The Opeth joke thread

ok this one is cheese but I'm bored:

Stockholm is minutes away from being wiped off the face of the earth as a big meteorite is approaching. Meanwhile, the news breaks out at the big swedish music awards and everyone begins to panic. Suddenly a big swedish genie pops out of nowhere backstage among many swedish music groups and says "oh! all you talented musicians don't deserve to die! say to me where you want to go and I shall teleport you to that location!". So, the big genie floats over to ABBA who say, "HAY LET'S GO TO AMERIYIKA!", and *poof* they vanish. The genie makes it's way around the room teleporting all the biggest names in swedish pop music to their desired locations.
After all is said and done there's no one left in the room except for these 5 hairy guys... some of them don't even look swedish! Confused, the genie doesn't recall ever seeing or hearing of such a group. So he floats up to them and asks, "hay, who the fuck are you guys??"
And to that Akerfeldt steps forward and says "we are Opeth from Stockholm, Sweden" ....
 
R0l0 said:
ok this one is cheese but I'm bored:

Stockholm is minutes away from being wiped off the face of the earth as a big meteorite is approaching. Meanwhile, the news breaks out at the big swedish music awards and everyone begins to panic. Suddenly a big swedish genie pops out of nowhere backstage among many swedish music groups and says "oh! all you talented musicians don't deserve to die! say to me where you want to go and I shall teleport you to that location!". So, the big genie floats over to ABBA who say, "HAY LET'S GO TO AMERIYIKA!", and *poof* they vanish. The genie makes it's way around the room teleporting all the biggest names in swedish pop music to their desired locations.
After all is said and done there's no one left in the room except for these 5 hairy guys... some of them don't even look swedish! Confused, the genie doesn't recall ever seeing or hearing of such a group. So he floats up to them and asks, "hay, who the fuck are you guys??"
And to that Akerfeldt steps forward and says "we are Opeth from Stockholm, Sweden" ....
Click to expand...


Best joke by far. They certainly are a band proud of their locale, aren't they?
 
k so Mike and the guys are on a quest for the holy grail right? The Opethians are led to a cave and told by their guide, Steven Wilson, that a great demon lies within the cave. Bass player announces that he will slay the demon. Bass player goes up and finds that this demon is only a little creature. Steven Wilson warns him that the creature is extremely powerful. Bass player says "pssh, no he is an easy foe". Bass player is then attacked by said creature and goes down and is ripped to shreds by the creature. Mike looks at the scene laid before him and in anguish over the loss of Bass player screams "DEADLY BADGERS!!"
 
T3hLep4rAffinity said:
What do you call 50 Anders Nordins burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Click to expand...

hahahaha
Where does Spanish Moss come from?


Spain muthafucka!~
So what does that have to do with Spain or Pinafors.
Splain yourself Lucy.
 
A woman is in line at the grocery store putting her groceries on the conveyor belt. Mendez is watching her do this.
She puts down some bacon, eggs and milk on the belt.
Mendez says, "You must be single."
Confused, the woman says, "Well yes I am, but how did you know?"


Mendez replies, "Cause your uglier 'n shit."
 
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