i suffered from two serious bouts of depression in my teens. the thing about depression is that reduces you to a state where you merely be. you don't enjoy your life , you don't care about anything you dont give a fuck about anything you just be. you wake up and then you want to go back to sleep as if your asleep you can't think about how shit things are.
in fact im probably going back depression, due to the fact im in a new town well i dont know anybody and i seem to be surrounded by people are polite to me but would rather i didnt exist.
of course theres always more general reasons why i feel down . i have 3 lovely disabilities including that most loved disabilitys, aspergers syndrome.
that particular disability makes things bad, i find socializing with most people difficult, as i can't keep a conservation up that well and don't respond to all this social cue thing. the annoying thing is I have so mcuh to fucking offer. the problem is that in my old town i knew where the cynical , tortured, witty, cool people hung out, here im surrounded by ordinary boring people who all seem to want to be 50 cent/J Lo and view me with suspicion (thanks to the fucking disability department for telling them i was autistic, they may as well have just branded the word different into my fucking forehead).
and there endeth the rant. the thing is you have focus on the postive. i go out and about once a week, Im acutually good at work, and im finanically ok. ive also found that working out and addressing the problems you face helps. ive come long way but theirs still a way to go.
albums to listen to while depressed
Joy Division-Closer
The Cure-pornography
The Cure-Faith
anything by Katatonia
anything by the smiths/morrissey
to Profanity. look im not going to turn this into vendetta , but since you can't empthaise with people wouldnt it be better to at least predict what peoples reactions could be. if not for your sake , for your fellow aspergers syndrome sufferers sake . people might think we are all uncaring people like you. ive already been tarred enugh brushes already