I need help, but I don't think it'll help

[_Quarantine_]

B) because I said so...I am a chick. I know how chicks are. No matter how wonderful and un-manipulative she seems, she's still a chick. If she didn't want to be with her boyfriend, she would break up with him.



Hey. It's nothing about girl or boy. A dude did to me exactly what you described in your post. Exactly-the-same. Wow, it's astonishing to see my own life reflected in Betty's words, someone I don't even know.

It feels like human life goes round and round. We all go through the same shit.

 

[Stun]

Man, I'd listen to what Betty says... she's 100% right.

I was in a similar situation once, it totally fucked over both of our lives, she's still really fucked up, and I probably am too. That's all I can say that hasn't been said by Betty.

Saying you love someone doesn't mean much, esp. when you've never met them. Love is not an emotion, it's a state of mind and a set of actions. When ppl say they fall in love it usually means they fall in obsession. Unfortunately, infatuation and love are the same thing to most ppl...

 

[MagSec4]

Very true, Stunman

 

[Cat5Messiah]

Yea......

It's weird.......my ex-girlfriend who took me five years to get over......I fucking loved her and I still do to this day. I am best friends with her, yadda yadda ya, and yes, still have feelings for her. Though, the way I felt about her oh lets say, two years ago.....I feel that way with Brianna. Her boyfriend is out of the picture and I just don't know. Yes, I plan on flying her over her in the spring, but I'm still just so confused. You guys can say all this shit like "Let it go and if she comes to you, it's yours" crap. I've never believed in that shit. My thing is, if you want something badly, persue it. Everything is possible and until you know for sure, there is no reason to quit. People are different. Their personalities are different. Letting someone go and waiting for them to come back if bullshit. What if they don't come back because of the fact you left? Maybe they feel betrayed, lost, confused. People think differently and this is the way I think. But still, I love her....

 

[Tut Ankh Amon]

dude
just don't do anything BIG for her, you know?
so if you go meet her, just try to analize te situation rationally THERE ya know?

 

[Cat5Messiah]

A little update:

Lately, I have been saying "Love ya" and such in E-Mails and Text Messages I send to her. Last night, she didn't answer her phone so I text messaged her. She called me and we talked on the phone longer than usual. Usually, she goes to bed around Midnight or one A.M. her time, ten or elevan P.M. my time (two hours difference, durrrrr). She talked to me until four A.M. her time. Today, when I woke up, I saw that she had text messaged me to say hi and that she would be home later....I thought that was the best thing to wake up to.

I talked to her a few times today. A few times because I was running around taking care of some stuff and had to associate with people (no, I'm not a drug dealer). I went to a restaurant with my dad, his girlfriend and a couple of their friends. I knew that she wanted to talk to me. She had asked me if I was lonely....I said "Yes, in general". I could tell that she didn't want to get off of the phone and I felt sad after I got off with her. I called her back later but I was going over to a buddy's house who I haven't seen in almost a year (I just moved back to the Seattle area). I know that she was sad and that she wanted to talk to me.

For the past month, she has been kind of hesitant about saying 'bye'. We would always end a conversation with "Ok? Alright? Ok...ok...G'night...Bye". It would just carry on and on and on. Well, I called her when I got home from my buddy's and she was half asleep. She wanted to go to sleep, but she didn't. She needs her sleep, so I asked her if she wanted me to let her go to sleep (hehe) and she said yea. I saw a little on and on thing coming and I just decided that I was going to tell her that I loved her for the first time over the phone. Before I did, she made a kissing noise and I froze, I didn't know what to reply to that with so I blamed my cell phone and said that she cutted out. When she did that, I wanted to jump through the phone and give her a big hug. Thinking about it now...I should have done the same thing, but anyways....That was my cue. I knew then that I would tell her. I said "G'night" and she said the same. I told her that I loved her and she replied with:

"I love you too."

I am so madly in love with her and it depresses me that she isn't here. I wish she was here so I could just hold her in my arms while she was sleeping. Before, when I was with Kim, I don't think I really knew what love was, I was young. I'm not old or anything, but I don't consider myself young. I will be twenty one in June. I consider myself to be years ahead of my actual age. It's odd because of the distance, but I believe that I am officially in love with her. I'd move over there to be with her, if I had to.

 

[A Fire Inside]

Truly moving, man. I almost fell in love with you.

I'll tell you something that can help you if you catch it right. Well, my English sucks a lot, you know very well, but I'll try my best.

A year and a half ago I fell in love with a girl. I only could see her almost every Friday night or Saturday night. And what's more, he had a boyfriend, one of my best friends... It was kind of hard for me, by the time, and two months later I stopped going out at night because some day I got very drunk and I was in coma. I decided to quit drinking and going out at night and blablabla... Thus, I have never seen her anymore, just a few times (3 or 4) when I phoned her to meet her someday and have a drink together. Furthermore, she lived too far from my home to see her everyday. It fucking hurt me so much that I thought I would never be the same again.

As time passed, I learned to forget her, and it was kind of hard for me, because she never showed me any kind of interest for my love, like saying "I love you" or some kind of stares that make you know a girl loves you.

But this sad story has a happy ending, in retribution for my suffering. 6 months after I started to like a girl (and she started to like me too, but I didn't know it until 6 months later), it was in June. She's from Perú, but lives in Barcelona, and she went to her country for holidays. Imagine, 3 months separated one from the other and we never ever stopped thinkin' about each other (although we tried to). When she returned we started seeing us more often and in December, 30th I told her I loved her since 9 months ago.

So Seph, consider yourself lucky, she has interest in you, and you in her. If both of you really are in fucking love, you'll be together in a certain (but not distant) future. And... for the fuck's sake! you are 21!!! You can move to another city/state, but not me! I was 16 when those facts above ocurred!

The posts you have written up to today made me see how much are you suffering. If I believed in God, I would pray for you. I really want you to get her... to find the girl of your dreams is a uforgetable experience.

Kisses.

NP: Cult Of Luna - Further

 

[MagSec4]

..I don't know what to say man

Good luck

 

[Tut Ankh Amon]

okay
do not read this thread listening to those slow moody songs from Cirque Du Soleil

good luck man

 

[Cat5Messiah]

okay
do not read this thread listening to those slow moody songs from Cirque Du Soleil

good luck man

You know what you need to do then, Yanko? You need to make another frostbite song.......yea.

@AFI: I'm glad it worked out for ya.

@John: Thanks beotch.

It is closer, we are closer than what we used to be, but it's not complete yet. I just hope everything keeps moving forward from this point.

 

[Creeping Death]

Good luck with that Steve-o. That's all I can say.

 

[Cat5Messiah]

She's still stuck on her ex for reasons that I know of but won't say.

I know (really hope I know) that they won't get back together and so does she. I just want her to walk away from it because it's just going to hurt her more. I love her so much and I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't be with her. I've been hurt enough times in the past.......I think I might snap if this doesn't work out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Not a fucking minute goes by when I'm not thinking about her. What if we don't get together and I do something stupid.......I just don't know.....

NP: Shadows Fall - Lead Me Home

 

[EagleFlyFree]

my opinion is you should try to let your feelings for her cool down a bit (as long and/or hard as it might take/seem), cause it doesn't seem she's making the same level of compromise as you are
just be patient, that way if it works out then you can loose yourself again, but if it doesn't you won't crash and burn.

 

[Tut Ankh Amon]

my opinion is you should try to let your feelings for her cool down a bit (as long and/or hard as it might take/seem), cause it doesn't seem she's making the same level of compromise as you are
just be patient, that way if it works out then you can loose yourself again, but if it doesn't you won't crash and burn.

 

[A Fire Inside]

She's still stuck on her ex for reasons that I know of but won't say.

I know (really hope I know) that they won't get back together and so does she. I just want her to walk away from it because it's just going to hurt her more. I love her so much and I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't be with her. I've been hurt enough times in the past.......I think I might snap if this doesn't work out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Not a fucking minute goes by when I'm not thinking about her. What if we don't get together and I do something stupid.......I just don't know.....

NP: Shadows Fall - Lead Me Home

I seem to be your emotional counselor :Spin: (Hey! If it's for a good reason, why not?)

I agree with the Helloween freak, you should let your emotions flow when you are together. Start with a low-level messages, kind of hidden-messages, then, if she replies the way she should (agreeing, saying she likes you too, or something like that...) you ought to be a bit more direct. It's fucking hard, man, I know it because I lived, so I can clearly say that it was difficult but worth the try!

And please, don't do anything you could regret in the future. Many times I have done something stupid and regretted it in a future time. By this way you suffer twice, and the more you suffer, the harder it is to get over it. I never thought of giving these kind of advices, because I used to think I would never get a girlfriend... there is nothing written, my friend. Hazard rules it all, let him a chance, and you might be rewarded.

NP: Danzig - Mother

 

[perfecterror]

She's still stuck on her ex for reasons that I know of but won't say.

I know (really hope I know) that they won't get back together and so does she. I just want her to walk away from it because it's just going to hurt her more. I love her so much and I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't be with her. I've been hurt enough times in the past.......I think I might snap if this doesn't work out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Not a fucking minute goes by when I'm not thinking about her. What if we don't get together and I do something stupid.......I just don't know.....

NP: Shadows Fall - Lead Me Home

I know exactley how you feel. I haven't been on UM in a while, really bad things have been happening in my life recentley. i have been in love with someone out of reach before, and it hurts so much. I am also depressed... and for many reasons. i know that i don't really know you and you dont know me, but i feel like i just want to hug you because i know exactley how you feel. i know that you feel like if you dont get to be with her, you may snap, but pleaase please know that you can survive this. doing "something stupid" is not the answer... i know that sometimes it feels like you have no control, and you are ruled by your mind. but you have to know that if i can survive it, you can. i have had really bad anxiety attacks where i feel like there is nothing i can ever do to feel free from the pain of my mind... the answer is to talk to people like you are doing right now. just by doing this thread you are helping yourself. it is good to get your thoughts out, especially to people that will listen. it helps me a lot, and i can overcome my mind. i haven't been on UM in a while, because something really bad has happend in my life latley... my whole life has been changed. on jan 17, my father took his own life. i have had a real hard time with this, i have such a deep sadness. i feel so alone, and i feel like i have no family anymore. my mom cheated on him for 7 months while he paid for her to live in another city so she could "be happy"... well when he found out, he snapped, his heart broke. i was there the whole time, i wish i could have prevented it. i tried to get him into the mental hospital 2 times that week before he did it, and they said they had nothing to keep him in there for (he hadn't attempted and failed)! so one night i left to go see my boyfriend, and the next morning when i came home, i found him. i miss him so much, and i wish i wouldn't have left after he convenced me it would be okay... but i can't keep looking back or i will never be able to live. i know that maybe this thread isn't the best place to write this, but i think it helpes me to actually write it down when i can bearley say it out loud. i know that depression is, believe me. i have been living it for 7 years with a mother who tried to commit suiside and did crack all the time... and then a father who stood by her all that time, and then gets his heart broken actually does it. i am never going to be the person i was before this happend... but with God and talking to people about how i feel, I have stayed strong. i just want you to know that if i can live through all of this, i know that you can... and if "what you live through only makes you stronger"... then i am as strong as an ox. but i dont know weather that is true or not because right now i am just living day by day trying to live. i am currentley living with friends, and have no bedroom, and i have no health insurance. atleast i have my car, school, and my friends. so just trust me, you will be okay... just talk to people and make yourself do things even when you don't feel like it. ya know, this girl you are talking about... she is lucky to have someone like you who cares about her and wants her to be happy like you do... and i am sure that there is another girl in this world who would love to have you if she never comes around as for that guy i thought i was in love with 5 years ago... when i met him, he was not the one. i was so depressed, and like you said, i don't think i ever stopped thinking about him. well, he never came around. i thought i would die if i didnt have him. but i found someone esle and someone i never expected it is so weird how things happen i life ya know. i was so determined to have that guy, and Jimmy, my bf, just came out of no where and struck me by surprise, and i never saw it comming. i was so obsessed with the other guy i was blind to the idea of someone else. but i love jimmy so much, he is my world now. i was alone for so long, i know how it feels, but you will find someone...BELIEVE ME! well i think i have talked wayyy too much... so i will stop now
-jayme

 

[EagleFlyFree]

i'm sorry you got to live trough that, that can't be easy
you'll just have to learn to get by how you can... you're certainly not the first person that falls into that situation. sometimes it comes to a point where you have to be strong with no alternatives (what your father did isn't an alternative, that's no way to face things)
i hope you find the strength to keep on running, at the end of your life in many years you'll definitively feel it was worth it.
and hey, you'll find a lot of support here and in many other places
like you said, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. sail on!

 

[Cat5Messiah]

@Perfecterror: My condolences. I am so sorry to hear about that.

I can't let my feelings for her cool down, because I can't control them. The mind is a very powerful thing but I can't tell what has more control in this matter, my mind, or my heart. I don't really know what to say....

My feelings are the same, if not growing stronger. I can't focus, I can't sleep, I can't do anything. I just want to be with her and I don't know what I am to do.

NP: Into Eternity - Shallow

 

[Stun]

"I can't tell what has more control in this matter, my mind, or my heart"

If you think like that, you'll never have any control in your life over anything... when ppl start dividing their own bodies into seperate beings, that's when they lose all control and get into stupid situations... mind and body are one, they cannot exist without the other. Once I realized that my entire body is subject to my mind (and vice-versa) my life actually began... it might seem obvious but 99% of ppl I've met are controlled by their urges and very few realize it. Really, the only thing stopping you from taking control is yourself.

Good luck man... I'm not gonna lie, these things hardly ever work out, but they can... and I hope it will.

...

Get in tune... don't think, do it... your at the center of a puzzle where only one of the pieces can be moved... don't mind me I'm just rambling on now... "don't think, do it" is actually not the best advice for most ppl...

 

[A Fire Inside]

Don't let your hear darken your mind. By giving your heart the control of your body you won't get anything but problems. Instead of that, enlighten your heart with some clear thinking.

I know that thinking when you are in love is like thinking being drunken. But acting with your mind will contribute with good acts, far better than acting led by your emotions, which can make you act the wrong way. A single mistake could make you fall, man, and I guess you're not in for any more problems.

My mom told me that "The one who hurts you more, is the one that loves you more." I don't know if it fits with your current situation, but I hope it'll help.

Hold on to your dream, Seph.

NP: Skid Row - Wasted Time