Forum members as parents

[MagSec4]

What would a certain forum member be like as a parent

Let us start with krigsbarn as a mother:

5 yr old Heidi: Mommmy mommy, I'm back home fom my fust day at school!
krigsbarn: STFU!

15 yr old Martin shredding guitar: Look mom, just like you taught me.. I'm getting really good!
krigsbarn: Slow down! what are you gay?

: p


I never really take you seriously, I hope you won't either..

 

[Siren]

Forum Members? Parents?

DELETE THREAD, BAN, EVACUATE THE PLACE NOWWW!!!!!!!!

*runs away as fast as possible and hides*

 

[Gums]

Siren as a parent:

*Baby cries*

Siren - AHHHHH WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO??!! *starts crying* AHHH *drops baby*

 

[MagSec4]

Siren and Hearse as parents:

little Mikko, Athena, Stavros, and Hearse Junior: What's for dinner mommma we're hungry
Siren: AHHH..*runs to window and jumps out*
little Stavros: Dadda, where's momma going?
Hearse: GET AWAY FROM ME!
All others:


EDIT: @Gums

 

[Arch]

NicktheClayman as a parent:

"Son, what would you like to have for a snack? A 7 course meal or 9?"

 

[MagSec4]

Nick as parent continued..

Harold: Wow, that was an excellent breakfast dad.
Nick: Just remember son, afterwards you gotta go clean up the kitchen
Harold: But.. I have to go to school now, and you're just sitting on the couch doing nothing
Nick: Listen son.. I will kick your ass.. And not just me, I'll bring my coworkers to help me kick your ass! Now get to it!!
Harold: ...daddy no :'(
Nick: *draws an automatic AK-47AFGafe23fh~*

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

Hahahaha yeah thats me in a nut shell .

The Grand Wazoo

Child: Mommy I dont want a bath tonight.
Wazoo: YoU NeED one!!%*&3!! Koejke
Child: What are you talking about mom?
Wazoo: OH!!!!!!!!! NIKLAS IS tEh !!!!hot!!!!@%1@
Child: Mom why cant you form complete sentences?
Wazoo: w3useif0213i jnsaelelfm (OMG) ks

Nick

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

motha fuckin *bump*

Nick

 

[krigsbarn]

Magsec as a dad:

Magsecson: Daddy... why do you smell like pee, what is that... why are you wet?

Magsec4: ZzzzzzZzzz

 

[Siren]

fuckers

 

[Thanatos]

Baby Ben: *ignores expensive toys* *pokepokepokepokepokepoke*

 

[Ormir]

Northern Lights, tending to little Göran, the only boy of his generation to bear that name. The bottled milk she is feeding him has expired.

NL: Why are all milk manufacturers idiots?
Göran: ...
NL: EVERY bloody time one buys this it manages to expire when there is over two thirds of the stuff left. Litre cartons, lasting one week, fine. I assume the people making this have NEVER seen a baby. Or then they assume everyone breeds 10kg sized hormone beasts that can stomach several cows in a day. Have they thought of making smaller cartons? I assume that would require some kind of rationality and sense of logic though. Oh humanity, what has become of you?
Göran: Du suger.
NL: Mein gott, you have no right saying that you silly little thing.
Göran: Men det är faktiskt.
NL: Your lack of articulation and arguing skills makes me want to laugh on the floor in despair at what mankind has become. That stream of drool emiting from your mouth does little to improve your chances of appearing as anything more than a devolved creature that is undeserving of life. Did you EVER consider wiping it off. I'd assume not, that would require intelligence.
Göran: Yhyyyy
NL: Why are all babies idiots?

 

[Ormir]

ouga tending to her first born, one of many to come.

baby: ...
ouga: omg he blinked :'D <3
baby: ...
ouga: fdshgpet68+gsdgasgi you're so wonderful! :')
baby: ...
ouga: i love you!!!
baby: ...
ouga: omg i love my baby <3 <3 <3

 

[Ormir]

Steve, posting away in his bedroom

Steve jr: Daddy, you need to drive me to school.
Steve: Hold on, just a few more posts.
Steve jr: But daddy, you said that you'd make 200 more and then we'd leave.
Steve: I'm aiming for 300 now, 'shup.
Steve jr: But daddy, the kids in my class already tease me because teachers mistake me for a fifth grader, I hate being this big.
Steve: Your teachers are assholes and fundamentalists. They had the fucking nerve to call the police on you as well.
Steve jr: But daddy, I wouldn't have got expelled if you hadn't strapped those smoke grenades on me, and told me to pull the ignition wire once I got my gas mask on.
Steve: Those fucks just have no sense of humour. You should have seen the expression on your classmates, OWNED. The FBI had no right keeping you in Guantanamo for two months.
Steve jr: I'll drive there myself then :'(
Steve: The keys are on the kitchen table, bring me a happy meal on the way back plzkthx.

@Nick: That made me laugh out aloud, good one.

@Magsec: Great thread!

 

[MagSec4]

Nick,Ormir
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

 

[Steve]

Steve, posting away in his bedroom

Steve jr: Daddy, you need to drive me to school.
Steve: Hold on, just a few more posts.
Steve jr: But daddy, you said that you'd make 200 more and then we'd leave.
Steve: I'm aiming for 300 now, 'shup.
Steve jr: But daddy, the kids in my class already tease me because teachers mistake me for a fifth grader, I hate being this big.
Steve: Your teachers are assholes and fundamentalists. They had the fucking nerve to call the police on you as well.
Steve jr: But daddy, I wouldn't have got expelled if you hadn't strapped those smoke grenades on me, and told me to pull the ignition wire once I got my gas mask on.
Steve: Those fucks just have no sense of humour. You should have seen the expression on your classmates, OWNED. The FBI had no right keeping you in Guantanamo for two months.
Steve jr: I'll drive there myself then :'(
Steve: The keys are on the kitchen table, bring me a happy meal on the way back plzkthx.

But there are 2 problems.
1. Happy meal? I hate McDonalds
2. Driving is good

And the grenade jokes.. maybe I shouldn't explain why that's ironic...

 

[Arch]

Sven NicktheClaymanson = Krigsbarn + NicktheClayman's son.

Sven: "Pappa, what's for dinner?"

Nick: "Your mommy's favourite, köttbullar and your daddy's very own Chicago style pot brownies."

 

[rahvin]

@hearse: i approve. and it feels like the first time i smile in years.

 

[Ormir]

Hearse in his room, bins filled with used toilet paper, several rolls sitting on his desk.

Kid: Daddy, how are babies made?
Hearse: Hahaha, I knew you'd ask that one day, I'll tell you all about it...
Hearse: Well, first... ummm...
Hearse: I'd had a bit to drink and then I... what the hell did I do again?
Kid: ...
Hearse: Ok, I know it's like when you wank, but with someone else... and... fuck, how can you do it without a hand again?
Hearse: I need to think about this, come back in a few hours. And bring me more toilet paper when you come back.

 

[Northern Lights]

@Ormir, Magsec, Nick, Hearse, and I'm forgetting... uh, everyone

NL: Why are all babies idiots?

That definitely sums up my motherhood