Ever since school got out in May, I've felt like I'm losing interest in music. At first, it was minor. All through June, I would play guitar for three hours every day, but I would hit occasional burnouts.
Now, I don't seem to have much interest in music. I'm playing guitar every day, but only for about a hour. I'm doing this less out of sheer desire than perceived duty; I want to increase my musical abilities whether I enjoy it or not. I'm listening to Watain right now. I'm enjoying it, but passively so. That's how I've felt for the past month. I can hardly remember what it felt like to truly enjoy music. All I remember that it was great. I took it for granted, and it felt mundane. Now, my current lack of interest feels mundane. This makes me wonder if it's just an illusion- maybe I never enjoyed music anymore than I currently do; I'm merely tricking myself into thinking that.
This is really pissing me off. I feel like my worldview is and was rooted in metal. The world revolved around metal to me. Why doesn't it seem that way now? Why would my mind, my greatest fucking ally, do this to itself.
I know that I seem like I'm exaggerating or being overdramatic, but it's hard to explain how I feel without sounding that way.
I'd appreciate some advice, other than "seek mental help" or "stop listening to music".
I'm trying to think of why I feel this way. I was grounded from listening music from March to May because of my grades, however, I still listened to it anyways in secrecy. I don't really believe in karma, I've always thought it was a load of bullshit, but part of my mind thinks that this is the result of karma. I must be a slave to it.