horrible things happens (rapes, sex tourism, etc) and it's not the year we are in that matters, it was only a way to express my surprise about your close-minded thoughts about sex, that's it. And this is a "forum interpretation" I am sure that if we had this conversation "live" face to face it would have been very different. :)
 
I'm a person who doesn't want to have meaningless sex and would rather make love. But then, with no conscious connection (none that I have made to be the way I am at least), I'm also a social reject with no passion to make an impression on others and no passion to become anything of worth. My only passion is to please myself by achieving small personal goals. Often somewhat insignificant and incredibly seflish.

My point is, I can relate to you. But I still think you might be denying the chemistry and benefits of sex. Pavlovs conditioning arguments are fair but there's obviously many evaluations. One of which is that even at a young age children who don't practically know what sex is are excited at the concept of genitalia. We don't all live these metropolitan glamour magazine, 'sex and the city' life styles where I would agree, sexual conditioning is taking place and/or being influenced on people through the product. But to me there's no doubt sexual hunger or lack there of effects us all day in and day out in our own ways.
 
mmm sex... i couldnt tell you about that... other than it's a noun, a verb, an adjective, and a proposition bwahhahaha
 
Alan Farnham said:
Fans of abstinence had better be sitting down. "Saving yourself" before the big game, the big business deal, the big hoedown or the big bakeoff may indeed confer some moral benefit. But corporeally it does absolutely zip. There's no evidence it sharpens your competitive edge. The best that modern science can say for sexual abstinence is that it's harmless when practiced in moderation. Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)
That just says that abstinence doesn't make you healthier, but i never said it did.

Alan Farnham said:
In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare persons of comparable circumstances, age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.
I wonder: Did they ask those people why they weren't having sex? Also, how did they ask them if they were already dead (or, alternatively, how do you track the mortality of someone who isn't dead and whom you can ask questions to)?

Alan Farnham said:
Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship with the following:

- Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain's olfactory bulb, its smell center.
Sure, but that has nothing to do with health, that's another example of "practice makes perfect" (and, honestly, i think i'd rather be defective in my smell-detection nerve cells and be able to enter a public bathroom without having to breathe through my mouth).

Alan Farnham said:
- Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-on to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half. In reporting these results, the co-author of the study, Shah Ebrahim, Ph.D., displayed the well-loved British gift for understatement: "The relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest."

- Weight loss, overall fitness: Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories--about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men's Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.
Of course, but that's just because sex is very rigorous exercise, just like running for a long time or doing many push-ups in a short while. And it's proven that all exercise helps prevent heart disease.

Alan Farnham said:
- Reduced depression: Such was the implication of a 2002 study of 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
My theory is: Women whose partners don't use condoms worry about getting pregnant and that's the cause of their unhappiness. Also, this paragraph is completely irrelevant to the article because it deals with the importance of condoms rather than sex.

Alan Farnham said:
- Pain-relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.
He doesn't cite any serious article about this, so how do i know he didn't make this up on the spot. And, even supposing it's true, what about men? Why is it healthy for men?

Alan Farnham said:
- Less-frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.
For all i know, this Alan Farnham chap could be the Wilkes University "researcher" who says that. Funny how he pretends to be serious but doesn't cite a single article (mentioning "one of the most credible studies" isn't citing, it's giving shitty "proof" for what you're saying).

Alan Farnham said:
- Better bladder control: Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.
I go to the bathroom several times a day. I seriously doubt i need sex to have a healthy bladder.

Alan Farnham said:
- Better teeth: Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest--even Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted, parenthetically, that sexual etiquette usually demands the brushing of one's teeth before and/or after intimacy, which, by itself, would help promote better oral hygiene.
For one, semen never gets even close to the teeth, so any minerals in it would help other bones, if at all. Second, the second half of this paragraph is the biggest joke i've read tonight; i doubt everyone brushes their teeth before having sex (but i haven't asked them; will do, even though it might get me a few weird glances), and brushing your teeth after every meal is enough to have healthy teeth for life.

Alan Farnham said:
- A happier prostate? Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated. Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it's better to evict them. Regular old sex could do the job. But if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go, especially for the non-monogamous male. Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man's risk of cancer by up to 40%. That's because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. So, if you want the all the purported benefits of flushing with none of the attendant risk, go digital. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.
Sorry to pop your bubble here, but here the man is writing against sex [with multiple partners] and in favor of the same alternative i mentioned before (masturbation). And could it, perchance, be that cancer prevents ejaculation rather than lack of ejaculation increases risk of cancer? Edit: 'Recently' could mean anything, and i'm not going to read all the issues of the British Journal of Urology just to find that publication. Why, oh, why doesn't he ever cite articles to give real validity to his assertions?

Alan Farnham said:
While possession of a robust appetite for sex--and the physical ability to gratify it--may not always be the cynosure of perfect health, a reluctance to engage can be a sign that something is seriously on the fritz, especially where the culprit is an infirm erection.

Dr. J. Francois Eid, a urologist with Weill Medical College of Cornell University and New York Presbyterian Hospital, observes that erectile dysfunction is extension of vascular system. A lethargic member may be telling you that you have diseased blood vessels elsewhere in your body. "It could be a first sign of hypertension or diabetes or increased cholesterol levels. It's a red flag that you should see your doctor." Treatment and exercise, says Dr. Eid, can have things looking up again: "Men who exercise and have a good heart and low heart rate, and who are cardio-fit, have firmer erections. There very definitely is a relationship."

But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you're female, probably not. If you're male? You betcha.

[more about how excessive sex is bad]
Erectile dysfunction is another matter, and it's not a consequence of lack of sex, it's a cause of it. This is just filler material.

Now link me to a real article.
 
KitKat said:
I'm not obsessed and I don't think that any kind of obsession is healthy anyway. But sex is part of reality, stop being so prude, do I gave any comments on how and who and where I did it and will do it ? We don't care, that wasn't the point. That's a part of us, it's part of our instinct... I don't handle deviant people at all, and I think some horrible things happens (rapes, sex tourism, etc) and it's not the year we are in that matters, it was only a way to express my surprise about your close-minded thoughts about sex, that's it. And this is a "forum interpretation" I am sure that if we had this conversation "live" face to face it would have been very different. :)

Sorry if I seemed prude, but from what I read it was clear that you don't matter much with who you do it, as long as you're attracted physically to him, which is (to me) sad.
It is part of our instinct, but are you irrational animal that lives by instincts or inteligent human being who puts some other things before sex as only physical action? I go in second group, don't know about you.
Heh, maybe they are close-minded for today's "beautiful" standards where love doesn't mean anything and everybody are acting with no morality and responsibility, and many other things, but it is only "close-mindness" I like about me.
Maybe it would, but I have friends who think same like you and I never managed to agree with them on this subject.

In the end, I'm not judging you or any other person anywhere, my philosophy is always "Do what you like and let others do what they like*, I just said what I think. If I'm close-minded by today's standards in this, so be it.
I'd rather be considered close-minded than have sex with someone I don't love just to do it because everybody do it.
 
Gav said:
My point is, I can relate to you. But I still think you might be denying the chemistry and benefits of sex.
To me, the benefits of sex depend on the fact that all sex i engage in is lovemaking. Those benefits are to feel beautiful and to know that i'm doing something beautiful with the person i love.

Gav said:
Pavlovs conditioning arguments are fair but there's obviously many evaluations. One of which is that even at a young age children who don't practically know what sex is are excited at the concept of genitalia.
Freud said that, and i have yet to be convinced by a single thing Freud said. But, personal beliefs on psychology aside, it is false that pre-pubertal children are physically excited by any concept (if you meant 'excited' as 'interested', then that's another matter, and it probably has to do with the fact that children are naturally curious and genitalia are something not all parents talk freely about with their kids).

Gav said:
We don't all live these metropolitan glamour magazine, 'sex and the city' life styles where I would agree, sexual conditioning is taking place and/or being influenced on people through the product. But to me there's no doubt sexual hunger or lack there of effects us all day in and day out in our own ways.
More and more of us are being bombed by an attempt at imposing that lifestyle on us every day. And i'd say that sex, not sexual hunger, or lack thereof effects us all in our own ways. As for me, the effect it has is that of an unnecessary but beautiful experience.
 
oooh. i'd love to partake in this discussion, but i have to go to work. in general, i do agree with undocontrol, and i think there is a lot of demistifying to do about the fact that casual sex is "natural", "healthy" etc. - cs lewis has great pages on this topic. not to mention the whole condom discussion: while condoms are pretty effective in barring unwanted pregnancies, they do not (repeat: do not) work - if used normally - against a very high number of STD's, including but not limited to syphilis, candida albicans, hepatitis B, and if you're really unlucky AIDS too. to be 100% sure, you would need to dress each of the partners in a giant condom, and avoid any scratching, biting, sucking, licking etc. - which is dangerously close to having sex with a machine.
 
Rincewind said:
Sorry if I seemed prude, but from what I read it was clear that you don't matter much with who you do it, as long as you're attracted physically to him, which is (to me) sad.
Oh yes it matters, come on, I am not a slut who get paid for it, fuck !
 
UndoControl said:
First, everybody doesn't need sex, it's just a stupid urge some people have because they think that the world revolves around sex.
Sex is an urge, period. You have it backwards on the conditioning, sex was in the center of our instincts in the very first place. Saying that we just condition ourselves to believe the world revolves around sex doesnt make any sense. Why would anyone lift some random activity to a point where doing or not doing it is part of your position in society?

We're all humans and we all have instincts and needs, some of us more, some of us less. Only because you feel less of a need to have sex, doesnt mean the ones who feel it more or sad or pathetic. Maybe you're the one conditioning yourself to believing you're superior to your needs and instincts in order to feel superior to the flawed human being you are?
 
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