Welp he full on broke up with me after 2 years, I actually did something wrong and get why he's upset about that, but I genuinely had no idea, I made an idiotic mistake. I'm sure it's still tentative, hopefully not for real. I understand if it is, but I hope that he thinks about it a little more and comes around.
I have BPD so this is hell, feels like the person I was for the past two years is dead.
If things remain how they are, the silver lining is that I'm more free now and maybe hitting an emotional rock bottom will be good for me.