I need help, but I don't think it'll help

Hmmm, the whole blowing off plans so you can talk might not be good Mister. Just because you go off and do your own thing doesn't change any feelings the both of you might have for each other. You can depend on talking to someone but don't become an addict to it.
 
Kitty said:
Hmmm, the whole blowing off plans so you can talk might not be good Mister. Just because you go off and do your own thing doesn't change any feelings the both of you might have for each other. You can depend on talking to someone but don't become an addict to it.
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damn
women are so good with words :p
 
SSJ4SephirothX said:
Okay, here is the thing. I'm really confused as all hell right now. There is this girl I know, from the Internet. Lately, I have been talking to her alot. I talk to her every night, on the phone. I live here, she lives near Chicago. She currently has a boyfriend, but I don't see them lasting much longer because he kind of treats her like shit. I know this dude (never met him in person) and have known him for somewhat close to two years. The way he is towards her angers me. So anyways, I have been starting to develop feelings for her. I mean, really, real feelings, a real liking for her. I can't sleep at night. Well, I've always had sleep deprievation problems, but it's a little worse now. All I do, is I work and come home and look forward to talking with her every night. I feel that we click. We have a lot in common, we get along great, I respect her, and vice versa. She is just so fucking beautiful and it's killing me, man. Lately, I have been in a deep state of depression and the people I talk to, even on the computer (IRC), have noticed it too. Some of them have even said that they don't like my new found maturity. I have always been mature, but in the computer-based world, I'm more immature because that's my release, where I rid all of my energy. Lately, I have had no energy. I feel weird, for one, because this is someone over the fucking Internet and it's the first time I've fallen for someone like this. I mean, I just got promoted, and when I get some cash flowing, I'm going to fly her over here and shit. But she is all I can think of and I've been highly depressed as of late. I am a Manic Depressant, but I have learned how to take over, except for lately. My depression is starting to take over and I'm getting kind of freaked out. I'm more emotional. I was a really emotional person in my childhood because I got that part of me from my mom, but after I grew up, I learned to supress my emotions. Lately, it's even come to the point to where I almost cry myself to sleep. I don't know if it's fear of the fact that I think that this is the one and that I won't ever end up with her, or maybe because I haven't truely had these feelings in a couple of years, or maybe because lately, I have come to realize that I'm really lonely. I'm only twenty, but I want to start my life. I want to meet someone. I'm tired of being alone, and it's freaking me out. I can't take control. I'm being controlled by a strong, invisible force. It's called my mind. My mind is taking over by it's emotions and I have no control over them. I'm going to stop ranting because I could go on and on, and I'm sure you guys wouldn't like to read all of that crap. This is another reason why I haven't really been around lately. I haven't even felt like playing FFXI lately. All I do is wait for her to get home so I can talk to her. I'm in a too depressed state of mind to concentrate on anything. I've been writing a new song...and it's just been so hard to think of the structure. I'm struggling on it because my mind is going two million miles per hour. This sucks, and I can't fight it.
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For one, i absolutely agree what you feel, 'cause some things happens same in my life too...

Two, life is sux, but we have to make it better somehow, someway...

Three, I WANNA SEE PIC OF THAT GIRL!!!
 
I was in the same position a while ago. Only it was with a girl in England. I had to realise that because I'm still young, there wasn't much chance of anything else but talking on the phone, Anyway go meet her, and see from there.

Don't get depressed from it, that's the last thing you want, because it'll take ages to get over it. That's all I can say really :err: .
 
i kind of know how you feel right now man. i got dumped back in august. she was the first girl that i ever really loved. when she dumped me, i didnt do much, i sat at my computer all the time, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat, i couldnt focus at work. evenone around me knew something was wrong. it was the worst time of my life and i was complete depressed. ive never really been depressed in my life except during that period. the only thing i can tell you to do is try to go out and do things. i know everyone says it but it really is the best way. think of something you really love in life and do something with that. i love cars so i joined a car club, it was a great way to go out, talk to people, and just lose myself and my emotions in something i loved. if your into music, get involved in the local music scene doing something...


i know the problem is the opposite, but the solution is somewhat the same
 
Venymous said:
i kind of know how you feel right now man. i got dumped back in august. she was the first girl that i ever really loved. when she dumped me, i didnt do much, i sat at my computer all the time, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat, i couldnt focus at work. evenone around me knew something was wrong. it was the worst time of my life and i was complete depressed. ive never really been depressed in my life except during that period. the only thing i can tell you to do is try to go out and do things. i know everyone says it but it really is the best way. think of something you really love in life and do something with that. i love cars so i joined a car club, it was a great way to go out, talk to people, and just lose myself and my emotions in something i loved. if your into music, get involved in the local music scene doing something...


i know the problem is the opposite, but the solution is somewhat the same
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Yeah, it is the opposite, but I have been there too, man. I'd rather not talk about that situation, though.
 
Shit, I've known you for a couple years, and I've seen you fucking seldom seirous, maybe twice. I'm in this situation currently. And, I wanna kill her boyfriend, just fucking kill him, he doesn't treat her like crap, but I know what kind of person he is, and it's pissing me off. He's only using her, and I can't do shit about it, she lives so far away, and the saddest part, the part that I just wanna fucking cry about, she loves the guy because of what he thinks he is...:(. I really don't know how to help you man, because, shit, we're basically drinking buddies, we're never serious, or whatever, but, I'll let you deal this one out by yourself, of course, you know, I'll try my best and shit, but, I dunno what I could say to make this situation any better..shit..
 
Creeping Death said:
Shit, I've known you for a couple years, and I've seen you fucking seldom seirous, maybe twice. I'm in this situation currently. And, I wanna kill her boyfriend, just fucking kill him, he doesn't treat her like crap, but I know what kind of person he is, and it's pissing me off. He's only using her, and I can't do shit about it, she lives so far away, and the saddest part, the part that I just wanna fucking cry about, she loves the guy because of what he thinks he is...:(. I really don't know how to help you man, because, shit, we're basically drinking buddies, we're never serious, or whatever, but, I'll let you deal this one out by yourself, of course, you know, I'll try my best and shit, but, I dunno what I could say to make this situation any better..shit..
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Yeah Zoran, I know, man.

Edit: Oh, and there is some information that you guys don't know.....it's more of a complicated situation now, which really fucking doesn't help.
 
Well this is my story. So I have this great relationship with this chick right I mean.. full out love. And you know we always chilled, talked... did all that. So it's you know, a steady thing for 7-8 monthes it was going perfect we would be together for years, I mean we just had soooo mcuh in common it was rediculous. But of course that all had to change, how you may be thinking... fucking moving. Thats right moving. Over the past 8 monthes I have been living in Maine.. thats 2 hours away from my old town in Massachusetts. We knew, for the best, that we would have to serperate.. it wasn't a dump type situation just a break. Throughout the monthes we still talk, online, phone, all of that shit. And I get to see her sometiems over long periods of vacation. But when we talk we talk about you know what we did on that certain day you know that kind of weird ass shit but so we talk about say a party and her and me will both talk about a girl we met you know did some shit whatever... but for me and her it is still, to this day, hard to get into an intimate relationship with anyone else. It's kept me up many nights wondering what will happen and I hope that once we're all done with schooling and shit like that, we'll meet up with eachother again and have a great relationship that we once did have. So thats me story and the last thing I got was a goodbye kiss and her picture. Damn..... woman.. shit how many things can they to a guy ya know? Well not only is this my longest post ever it's also my deepest personal so, all you UMers out there.
icon_cheers.gif
you all rule.
 
All right, man. All my friends are guys, and I've heard this story a thousand fucking times before. Though I don't know you in the least, I feel that I should bestow some of my infinite feminine wisdom and try to console you. First of all, you have an obsession growing here. I recognize it because I've been there. When there is someone that can have that much of an impact on your entire life, it's powerful. Whether that power is used for good or bad is up to the individuals.... It can be all consuming love mutual to both parties, or it can be the most miserable thing you've ever endured in your life... unrequited love. As it stands right now, you have to chill out.... A) because you're going to get gray hair and heart trouble from this anxiety
B) because I said so...I am a chick. I know how chicks are. No matter how wonderful and un-manipulative she seems, she's still a chick. If she didn't want to be with her boyfriend, she would break up with him. It's as simple as that. If she's with somebody that treats her badly and she stays with him, you should shoot for a girl with more brains, more self respect.

Basically, you've torn yourself apart for this girl. You wait around for her, you blow off your other shit for her, and she has to realize that. If she doesn't recognize what she is doing to you, she can't be too perceptive or compassionate. I realize that the world is a bleak and distressing place when you're lusting after somebody who doesn't know, doesn't care, has a restraining order against you, exists only in dreams, whatever. It seems like everything else sucks and the only thing to look forward to is that person. This... is unhealthy. The world goes far beyond what you're seeing right now. You have narrowed your perspective to the point of seeing only one thing. You have to try really really hard to get back some semblance of reality.

Tell me if I was completely off base with any of this. I don't want to offend you or the object of your infatuation, but I'm not usually wrong. Feel free to vent back and if you want me to babble more, I can go on for hours.
 
how can you not love women?
first kitty, now betty... and they can say that kind of stuff for sure :p
we men just try to guess the best way and try to make a sentence that doesn't contain the words "beer", "tit" or "football" :p

but seriously man, i think i agree with her... once again, try to look at the facts, think rationally
 
True, and the point Betty made about if the girl really didn't want to be with her man then she'd leave him is valid. I should know, it happened to me, and no the story doesn't have such a nice ending.
 
Good for you. it takes a lot to realize that, but to be cliche for a moment, "If you truly love something, let it go..." i think you know the rest.
Best of luck bro,
-Someone whos been there before
 
I had a situation happen somewhat like this last year. I had met a fellow online, and first we became online chatters who liked the same music. Then we began talking more and more often. (He lived in Germany. Still does I think.) Well, things did start to get more between us after awhile; both of our feelings came out at once. But with 3,500 miles between us and having never met in person(we talked on the phone), there wasn't much else we could do. I had already been planning to go overseas(the Netherlands), and we were finally going to meet.

He had been ill on and off for a long time; then I saw less and less of him; he was telling me of things that he regretted in the past; and he was beginning to get depressed. One day, he just dissapeared from online.

Of course I worried about him. I thought the worst happened. I hadn't had contact with him since. One day I found out...he's still around and ok. We don't talk anymore; but just knowing that he is alive is enough for me. We had a few good online and phone months talking together; and I guess everything happened for a reason. Wasn't meant to be.

But you never know. Meeting on the net is perfectly ok I think; it's just another place to meet someone. But things can get hairy. I am one that can handle long distance stuff; but some people can't. You just have to weigh everything and ask yourself in the end, is all of this worth it? If you can honestly look at all sides of the story, and know what you are getting yourself into or what you are already into, and say, for sure, it's 110% worth all of the trouble(and will be worth it in the end), then go for something. But if there are any doubts(like there was with me), then sometimes it's just best to let it go.

that's my two cents; take them as you will.
 
The internet sucks... you always meet a whole bunch of people you'd sell your kidneys to meet in real life, but you can't.
That's all i have to say

That and good luck bro, as i told you before, if you think this trough i'm sure you'll do the right thing ;)
 
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