How 9/11 aka Sept.11 brought me to the DT forum ...or ... oh woe is me
In Aug. 2001 I won a R+ CD on eBay from gtranquillity aka Diana, we exchanged positives feedback, thought that was the end of our communication. On Sept.11 2001 I receive an email from Diana asking if I'm OK and that She was upset and had been crying because of the terrorist attacks.
Replied that I'm fine(the 4th plane that crashed in PA did fly over my hometown) don't remember if I said anything else? At the time never thought I'd hear from Her again. But over the next few weeks, Her emails kept coming. I could of stopped replying but chose not to. Over months,year we exchanged 100's and 100's of mails, maybe a 1000? We talked on the phone 4,5 hours many times.
During that time Diana sort of said goodbye to R+ as She found a new musical love DT. She sent me some of their music. DT's music took a hold of me and that's what brought me here.
For what it's worth???
Things did not work out for Diana and Dave, one day on this very forum, I read a post by Diana that I'm a stalker.
If you were here at that time, maybe you remember the 'La Rocque ... SUX' thread?.
Couple of my fav. PMs received at that time were:
"I'm going to kick your ass",
"If we ever meet I'll cut your balls off"
I replied to these with, here's my name address and phone number, if you're ever in the area drop bye, give me a call.
And this one
"Don't listen to those ass holes on that forum"
I'm at fault here, never thought of it as stalking more like I was dog'n Her or just being a pain in the ass, even as I continued to email Diana, I would say things like I don't understand why I keep doing this? I was never mean spirited, hurtful or made threats. It took a psychiatrist to unravel it all for me. If anyone thinks this is my typical behavior, more important that I would do this sort of thing with You, then You need to see a psychiatrist because You are delusional.
For over a year now I've had some communications with Diana. (I would of wrote friendly communication but I no longer understand what the words: friend, friendship, friendly mean? I used the friend word in a couple of emails to forum members and they took offence)
During this time I got a rare R+ cassette from Diana, sent Her a birthday card and gift, She thanked me for that and offered to get me a DT tour shirt from the EU. Did me a huge favor and won some R+ cups/bechers on the eBay and sent them my way. She mentioned in a mail that She was thinking of selling Her DT collection, wish I would of acted on that in time and bought it in its entirety. There were mails of a more personal nature, one that tore at my heart, I hoped all those forum members who were sending Her hugs at the time of the stalker nonsense were there for Her than but I doubt it. Other than that everything is/was beautiful.
"a woman always has the prerogative to change her mind about anything"
So David, why? What happened between Diana and you?
I must use the friend word here, thought I knew what it meant back then?
When Diana invited then uninvited me to visit the EU to see some R+ shows, my best friend ever Connie went ballistic at Diana over this(Connie knew what all of this meant to me), I went overboard myself at that time telling Diana, goodbye and You're not the friend You claimed to be. When I told Connie about what I did and said, She replied good riddance plus some very negative things about gtranquillity.To make a long story even longer, Connie came up with this thought that if I went back to being friendly with Diana (like a dog with its tail between its legs, Connie's words) that I was no friend of Her's. Time marches on, I started communicating with Diana again and out of the blue Connie asked if I've heard from 'dutchcake' (that's what She called Diana) I thought that was a sort of cool nickname because it always reminded me of my Grandmother who made tasty dutchcakes (yumyum) anyway I said I don't want to talk about that, Connie's reply, "well I do".
*damned if you do, damned if you don't* ... aka ... Catch 22
I knew if I lied to Connie about Diana, She would remain my friend but as a friend You can't lie so I told the truth.
As Connie walked out of my life, She said "You'll never learn"
When I told Diana about what happened with Connie,
She said I was lying about it and She walked out of my life.
I lost 2 people who I thought were friends for life because I told the truth.
As an accused stalker, never quite understood that? Its probably just me?
At the time Connie lived about 5 miles from me, I could of driven by Her place, hidden behind a tree to watch Her, gone to Her place of work or just bumped into Her but I did not do anything like that. Diana lives in the Netherlands and we are separated by an ocean and I was stalking Her, for every one time I contacted Diana probably tried five times with Connie. Guess I was stalking Her also?
Why bring up all this up almost 2 years later mofo?
I got an email from a forum member last month who brought up the stalking because I asked if they would like to see/hear a concert. Plus if you did not know about all of this you can now hold it against me. So I guess now and forever whenever I PM or email a forum member, I'm stalking them, you, everyone.
This has the feel of being in a confessional:
Bless me Father for I have sinned, my last confession was ...
NP: the FIXX - one thing leads to another
Oh, the ramblings of an insomniac in the land of confusion
If you need a clarification of anything above, I be here ...
rammxtein@aol.com
Bye bye knuckleheads, it been real
and my digicam broke yesterday. 
"Mama" 
