The Whining and Bitching Thread

[Dazed and Brutal]

This. Sorry but you're a reckless mess if you decided hmm heroin sounds good. I can't even comprehend how people get started with some of that shit, I had friends that did it and had no problem saying lol no thanks if they offered. Considering that you do lose control after that moment.

They start with prescription opiates and see it as a cheaper/potent alternative after long enough. There's hardly any meaningful difference between an oxycontin and heroin addiction aside from the risk of adulterants like (fentanyl - which is pharmaceutical).

 

[CiG]

Yeah hardly anybody goes from no drugs to heroine use.

 

[CF87]

Might be time to hit the 12 step meetings before you destroy your liver / kill yourself

What if you were standing and died from liver failure while sweating at the sametime ?

 

[Carpe Mortem]

They start with prescription opiates and see it as a cheaper/potent alternative after long enough. There's hardly any meaningful difference between an oxycontin and heroin addiction aside from the risk of adulterants like (fentanyl - which is pharmaceutical).

I agree, I guess heroin just has a better ring to it than saying hmmm oxycontin sounds good. How does anything you've seen people die from or ruin their lives over sound good?

Makes you wonder how many addicts had addicts in their families before them. I did, and I think it helped steer me away from ever experimenting.

 

[CF87]

They start with prescription opiates and see it as a cheaper/potent alternative after long enough. There's hardly any meaningful difference between an oxycontin and heroin addiction aside from the risk of adulterants like (fentanyl - which is pharmaceutical).

Seen something where a po po was searching someone and the person had fentanyl in their pockets and it absorbed into the dudes skin and the guy died, I guess it gets mixed in with bags of dope either pure or with herion and a lot of people don't know and shoot some bags of it and with that shit you're not suppose to do more than a tad bit of it. It's kind of like people can just smoke some normal weed they have do that spice shit.

 

[The Ozzman]

Also, it's pretty much a cardinal sin to start hanging out with anyone other than your sponsor (and that should be for like a coffee or brunch) outside of rehab/meetings.

Wrong. I barely call my sponsor and only see him at meetings or to do step work. I don't talk to him other than that. You need a support system outside of the program to get through it imo.

 

[tagradh]

People that make out they can play better than they can.

As if you can hide that when you're playing.


8 (((((

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

Wrong. I barely call my sponsor and only see him at meetings or to do step work. I don't talk to him other than that. You need a support system outside of the program to get through it imo.

I agree, but it shouldn't be people in the early throes of recovery

 

[The Ozzman]

I agree, but it shouldn't be people in the early throes of recovery

Are you saying you should ditch friends you made before recovery even if they would help support you? I'm not sure I understand.

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

Are you saying you should ditch friends you made before recovery even if they would help support you? I'm not sure I understand.

Of course not. I'm trying to say that you shouldn't strike up friendships with people you meet at rehab/support groups that extend outside of those contexts. It often leads to enabling. It's up to you to decide whether or not the people you knew prior are supportive of your recovery or not. Obviously, the best kind of support you can get is from the people who've known you the longest.

 

[The Ozzman]

Of course not. I'm trying to say that you shouldn't strike up friendships with people you meet at rehab/support groups that extend outside of those contexts. It often leads to enabling. It's up to you to decide whether or not the people you knew prior are supportive of your recovery or not. Obviously, the best kind of support you can get is from the people who've known you the longest.

Okay, I agree with this 100%. I know people who do this and it seems weird to me that you would want to hang out with those people outside of the small realm of recovery but if you've known them for a while then maybe it works.

 

[CiG]

Recovering addicts should worry less about external support and focus much more on building up an internal strength that they can rely on.

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

Recovering addicts should worry less about external support and focus much more on building up an internal strength that they can rely on.

Well it just depends on the nature of the addiction. A lot of people destroy all their deep interpersonal connections whilst addicted. Obviously, no one has to forgive anyone for the drama that was caused by the addict, but it helps a lot to know people are still there for you. Also people need to respect a persons need for reformation. External support is the most highly effective tool to avoid relapse imo. Loneliness can be a huge reason for relapse.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Recovering addicts should worry less about external support and focus much more on building up an internal strength that they can rely on.

no

 

[CiG]

Speaking as a former addict here, relying too heavily on external support leaves you completely open to enablism, unhealthy pity and the fragility of other people. I've been clean for 7 years so I have complete trust in my method.

Also Dazed you're weirdly conflating not relying on external support with making oneself lonely. That's dumb, I don't think you've thought that through very much.

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

Also Dazed you're weirdly conflating not relying on external support with making oneself lonely. That's dumb, I don't think you've thought that through very much.

I guess I was viewing it through the lens of someone who has brunt a lot of bridges, but didn't really look all that much at what you meant tbh. I agree with your sentiment overall. My personal battle with addiction was long fought and didn't really make any break throughs until I realize I was sabotaging my life. No one should rely on external support for anything though. That would be manipulative and probably the signs of someone too insecure to recover. I'm just saying that you shouldn't marginalize the important of external support if it's the right kind of support. For me, it got to the point where my GF was monitoring my bank statements, without my knowledge, to check if I was withdrawing inordinate sums of money (she has since told me, 3 years, later she would have left if she noticed anything). I was lucky enough to have the people to really reveal what was the good in me and also not put up with any of my bullshit. In the same token I had to self-immolate a lot of friendships to get rid of the bullshit.

 

[CiG]

Whatever works for someone works I suppose. I just see too many people around me (currently a very good friend of mine) relying too much on those around them and then when those people aren't able to be there for them as much as they feel they need, they relapse and spiral.

I personally didn't make any progress until I decided to do away with self-pity (a weapon of mass destruction if ever there was one) and make myself the greatest support I could ever fall back on when times got tough. That doesn't mean I was alone though, but what it did was prepare me for when I would or might be alone, because structuring your recovery on the assumption that people will always be around is naive and dangerous imo.

For me, it got to the point where my GF was monitoring my bank statements, without my knowledge, to check if I was withdrawing inordinate sums of money (she has since told me, 3 years, later she would have left if she noticed anything). I was lucky enough to have the people to really reveal what was the good in me and also not put up with any of my bullshit.

Yes but the point I took from this is that you did it yourself without even knowing this threat (and therefore motivation) existed.

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

Whatever works for someone works I suppose. I just see too many people around me (currently a very good friend of mine) relying too much on those around them and then when those people aren't able to be there for them as much as they feel they need, they relapse and spiral.

I personally didn't make any progress until I decided to do away with self-pity (a weapon of mass destruction if ever there was one) and make myself the greatest support I could ever fall back on when times got tough. That doesn't mean I was alone though, but what it did was prepare me for when I would or might be alone, because structuring your recovery on the assumption that people will always be around is naive and dangerous imo.



Yes but the point I took from this is that you did it yourself without even knowing this threat (and therefore motivation) existed.

I agree with all this. I think there's a fine line between support and being overly dependent. I guess I should have clarified that by support, I meant something closer to tough love not pity and coddling.

 

[CiG]

I agree with all this. I think there's a fine line between support and being overly dependent. I guess I should have clarified that by support, I meant something closer to tough love not pity and coddling.

I think you and zabu misunderstood what I said (seemed like a hair-trigger reaction) which wasn't about having no external support but rather changing your focus on the internal. If you strengthen yourself, external support becomes much more beneficial because you require less from people around you, there's less strain on them in general.

I think we really do live in societies that discourages individual internal self-empowerment.

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

I think we really do live in societies that discourages individual internal self-empowerment.

oh for sure. a lot of people have been conditioned to feel self-victimized at all times.