The Whining and Bitching Thread
- Thread starter waif
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divine_torture
leVel
My friends have this whole ordeal going with some chick, and here's the facts:
Bitches are almost NEVER worth the bull shit. They do what they want, and typically don't care about what you feel. Fuck her, dude. She don't want you, then she's not worth your time. Plain and simple
BlackMetalWhiteGuy
Manly Man!
I went into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk, but I wasn't paying attention and it tastes way richer than it should... because I poured myself a glass of half & half.
The most important thing is to keep her attention, but to do so in way that doesn't make her feel like her time is being monopolized. Generally, the easiest way to do this is to keep her laughing, but since you said being funny is your strong point, you probably don't have to practice. Here are some funny gestures to implement at your own discretion, though
I find that going way over the top works really well, because not all women appreciate men trying to be smooth, but you're pretty much guaranteed that they appreciate men who are funny. If you're on the shy side it may not work as well for you, but I'm always very direct and apparently charming enough to get away with saying things like "let's make a baby," or when bragging about my sexual prowess; "I'll show you later." Just be sure that they know you're joking and won't feel threatened by those types of comments, so most Asian girls are probably off limits.
However, here are some less racy maneuvers that are usually pretty WIN in my experience.
1) When preparing to go somewhere (walking), say "shall we go?" and offer your arm to her. Not just your hand, your entire arm. The reasoning behind this is that many women will feel uncomfortable holding hands with a man who they're not actively interested in and consequently will be intimidated by the offer. However, locking arms is such an overly formal and antiquated gesture that most women will appreciate how hilariously out of context it is and accept, although only momentarily. This is a good way to gauge her interest because for starters, it isn't nearly as alienating and uncomfortable if she refuses, but also because you can judge her interest in your based on her follow-up behavior. If she lets go relatively soon afterward, she's probably not interested. However, if she happily clings to your arm and leans into you, then she probably wants to have your babies.
2) When sitting next to her, definitely put your arm around her (judging by her mood of course), but don't try to be sneaky about it and don't be too casual either. Make a spectacle and make it humorous. For example:
You - "Hey, look over there!" *point at something*
Her - "omg, what?" *looking*
You - *put arm behind her*
Yes, it's a TV cliche, but women are stupid for that stuff so go for it. The other cliche of course is to stretch and rest your arm behind her on the rebound. In either case, make sure it's obvious enough that she notices and that she knows it's your intention that she notices. Otherwise, she may not realize you're being silly, and possibly she will become uncomfortable. Once again though, you can roughly judge her interest based upon her reaction. If she doesn't think it's funny, she's not into you; sit next to someone else. If she laughs and later does the same thing to you, she probably wants your babies.
3) "Accidentally," rest your arm on top of hers if the seats in the movie theater have arm rests. Then apologize and if she says it's fine and seems like she might be into you, reply "well in that case" and lightly tickle her knee. Because her legs are below her shoulders, this is more risqué than the previous two moves, so don't try it unless you're confident that she's okay with your forward humor.
4) When things are going well enough that the two of you are comfortable touching each other in a more than "just friends" kind of way but aren't kissing yet, there is a fake kissing technique that is hilarious when it isn't creepy. Huge emphasis though on "when it isn't creepy," so you really need to be confident that you can pull it off without being offensive. This is how it works:
Hold her head in your hands, place your hand over her mouth and then kiss your hand. Obviously you can't just grab her head out of nowhere, you have to build up context first. I'll leave that part to you.
Or you can just lick the side of her face, women don't mind this at all
Sorry that didn't work out for you. How exactly did you behave? Without waiting for a reply though, here are some suggestions.
The most important thing is to keep her attention, but to do so in way that doesn't make her feel like her time is being monopolized. Generally, the easiest way to do this is to keep her laughing, but since you said being funny is your strong point, you probably don't have to practice. Here are some funny gestures to implement at your own discretion, though
I find that going way over the top works really well, because not all women appreciate men trying to be smooth, but you're pretty much guaranteed that they appreciate men who are funny. If you're on the shy side it may not work as well for you, but I'm always very direct and apparently charming enough to get away with saying things like "let's make a baby," or when bragging about my sexual prowess; "I'll show you later." Just be sure that they know you're joking and won't feel threatened by those types of comments, so most Asian girls are probably off limits.
However, here are some less racy maneuvers that are usually pretty WIN in my experience.
1) When preparing to go somewhere (walking), say "shall we go?" and offer your arm to her. Not just your hand, your entire arm. The reasoning behind this is that many women will feel uncomfortable holding hands with a man who they're not actively interested in and consequently will be intimidated by the offer. However, locking arms is such an overly formal and antiquated gesture that most women will appreciate how hilariously out of context it is and accept, although only momentarily. This is a good way to gauge her interest because for starters, it isn't nearly as alienating and uncomfortable if she refuses, but also because you can judge her interest in your based on her follow-up behavior. If she lets go relatively soon afterward, she's probably not interested. However, if she happily clings to your arm and leans into you, then she probably wants to have your babies.
2) When sitting next to her, definitely put your arm around her (judging by her mood of course), but don't try to be sneaky about it and don't be too casual either. Make a spectacle and make it humorous. For example:
You - "Hey, look over there!" *point at something*
Her - "omg, what?" *looking*
You - *put arm behind her*
Yes, it's a TV cliche, but women are stupid for that stuff so go for it. The other cliche of course is to stretch and rest your arm behind her on the rebound. In either case, make sure it's obvious enough that she notices and that she knows it's your intention that she notices. Otherwise, she may not realize you're being silly, and possibly she will become uncomfortable. Once again though, you can roughly judge her interest based upon her reaction. If she doesn't think it's funny, she's not into you; sit next to someone else. If she laughs and later does the same thing to you, she probably wants your babies.
3) "Accidentally," rest your arm on top of hers if the seats in the movie theater have arm rests. Then apologize and if she says it's fine and seems like she might be into you, reply "well in that case" and lightly tickle her knee. Because her legs are below her shoulders, this is more risqué than the previous two moves, so don't try it unless you're confident that she's okay with your forward humor.
4) When things are going well enough that the two of you are comfortable touching each other in a more than "just friends" kind of way but aren't kissing yet, there is a fake kissing technique that is hilarious when it isn't creepy. Huge emphasis though on "when it isn't creepy," so you really need to be confident that you can pull it off without being offensive. This is how it works:
Hold her head in your hands, place your hand over her mouth and then kiss your hand. Obviously you can't just grab her head out of nowhere, you have to build up context first. I'll leave that part to you.
Or you can just lick the side of her face, women don't mind this at all
She informed me via voice mail. It's going to be awkward seeing her again, but I plan to just ask her to forget the whole thing in order to minimize awkwardness.
I already knew this one; it's an excellent technique. Also, I am somewhat confused as to why you are offering me such advice given the situation.
divine_torture
leVel
Because, even though you're a douche bag like the rest of us...you're like the rest of us. Intelligent, overthinking, and into metulz. Despite the spite, we all like each other.
MY BITCH: MY DRUMMER CANNOT DRINK! We bought a couple 40's and a thing of Canadian Mist. He was trashed and threw up after the 40 and 3 or 4 shots. I'm still fucking sober. Ugh.
MY BITCH: MY DRUMMER CANNOT DRINK! We bought a couple 40's and a thing of Canadian Mist. He was trashed and threw up after the 40 and 3 or 4 shots. I'm still fucking sober. Ugh.
divine_torture
leVel
Oh. She turned you down, sure. But that may have only been because she's playing games. Try again. Who knows? Maybe she wants to be chased after. I wouldn't, but I'm jaded when it comes to women.
BlackMetalWhiteGuy
Manly Man!
Because there are other women out there and I assume that you will get past this and meet some of them one day.
-CC-
Something in My Eye
- Jan 12, 2009
- 3,967
- 800
- 113
WAIF you are hopeless! Girl problems again? I think the problem is that you are making it a problem, you are not relaxed and comfortable enough to get a girl..stop trying, and just go with it..if you fail you fail, don't let it get to you..you are becoming a nervous wreck!
BlackMetalWhiteGuy
Manly Man!
WAIF, try jerking off before going out. That way you will be so relaxed that even if you do screw something up, you won't even give a shit. Women love men who don't give a shit, especially if you don't give a shit about them.
Blind Guardian
Member
Evil?
omghaxlol!1
More and more people around here get on my nerves more and more everyday. Half of you guys need to leave and stop posting please. You are allowed to come back and post when I disappear for a few months.
BlackMetalWhiteGuy
Manly Man!
Evil?
omghaxlol!1
I initially meant half of the population, but I now think the latter sounds more interesting. As long as it is the shitty annoying half, I say lets go with that option for now.
Eligos
Problem Yet to be Solved
cookiecutter
Proceed to Ultraslamming
I'm going to disagree with this. She had her shot. If you continue to go after her and she doesn't like you in that way then it will just be demeaning for you and annoying for her. If she is indeed a game player like this then you didn't really miss out on much.
You're 18, you're going to college soon. You've really got nothing to worry about.
Einherjar86
Active Member
Yeah, you'll have plenty of strange beds to wake up in (and living room floors, depending on how hard you party).
She's definitely not a game player, and she definitely doesn't want me to try again. We agreed to just be friends. It was almost eerie how fast shit went back to normal. I walked her home and there was no awkwardness. It was weird, but good, I guess.
This is how I see it.
divine_torture
leVel
Do you ever notice how very insignificant all of our bitching is? We argue about politics, complain about each other's taste in music, get upset about women, etc., etc. But it's really so very meh.
My final bitch: I'm done bitching. I think my 'see through faded, super jaded' mind has hit a breaking point. I looked at my ol' lady and felt nothing. My friends came by and all I could think was "I bet they'd make heavy corpses". I got some sincere smiles from my son, thankfully. But that's it. Ugh.
My final bitch: I'm done bitching. I think my 'see through faded, super jaded' mind has hit a breaking point. I looked at my ol' lady and felt nothing. My friends came by and all I could think was "I bet they'd make heavy corpses". I got some sincere smiles from my son, thankfully. But that's it. Ugh.
