Slayer Concert Review Help

Raumien

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Jul 24, 2003
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Hey, I'm the guy who writes in metal reviews for our school news paper and I'm doing my frist concert review this issue. It's gonna be Slayer. I'm having trouble, I suck at doing concert reviews heheh. If you have any tips let me know, I'll just keep this updated to what I have currently written. Keep in mind this is my very first draft.

Headlining the Jaegermeister Music Tour is one of the the biggest influence on Death and Thrash Metal in the past two decades, Slayer. You could really tell this band was loved when hundreds of people crammed together on the floor of the Agora chanted, "Slayer...Slayer...Slayer..." only to explode in excitement when the group first appeared on stage. They wasted no time, ripping into their first song almost immediatly. Everyone surged back and forth, pushing, trying to get closer to these living legends before them. Tom Araya delivered his furious vocals exceptionally well, he still hit his signature high-pitched shrieks despite his age. The rest of the Slayer crew displayed all the energy you hear in their albums. Wild guitars, precise and thunderous drumming....all with their speed and haunting sound. Their setlist included classics such as "Angel OF Death," "Raining BLood," "God Hates Us All" and "Dead Skin Mask."
 
Raumien said:
Hey, I'm the guy who writes in metal reviews for our school news paper and I'm doing my frist concert review this issue. It's gonna be Slayer. I'm having trouble, I suck at doing concert reviews heheh. If you have any tips let me know, I'll just keep this updated to what I have currently written. Keep in mind this is my very first draft.

Headlining the Jaegermeister Music Tour is one of the the biggest influence on Death and Thrash Metal in the past two decades, Slayer. You could really tell this band was loved when hundreds of people crammed together on the floor of the Agora chanted, "Slayer...Slayer...Slayer..." only to explode in excitement when the group first appeared on stage.
When you say "only to", it implies that the second thing and the first don't sit well together, like "we bought a crate of beer only to find that John and Susie don't drink alcohol." So writing the sentence like that, it sounds like it's an oddity that the crowd would explode after chanting for a band.

They wasted no time, ripping into their first song almost immediatly.
Who are "they"? You mention both the crowd and the group in the previous sentence. Also, you might mention what the first song actually was, and whether it was "the timeless thrash classic, X" or "punishing new number Z" (for example).

Everyone surged back and forth, pushing, trying to get closer to these living legends before them. Tom Araya delivered his furious vocals exceptionally well, he still hit his signature high-pitched shrieks despite his age. The rest of the Slayer crew displayed all the energy you hear in their albums. Wild guitars, precise and thunderous drumming....all with their speed and haunting sound. Their setlist included classics such as "Angel OF Death," "Raining BLood," "God Hates Us All" and "Dead Skin Mask."
If you're writing for a school paper, you might also want to pepper the names of the other band members into the piece. Unless you're at Jack Black's School of Rock, I'm willing to bet that half of your readership will know Slayer only as "something to do with that whole heavy metal thing", if they know them at all, so a dab of background info here and there would be a good thing.