corrupt-a-wish

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, you have to do everything exactly the same, all over again.

I wish I could control time using a remote contril-like device that never runs out of batteries.

 

[Arttiv]

Granted, but the remote control doesn't operate on batteries - it runs on the users anal thrusting of said device.

I wish that people such as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera would all die in a freak car accident, where Paris Hilton runs them down and then suddenly finds herself in a head-on collision with a freight truck that causes her instant death.

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, but their kids do a memorial concert for them and sing all thier songs.

I wish some people weren't so stupid.

 

[Arttiv]

Granted, but God then decides to make you as one who is stupid, so everyone who surrounds you seems way more intelligent by comparison.

I wish summer didn't have to be so hot in Australia.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

Granted, but now winter in Australia is like winter in Antarctica.

I wish I could snap my fingers, and a bottle of fine scotch whiskey and a blunt full of exotic cannabis would materialize.

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, but as soon as you snap your fingers, you also snap the bones in your arms, rendering them useless to hold anything.

I wish alien visitors appeared in public.

 

[gatedropper]

Granted but they all are Screech clones and are annoying as hell.

I wish someone would put up Synchestra on a yousendit file.

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, but your line alone can't connect to receive it.

I wish dwarves would stop picking on gnomes.

 

[Angeleyes Part II]

Granted,they are best buddy's now and start picking on you..

I wish the impossible could become possible...

 

[outrageous]

Granted, but now everything that was possible became impossible.

I wish Christmas food was really good for you, didn't make you fat but still tasted the same

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, it's now the only good food and only available for the week around christmas.

I wish I had a hat.

 

[Angeleyes Part II]

Granted,it's a xmas hat and everytime you post in chat lights are flickering

I wish everyone of you a Happy Xmas

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, christmas is called off (bah humbug )

I wish I could see through walls.

 

[Angeleyes Part II]

Granted,but all you see is just 'Another Brick In The Wall'

I wish someone suprised me...

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, you are so surprised that you hair turns white from shock.

I wish I had a bicycle.

 

[outrageous]

Granted, but you got it next Christmas, so you have to wait yonks.

I wish everyone had the same accent for easy understanding.

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, everyone now speaks the same and you find out how many idiots there really are in the world.

I wish I could fly a plane well.

 

[gatedropper]

Granted but even though you are flying well the plane fucks up and you die!

I wish this all didn't seem so fuckin' pointless.

 

[Ethereal Sage]

Granted, it seems slightly less pointless, but still enough to cause you a headache.

I wish drinking 7 bottles of wine didn't hurt this much.

 

[Arttiv]

Granted, but then everything else in life becomes far more painful, making seven bottles of wine seem a lot easier to tolerate.

I wish that I had some Pinot Noir or Merlot to consume on Christmas.