JaadCe
Member
Why did the Jumbo Cactaur slay the Opeth guys? Because the jokes on their forum sucked.
gotta love Trey's cactaur sigt.
gotta love Trey's cactaur sigt.
The Opeth joke thread
- Thread starter Profanity
- Start date
The Dude
The Dude abides
Whilst flying to the states to tour with labelmates Slipknot, the Opeth lear jet develops engine trouble and starts to go down. Soon the band realises there are only four parachutes on board, and somebody would have to be left behind.
Mike says: "As I am the frontman, I must go first, and I am taking Per because he is my badminton partner"
Per and Mike both grab parachutes and jump out, laughing like schoolgirls on the way down.
Peter looks at the Martins and says "I am an unparallel master of the guitar, and also white." He grabs a chute and jumps out.
Lopez, turning to the bass player says: "Well looks like it's down to you and me esse.
...esse?"
But there was naught but the sound of wind rushing past the open emergency hatch, and all alone, the drummer began to sob...
Mike says: "As I am the frontman, I must go first, and I am taking Per because he is my badminton partner"
Per and Mike both grab parachutes and jump out, laughing like schoolgirls on the way down.
Peter looks at the Martins and says "I am an unparallel master of the guitar, and also white." He grabs a chute and jumps out.
Lopez, turning to the bass player says: "Well looks like it's down to you and me esse.
...esse?"
But there was naught but the sound of wind rushing past the open emergency hatch, and all alone, the drummer began to sob...
The Dude
The Dude abides
Saber Rider
Opeth liker
gatedropper
Prince of Peace
- Jul 19, 2001
- 2,684
- 2
- 38
Mike and the band walk into a bar. Bartender says "Boys, why the long faces?"
Mike " I just signed with roadrunner and I feel like a horses' ass."
Bartender, " That explains the smell "
Mike " I just signed with roadrunner and I feel like a horses' ass."
Bartender, " That explains the smell "
deliverance
ecnareviled
A doctor goes into the room where a woman is giving birth.
He cuts up the baby and puts its remains in a bag.
It turns out that the woman was having a Still Life.
He cuts up the baby and puts its remains in a bag.
It turns out that the woman was having a Still Life.
R0l0
lol @ opeth tattoos
Åkerfeldt and another man are standing at a big Swedish bus stop. Åkerfeldt's bus arrives and just as he is about the enter, the other man promptly asks Åkerfeldt, "hey, do you know what time it is?". With that Akerfeldt growls in the mans face, "I RECKON IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LEEEEAAAAVEE" and swiftly hops onto the bus which closes its door in the mans face. The perplexed man is left in shock as the bus fades away in the distance...
ho ho hohoho
ho ho hohoho
Moonstruck
The Twilight Is My Robe
- Jan 13, 2004
- 306
- 0
- 16
Saber Rider
Opeth liker
Another morning in the recording studios for Opeth's new album.
Mike, Peter, M.Lo and Per, ready to work see a tired Mendez entering.
Mike: "Hey Martin, what's up? Where have you been man?"
Martin: "Oh well, there was this birthday party last night...'twas pretty fun...got veeeery drunk and all...and finally had some great sex."
M.Lo: "Yeah man, sit down, have a beer with us and tell us what was going on under the blanket!"
Martin: "Uh...yeah, no problem about the beer and telling....but I unfortunately can't sit down now......"
Mike, Peter, M.Lo and Per, ready to work see a tired Mendez entering.
Mike: "Hey Martin, what's up? Where have you been man?"
Martin: "Oh well, there was this birthday party last night...'twas pretty fun...got veeeery drunk and all...and finally had some great sex."
M.Lo: "Yeah man, sit down, have a beer with us and tell us what was going on under the blanket!"
Martin: "Uh...yeah, no problem about the beer and telling....but I unfortunately can't sit down now......"
R0l0
lol @ opeth tattoos
ok this one is cheese but I'm bored:
Stockholm is minutes away from being wiped off the face of the earth as a big meteorite is approaching. Meanwhile, the news breaks out at the big swedish music awards and everyone begins to panic. Suddenly a big swedish genie pops out of nowhere backstage among many swedish music groups and says "oh! all you talented musicians don't deserve to die! say to me where you want to go and I shall teleport you to that location!". So, the big genie floats over to ABBA who say, "HAY LET'S GO TO AMERIYIKA!", and *poof* they vanish. The genie makes it's way around the room teleporting all the biggest names in swedish pop music to their desired locations.
After all is said and done there's no one left in the room except for these 5 hairy guys... some of them don't even look swedish! Confused, the genie doesn't recall ever seeing or hearing of such a group. So he floats up to them and asks, "hay, who the fuck are you guys??"
And to that Akerfeldt steps forward and says "we are Opeth from Stockholm, Sweden" ....
Stockholm is minutes away from being wiped off the face of the earth as a big meteorite is approaching. Meanwhile, the news breaks out at the big swedish music awards and everyone begins to panic. Suddenly a big swedish genie pops out of nowhere backstage among many swedish music groups and says "oh! all you talented musicians don't deserve to die! say to me where you want to go and I shall teleport you to that location!". So, the big genie floats over to ABBA who say, "HAY LET'S GO TO AMERIYIKA!", and *poof* they vanish. The genie makes it's way around the room teleporting all the biggest names in swedish pop music to their desired locations.
After all is said and done there's no one left in the room except for these 5 hairy guys... some of them don't even look swedish! Confused, the genie doesn't recall ever seeing or hearing of such a group. So he floats up to them and asks, "hay, who the fuck are you guys??"
And to that Akerfeldt steps forward and says "we are Opeth from Stockholm, Sweden" ....
