SilentRealm said:
I think the best way for a woman to try and prevent something like that is to know what the signs of a commitment-phobe or potential wanderer are, and take a good hard long look at the man she is about to commit herself to first - and try to do so without the "lust blinders" that cloud the judgement of even the most intelligent headstrong woman. Nothing is ever failsafe but I know I've seen so many relationships that are trainwrecks waiting to happen because one partner refuses to see the truth about the person they're with, and then complain later that they don't know what went wrong, when the whole time I and other people around me could see exactly what was wrong.
I agree. In a sense, that gets back to my argument - marriage is a serious institution that is not treated with the respect it requires to function correctly. Published statistics about divorce rates and glorified failed relationships in Hollywood have made a mockery of the institution. To get back to the original argument - is marriage obsolete? - I argue, no, it is not obsolete; it is merely corrupted.
SilentRealm said:
I have another interesting question though if anyone cares to join in.. if you have a friend and either you know their partner is cheating on them, or they are cheating on their partner and you find it despicable.. do you tell the cheatee what is going on?
Cheaters are anathema to me. I can't stand why anybody would be in a committed relationship to somebody and go stuff their wanker somewhere it's not supposed to be. I can't even walk into a nudie bar because I couldn't stand to look my wife in the eye when I got home.
I would likewise tell the "cheatee" the situation, if they were a friend of mine. Or I would tell my wife if they were a friend of hers, and she would damn sure tell them what was going on. My wife is very up front with that kind of thing. And, likewise, if I knew my friend was the cheater, I would not want to have much to do with him/her anymore.
J-Dubya 777 said:
I have ZERO tolerance for infidelity when I'm involved with someone.
Ugh! You and me too. I found out I had been cheated on in a young relationship and never spoke to her again. I later saw them out bowling one afternoon. I knew the gal working that day and she set me up on the lane next to them. I rolled a 242. They left in a hurry. This is my house!
Jax said:
Wrong. That exact thing happened to me, and who was it that walked out on me & left me with no income and a 4 year old daughter & a 3 month old son (yeah, he walked out on our son's 3 month birthday..nice hmm?)? My then-husband. As much as I believe in the commitment that it represents, marriage doesn't guarantee anything, except that children born during the marriage will be "legitimate" in society's eyes.
That's a drag (not to sound minimizing of your situation). Marriage doesn't guarantee anything, yes, but it does allow provisions for certain situations - alimony, child support, etc. Did you get to divorce court, or was he just long gone?
"Walking out" is another thing I don't get. I don't know how somebody could do that, regardless of whether they are married or in a budding relationship. Be a man and end things properly, if you want out. Don't just cut and run.
I myself couldn't think of life without my two kids, even though it's only been four years since I first became a dad.
