Convince me to Keep or Cut my Hair

[Melodeath]

I'm 26 years old, and I've had long hair all of my life except for one or two years when I was a very young teen. Meaning I have had long hair for about 96% of my life; and from even before I was into metal music, so it's not just a current fashion thing.

When I cut it "normal-boy-short" the first time at about 12/13, it was cool. It was a new experience and life was still enjoyable. It gave me kind of a confidence, but perhaps it wasn't the hair; maybe it was just that I was teenager haha. Anyway, after 1.5 years or so of that haircut, I decided to grow my hair out again. Long hair just always seemed "cooler" to me, and I wanted to have it again. Every time I saw a celebrity or a music video with long hair, I was jealous and thought "I used to have that." I grew it back out, and put dreads in because I thought they were awesome. I had dreads for a few years, but they didn't look that great, and I actually managed to comb them out without cutting my hair short again, which was a relief. Being one of the few people in your community/group of friends/whatever gives you a different type of confidence. A "rebellious confidence," perhaps.

Whether it's a good thing or not, I identify pretty heavily with my long hair, possibly because I have had it basically all my life, and it was a pretty distinctive feature especially when I was very young. No boys had long hair like I did at that age. Actually, I often got confused for a chick, but it honestly didn't really bother me, and didn't make me want to cut it either. I played baseball, and kids (especially on other teams) would ALWAYS tease me and say "cut your hair," and I just ignored it. I think it actually helped me mature mentally at an early age.

Anyway, despite everything I've said, I am considering cutting my hair short again. In the back of my mind, I wonder if somehow it's "holding me back" in a way. I've been single for like 6 years, and I wonder if it's mostly due to my hair/appearance. I've heard a number of times from females that they'd be really into it if I cut my hair short. However, it COULD just be because I currently live in a southern, mostly-conservative area. Granted, there's chicks out there who are really into long hair on dudes, but I sure haven't found any here haha.

I think I would look pretty good with short hair, but I'm worried that I would just immediately want to grow it back out again, which would take YEARS.

So should I cut it, or keep on truckin'?

Most people might just say "cut it. It's just hair. It will grow back." Ok, sure. It grows back. But it would take at least 3 years before it was back to the length it is now. Maybe you think I'm making way too big a deal about it. "It's just hair." Oh well. Some people care about hair way more than others.

Anyway, please offer advice, comment, anyone been through something similar, etc.? Maybe someone else's perspective can help me make a choice.

 

[Plendakor]

Long hair is for women.

 

[Melodeath]

Well there you have it.

Haven't you ever seen Conan?

 

[rapucore]

Long hair is for women.

Lol I hope that was a very idiotic (being polite here) joke.

 

[Clockwork]

I dunno, I recently cut my hair because I have a friend who usually does it and she fucked it up so the only way to salvage it was to just cut it to a pretty short style. Ever since that happened it's been like +100% swag with the ladies and people seem to take me much more seriously, people no longer address me as "dude" and "man" for one thing. Although for like two weeks I kept feeling my head where my hair was and had a perpetual since of vulnerability. Might be worth a shot man. NoVA isn't really the best place to have long hair anyways based on the kind of people here. :/

 

[rapucore]

And for the OP:
Don't let anyone push you down saying "oh, I'd definitely be with you - if you cut your hair". You're the same exact person with and without the hair, that shouldn't be a reason NOT to fall for someone. Horribly superficial.

I used to have long hair for years but cut it in my 14's. I've since had short hair and noticed girls attitude changing towards me. I hated the fact that it was all about the hair. I didn't change, my hairstyle did.

Be who you are with pride. Have long hair if you want, but if you cut it it's fine too. Don't change your appearance for someone else.

 

[JonWormwood]

Just got mine cut and donated it. Miss the long hair. One day.

I've been doing a lot of physical stuff and it was getting tangled and dead.

But yeah, people take you more serious.

 

[Melodeath]

I dunno, I recently cut my hair because I have a friend who usually does it and she fucked it up so the only way to salvage it was to just cut it to a pretty short style. Ever since that happened it's been like +100% swag with the ladies and people seem to take me much more seriously, people no longer address me as "dude" and "man" for one thing. Although for like two weeks I kept feeling my head where my hair was and had a perpetual since of vulnerability. Might be worth a shot man. NoVA isn't really the best place to have long hair anyways based on the kind of people here. :/

That is what I wonder about. Increased swag and being taken more seriously haha. Granted, I also worry about the whole "I don't feel like me" emotion as well, since I am undoubtedly a "long hair" and don't really like to fit in most of the time.

Actually, I'm not in NoVa currently. I currently live in South Carolina, so you can imagine what that's like haha

And for the OP:
Don't let anyone push you down saying "oh, I'd definitely be with you - if you cut your hair". You're the same exact person with and without the hair, that shouldn't be a reason NOT to fall for someone. Horribly superficial.

I used to have long hair for years but cut it in my 14's. I've since had short hair and noticed girls attitude changing towards me. I hated the fact that it was all about the hair. I didn't change, my hairstyle did.

Be who you are with pride. Have long hair if you want, but if you cut it it's fine too. Don't change your appearance for someone else.

This is a great point, and something I think about a lot. If a chick suddenly liked me just because my hair changed, I would probably be pretty bitter and not into her at all due to the obvious superficiality of it all. But that's also what's so frustrating about it. I know I'm a great catch, but I feel I get automatically dismissed by most women due to my hair alone.

I usually feel like if I had a stable long-term girlfriend, I would probably not even be considering cutting my hair. If that's the case, is cutting it a bad idea, since it seems to stem mostly from marital status desires? Being single was rad for a couple years, but it's been really frustrating with the ladies since then haha

When I was 14 and started growing my hair out again, my gf at the time told me to cut it. So I did, and we still broke up like 1 week later. I vowed to never cut my hair for a chick again because that set my growth back like a month or two haha. Ok yeah I was 14 years old, but I still remember haha

 

[bryan_kilco]

I've had dreads for the past 10 or 11 years now. I tell myself all the time that I'm finally going to cut them off, but can never bring myself to do it.

Can't really headbang/windmill while playing guitar because there's just too much hair and they end up falling all over my strings and screwing up my playing.

Do what you feel is right. I totally regret dreading my hair because I thought it would be cool, now it's just a daily pain in the ass.

 

[indecizo]

Wow OP you're cute! Judging by the pics provided I'd say you're beautiful with long hair.

 

[He's Dead, Jim]

I had metal hair from about 15 to 17. Cut it on a whim and haven't looked back since. My fiancee has seen pics of me from high school and says I look like a gamestop employee.

 

[Pman]

I'm having this exact same quandary. More input please.

 

[B36arin]

I've been swaying towards cutting mine off for a few months now, I give it a few months more until I buckle. Haven't cut it for about 5 years I think.

 

[Melodeath]

I've had dreads for the past 10 or 11 years now. I tell myself all the time that I'm finally going to cut them off, but can never bring myself to do it.

Can't really headbang/windmill while playing guitar because there's just too much hair and they end up falling all over my strings and screwing up my playing.

Do what you feel is right. I totally regret dreading my hair because I thought it would be cool, now it's just a daily pain in the ass.

Hmm, it sounds like you actually don't like your hair, in which case, why don't you cut it? I admit sometimes I don't like my hair, but often I do like it, and it "feels right/good" to have long hair, even when I don't like the look.

When I had dreads I was really lucky to be able to comb them out. I've never heard of anyone else being able to do that. I think it's because I didn't follow the dread guidelines of never using conditioner in the shower ever haha

Wow OP you're cute! Judging by the pics provided I'd say you're beautiful with long hair.

Let's date.

I had metal hair from about 15 to 17. Cut it on a whim and haven't looked back since. My fiancee has seen pics of me from high school and says I look like a gamestop employee.

Well, long hair isn't for everyone, I guess. I just have a different opinion than most people. I think it often looks better than short hair, but I realize this is not the societal standard/norm.

I've been swaying towards cutting mine off for a few months now, I give it a few months more until I buckle. Haven't cut it for about 5 years I think.

I've gotten a couple trims, but yeah I haven't gotten a "real" haircut in I guess 12 years. Nerve-wracking.

It's like that scene in The Big Lebowski with the scissors in the Dude's dream

 

[Terminus]

I'm in the process of growing mine back out. About a year in now, in that shit stage where it just can't look okay no matter what I do.

2002

That's as long as I've ever had it, but I cut it in 2005 and managed to get it back out to shoulder-length in about 2 years, then stupidly cut it short for a job, which I didn't get.

I say keep it. There are plenty of women out there who go for dudes with long hair and plenty of employers that hire regardless of hair length.

 

[HeadCrusher]

Did I miss the pics?

Don't cut it for chicks, no matter what they say! It's not like you could go up to them afterwards and say "Hey, I cut my hair, let's hang out.". Ultimately they'll be drawn to confidence. If you need short hair to get that that's cool. But don't think you'll be confident just because you've got short hair all of a sudden.

That being said I know what you mean with being held back. During the week I wear a casual office outfit and tie my hair back to a knot. Still I get offered drugs on the street all the fricking time. Since my clothes are normal I can only assume it's the hair that makes me look like I would want to buy something (which I don't). I was thinking about dressing even more "business" to improve that situation.

In the professional world I don't think it's held me back so far. I know a guy who has some sort of technical PhD and hair down to his ass. He shows up to meetings with his hair down and a band shirt on. He knows his shit though so as soon as he opens his mouth nobody cares what he looks like anymore.

One thing I'd encourage you to do is go find a great hairdresser. They'll charge you 50 bucks or something but if they are real good they can give you an actual cut (as opposed to just having long hair). That might change things for you. I know it did for me. There are a lot of variations you can try to change things up a bit without the full risk of going shorthaired right away. Also they will know what kind of hair style fits your face. It's a little hard to find someone like that but if you've got someone that's really good you'll be amazed how much time they take and what things they pay attention to. Find "classy" girls among your friends who's hair you like and ask them if they can recommend someone.

I've been debating cutting my long hair of ~15 years every know and then. I'd be very curious to see what it looks like but like you I'm just afraid I wont like it so nothing drastic ever happens.

 

[HeadCrusher]

Also: Look to Pinterest for inspiration and actually bother to use (good quality) product or straighten it if need be, use a hairdryer, or whatever is necessary to look better (that is if you don't do that already).

 

[Mago]

yeah I'd +1 everyone who said don't do it for any other reason than you wanting to do it.
If you want to try out something new do it. If not keep them until you feel like doing it.

But IMO life's too short to stand up looking at the same mug in the mirror every day

 

[Habsburgs]

is that you? you should try getting a cool haircut, shaving, and buying normal clothes.

 

[Melb_shredder]

I've had my long hair for 10 years now and I'm not bored of it. Washing it is a pain in the ass, but I'm also in a fairly regular gigging band and the last time I cut my hair remotely short felt SHIT on stage, and you know what... I get told to cut it ALL the time... But I LIKE how it looks and it's part of my thing. If you don't enjoy having it long and want a change, then you cut it bro \m/ If not, fuck what others suggest, keep it. It's just hair, yes, but it's also an aesthetic that takes a while to get back IF you cut it and decide it was a poor choice