Things that crappy bands do/say that make you go "WTF?!?"

I had a band asking for an "organic and natural feel" in their mix but gave me a huge list of Sturgis-core bands and tell me "you know, that's the sound we're looking for. And, I hate those bands constantly arguing on stuff they don't know.

And the worst for me are those vocalists. You know, those guys with a weakasfuckingshit frylike scream with no power, sounding like a guy who chopped his balls off and tries to talk, and assume that the problem is the mic / preamp and that putting a bit of compression and EQ will solve all their lack of talent.
 
Drummers who turn up with drums that have fucked heads and the kit is out of tune and/or have cracked cymbals.
Bass players who don't understand rhythm or how to lock in with a drummer. They just follow the guitar player.
Vocalists that write melodies that sound exactly like what the guitar is playing.
Guitar players that don't put new strings on.
Bands that ask for you to make them sound like "this band" or make their guitar sound like this guy etc. Dude, you're not them/him, you can barely play in time, nevermind sound that good!
 
You know, we all got into recording to make cool records. Unfortunately, we spend most of our time fixing things & teaching people how to play instruments. Making music seems to be an afterthought.


But here's my absolute favorite WTF moment: It happened last Sunday.

I'm getting quite a bit of video work as of late, and a cover band was referred to me. They want a 90 second promo, and came in to record a few short pieces for a medley.

These are all guys in their mid 40's. Seasoned players who know exactly what the fuck to do.

Here's the WTF: The drummer sat down on the house kit, said, "cool.. I can play this." He hooked up his pedals & proceeded to warm up. When I switched on the mics, well, I'll be fucked, but what came out of the monitors was a damn near perfect facsimile to the snare sound of Metallica's "Unforgiven" off the Black Album.

I've been after a sound like this for damn near forever. I even pestered Slate endlessly about a Black Album snare when he was taking sample suggestions.... and I have a drummer walk in and hand me the sound without any effort on my part.

I've said it a million times: "The Sound is in the Hands." ...and it's nice to get a little vindication from time to time.

I'll have clips up later, after I've completed the project.
 
CubanDude said:
^ guess the reason for the bass player issue is, that most bass player didnt exactly chose to do that job, moreover they wore just the worst guitarist in the band and had to do it. passionated bass players are quite rare.
Click to expand...

Actually the 2 bass players I was thinking of when I put down that post were dedicated bass players, had dumped quit a bit of cash on thier rigs...

So it was mind boggling how fucking shitty they were because the rest of the band was MILES better.
 
Other than everything everyone has already mentioned...I had a very technologically impaired guy come in (a friend of mine) the other day to just record some riffs and mess around. I told him that I got a new PC and some new software that I wanted to try out. He notices the new tower, which was a bit larger in size than the old one, and asks if I can "fit more programs" in the new one. Assuming he's referring to HDD size I say yes, the hard drive is bigger. Come to find out he thinks that the physical size of the tower facilitates me being able to actually put more programs in the computer...seriously. But this is also the guy who I would send link to on Facebook chat and he would go offline for minutes at a time, every time I would send a link, come back on and tell me the link didn't work. Turns out he was writing down the entire URL, not realizing you could just click on it, closing the tab and trying to re-type it in the address bar.
 
Scott Horner said:
Other than everything everyone has already mentioned...I had a very technologically impaired guy come in (a friend of mine) the other day to just record some riffs and mess around. I told him that I got a new PC and some new software that I wanted to try out. He notices the new tower, which was a bit larger in size than the old one, and asks if I can "fit more programs" in the new one. Assuming he's referring to HDD size I say yes, the hard drive is bigger. Come to find out he thinks that the physical size of the tower facilitates me being able to actually put more programs in the computer...seriously. But this is also the guy who I would send link to on Facebook chat and he would go offline for minutes at a time, every time I would send a link, come back on and tell me the link didn't work. Turns out he was writing down the entire URL, not realizing you could just click on it, closing the tab and trying to re-type it in the address bar.
Click to expand...

In 2011, that is unacceptable.
 
Scott Horner said:
Other than everything everyone has already mentioned...I had a very technologically impaired guy come in (a friend of mine) the other day to just record some riffs and mess around. I told him that I got a new PC and some new software that I wanted to try out. He notices the new tower, which was a bit larger in size than the old one, and asks if I can "fit more programs" in the new one. Assuming he's referring to HDD size I say yes, the hard drive is bigger. Come to find out he thinks that the physical size of the tower facilitates me being able to actually put more programs in the computer...seriously. But this is also the guy who I would send link to on Facebook chat and he would go offline for minutes at a time, every time I would send a link, come back on and tell me the link didn't work. Turns out he was writing down the entire URL, not realizing you could just click on it, closing the tab and trying to re-type it in the address bar.
Click to expand...

hahaha

is your friend 80 years old?
 
Folkrav said:
And the worst for me are those vocalists. You know, those guys with a weakasfuckingshit frylike scream with no power, sounding like a guy who chopped his balls off and tries to talk, and assume that the problem is the mic / preamp and that putting a bit of compression and EQ will solve all their lack of talent.
Click to expand...

Can't stand these guys! They always blame everything on the mic/preamp/volume! When they say this shit to me i immediately walk to the mic and proceed with actual real screaming and show them its set up right.
 
Erratic said:
^^

Winning!
Click to expand...

haha seriously, though. Those vocalists piss me off. I was in a band with a guy like that. Lets just say that my back up vocals/screams ALWAYS over powered his. Mind you, we both had same mics and settings for practice and same volume settings on the preamp. haha
 
metalmonster34 said:
haha seriously, though. Those vocalists piss me off. I was in a band with a guy like that. Lets just say that my back up vocals/screams ALWAYS over powered his. Mind you, we both had same mics and settings for practice and same volume settings on the preamp. haha
Click to expand...

Funny thing is that when I do, I only growl, I wouldn't imagine their faces if I did a painful scream Luc Lemay Style ahahha, I'll try it next time! ahahah
 
TaylorG said:
In 2011, that is unacceptable.
Click to expand...

I know. And then I was trying to explain something, non audio related, to him later and he was all like, "I'm not a complete idiot. I know how computers work." I'm going to have to disagree there, buddy.

sopulurn said:
hahaha

is your friend 80 years old?
Click to expand...

Ha, he's only a few years older than me. I think he's 31.
 
haha now that I remembered, no lie I once was in a room with a guitarist about to do a live session. He was warming up by playing his electric guitar UNPLUGGED at first. I remember he said, "damn, yo, my guitar sounds like crap right now. Let me adjust the tone." He then proceeded with turning his guitar's tone knob up and then strummed the guitar and said "Now it sounds better." I was like are you SERIOUS???!! The guitar wasn't plugged in and he actually thought it changed the sound of his unplugged guitar!!!!
 
AD Chaos said:
I was talking with some AE about these same things, he was telling me about how he goes around it:

Whenever I have a new client, I sort of 'audition' them beforehand. I sit them down, explain to them how I want to listen to their material first and give them advice, to see if they're ready to record YET, or not. I do this for free; this gives them confidence in my work ethics, they become much more receptive to what I have to say, and also shows them I'm not just about charging them $$$ and be done with it, but how I'm truly interested in creating a quality product along with them. Very often I'll send them to rehearse for at least a couple of weeks.. saves a ton hours of editing, re-tracking etc, and mainly, a lot of headaches. Of course sometimes they will suck so bad, it is better to just let them go.
Click to expand...

I learned to do this as well. It only took one time for a band to come in and say "hey can you help us write the rest of this song?" for me to make sure they had their shit together beforehand. Also, make sure, DAMN SURE they have half of the cost of recording to hand you the first day or else you may not get paid after slaving over the songs for a week...
 
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