Viking mythology and all that goes with it

[Tyra]

Thanks for answering Tyra.

I have another question: Does anyone know how to tell someone who is homosexual to get off your back? I had this guy come into where I work earlier....and he would not get a fucking hint...so yeah, advice would be appreciated!

Co-worker or customer/client?
(Why am I answering??? I keep getting guys that hit on me when I am with my husband, and they don't seem to bugger off until he tells them to, even when I ask them not-so-politely to "Dude, Fuck the hell off already!" Now if they're women, I set my bisexual friend on them, and then she has sex with them in my place. Don't suppose you have any gay friends you can hook the dude up with?)

This reminds me of a funny Johan story!!! Totally off topic, but none the less... So I'm 17, on the beach in Spain (Ikki - it was Torrevieja) wearing nothing but a bikini, big blue eyes and very, very long blonde hair. The beach is mostly empty, since it's so not a tourist town, except for these African dudes (Celtik and Krigloch would love them - NOT!!) that smuggle their wares across the Sound of Gibraltar and then wander the beaches selling their cheap junk to stupid tourists. Well, there I was, all alone, with no parents. Next thing you know these dudes are all over me like fat kids on Smarties. The pick-up lines are flying, even though they barely speak English, I tell them to fuck off, but some of them get very fresh, groping and such, and I get pissed. Suddenly there is dead silence, and they all suddenly stare at something in terror (I didn't know what it was, cuz I was surrounded and my view was blocked...). Then the crowd opens up, kind of like the parting of the Dead Sea, and here comes Johan - who had been swimming, which is why I was on the beach, cuz I was supposed to be watching him. Johan was barely a teenager, but still tall enough to dwarf them. You could hear a pin drop, I swear, and then finally one of the dudes decided so grab some balls and pipe up "Is THAT your boyfriend??". I proudly - and loudly - answered "No, he's even worse...he's MY BROTHER!!! Damn, that was the fastest I have ever seen a beach empty, ever! The End.

 

[Pessimism]

Co-worker or customer/client?
(Why am I answering??? I keep getting guys that hit on me when I am with my husband, and they don't seem to bugger off until he tells them to, even when I ask them not-so-politely to "Dude, Fuck the hell off already!" Now if they're women, I set my bisexual friend on them, and then she has sex with them in my place. Don't suppose you have any gay friends you can hook the dude up with?)

This reminds me of a funny Johan story!!! Totally off topic, but none the less... So I'm 17, on the beach in Spain (Ikki - it was Torrevieja) wearing nothing but a bikini, big blue eyes and very, very long blonde hair. The beach is mostly empty, since it's so not a tourist town, except for these African dudes (Celtik and Krigloch would love them - NOT!!) that smuggle their wares across the Sound of Gibraltar and then wander the beaches selling their cheap junk to stupid tourists. Well, there I was, all alone, with no parents. Next thing you know these dudes are all over me like fat kids on Smarties. The pick-up lines are flying, even though they barely speak English, I tell them to fuck off, but some of them get very fresh, groping and such, and I get pissed. Suddenly there is dead silence, and they all suddenly stare at something in terror (I didn't know what it was, cuz I was surrounded and my view was blocked...). Then the crowd opens up, kind of like the parting of the Dead Sea, and here comes Johan - who had been swimming, which is why I was on the beach, cuz I was supposed to be watching him. Johan was barely a teenager, but still tall enough to dwarf them. You could hear a pin drop, I swear, and then finally one of the dudes decided so grab some balls and pipe up "Is THAT your boyfriend??". I proudly - and loudly - answered "No, he's even worse...he's MY BROTHER!!! Damn, that was the fastest I have ever seen a beach empty, ever! The End.

That is a badass story; my brother used to use me to get women to talk to him (16 year age difference hehe).

But yeah, this guy came in to where I work (my college) for help on his paper - so, I help him set up an outline (as is my job) and he goes into how America sucks compared to Europe (I agreed with him at this point) and how his family in Greece and Egypt are Royalty (he had a massive Emerald on his hand...doesn't mean anything though). But yeah...after that he was telling me to 'live my scandinavian roots' and go crazy in bed and shit, and trying to goad me into to telling him the length of my member - I tried ditching him at my bosses office and he actually waited outside. Now he has my number (I'm a tutor, so I keep it listed...). I actually ended up loosing him when I went into the schools foodcourt, as he said he didn't want to go in because of the "commoners".

He even saw me kiss my girlfriend! I mean GOD DAMN. I don't care if he can speak 8 languages, is royalty, and whatever else he can do - I'm not friggen gay >_< (not homophobic either...but the last time a dude hit on me was 3 years ago at a resturant, asking me if I wanted to try his steak....I fucking ran away).

 

[Ikki]

Now to be the Devil's advocate (no pun intended): The Christians are not the first to ever have borrowed from other religions and cultures. Their religion is "only" 2000 years old, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Mixing and borrowing and mingling for religion have taken place much earlier and over much longer periods of time than a puny 2000 years. Religion is the original "powertool", and so, in all fairness, we can't really call them bastards before we look to our own ancestors before them. Or as they would say "Judge not lest ye can be judged".

(Eeew, I just quoted the Bible...Oh well, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, eh?)

haha, i´m do not focus my anger only in X-tians, i do not like monotheistic( not sure if this word exists,too lazy to search)..but..x-tianity is what bothers me most now and then because it´s well spread in here, and only few years that it´s not compulsory to follow..and because when i was kid i had few "bad" encounters with religion teachers and priests...so yeap, for me x-tians,mostly, are bastards, although pure x-tianity is just a not so bad way of thinking...

However, regarding the feasts, well, another question: is your midsummer feats supposed to be more like, erhh, celebrated in public, with comunity, and winter´s in more familiar way?...i´m building my theories...

by the way, it´s time you post us your PO BOX and we send you like something in exchange for using you as an open book..haha...

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

So if I throw a really expensive party and hand out really expensive gifts, all these people that I invite will be tied to me, beholden or indebted to me. They will then have to do my bidding. I will be their boss, they will have to defend me and expand my territory,

Good idea.

Besides, you understand of course why I'm concerned with little sister. I pity most Swedish men who act like total desperate dorks when they want "something" - and from what I can gather "we're" nothing compared to Turks, Italians etc. I like the idea of the Burkha though...

 

[Tyra]

...from what I can gather "we're" nothing compared to Turks, Italians etc...

Understatement of the year.:Smug: It is when I am exposed to those kinds of men that I wish we were into burkas, too. Mind you, I'd have to wear one of those big black tents, too, so they couldn't make out my ass and such, either. But then again, a chick being butt-ugly never seemed to stop any true Italian from pursuing...ahum..."something", so why should a burka and a big black tent dress?

You see what I mean about how a feast can become a power tool, though? Add religion to it, and - PRESTO! - you have Christmas.

 

[Pessimism]

^I'm totally lost

 

[Tyra]

^ Welcome to my world... ;-)

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

And btw, thank you for that thing with the guys, you know at the place.

 

[Larsson]

^Åååååååh, show me, show me!!!!! Not that I am into beastiality, but I am writing some stuff to do with ritual homosexuality (WARNING: do not f***ing ask or I'll never shut up!!!), and I have been trying to find anything relating to the topic of "what's abnormal to us isn't necessarily abnormal to others". This would really help!
Since I have not seen the picture stones you're refering to, I can tell you this: On petroglyphs (hällristningar) at Tanum (Vitlycke, specifically) and Sagaholm, there are depictions of beastiality. It has been assumed that this is a depiction of a male god having sexual relations with a female goddess, who's turned herself into an animal. That theory stands today because there are many stories in ethnography and in many other ancient Indo-European religions that go along those lines. In other words, the beastiality depicted was a divine act, a symbol for fertility, part of religion and not necesarily an actual real practise among the people. Ancient Indo-European religions oftentimes contain stories of the world being created by the Goddess as a result of such coitus. Those depictions (petroglyphs from Tanum and Sagaholm etc) are of a much older date than the Iron Age picture stones, though (appx 7000 years old).
The horse was a holy animal for many Indo-European peoples throughout a long period of pre-history. The Celts, Norse and Kurgans to name a few buried their rich with their horses as a sign of status, and before them, it seems the horse had a religious meaning. The horse was pivotal for human cultural development for many reasons, so it is understandable that it was a very highly prized animal. Those societies that learned to use the horse early on were able to evolve culturally in a way that others could not, so therein lies some of the fundamentals of why some cultures seem to rule the world while some drag behind, so to speak. Some scholars even claim that the whole reason the Indo-Europeans could conquer Europe was becuase they were the first to use a stirrup (stigbygel). With the stirrup, a small troop could, for the first time in history, controll large masses of people, making it possible for one ruler to control a large area and wage battle with only a small amount of retainers. What I am getting at with all this horse stuff is only that the horse was incredibly important both in a very practical way and in a ritual way, so it would not be out of context to depict a man with a large fallos coupling with a horse for several reasons.

Now we've really "fucked" this thread up, in more ways than one! ;-)
-T

I really don't remember. It was a tv-show I saw a few years ago about pagan cultures. I remeber the Celts where into this sort of stuff to apparently.

I really can't elaborate, as I'm in a bad mood because the cops just called and told my brothers been cought for shoplifting. In the midst of my yearly winter depression no less(6 hours of daylight)...

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

What did he steal?

 

[Larsson]

0.5 kg of fucking candy! One could argue ''that's not so bad'' but I don't agree because stealing candy is just dumb. I'd be more understanding if he actually stole something he can't afford, I would not approve and I would of course still be as dissapointed.

Oh well, If he stays at that the legal consequences won't be to bad, at least.

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

I have a friend who stole 24 kg of mandelmassa. I guess I don't really have to add anything to that hahaha.

 

[Larsson]

I have a friend who stole 24 kg of mandelmassa. I guess I don't really have to add anything to that hahaha.

Im sitting here trying to come up with something to type.


...I give up

 

[Pessimism]

My gods, that's like stealing 7 newborn infants!

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

Thing is though, he got caught. ANd the Socialen got on his ass big time.

 

[Alakine]

Okay. First Id like to ask for any good Norse mythology books you guys have seen. I can recommend :

The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Holland.



On that, In "down the slopes of death" the line :

Iormundr's brother will fall.

Who the hell is Iormundr?? I cant find anything on him, mabye its a poor translation or spelling but im stumped. any ideas?

 

[Tyra]

If you want to google it, try spelling it with a J. It's another name for Odin, just like Grim and Grimnir and Hangatyr and so on. Use the search engine on this page if you want. I know we've discussed this at some lenght before, and I think it's in the "Viking mythology and all that goes with it " thread, but I'm not sure.

 

[Tyra]

Oh fuck! I am just killing myself laughing at that! I would imagine it'd be hard to manage a clean getaway with 24 kgs of almond paste. Duh. I can understand why you'd want to do that, though, cuz Swedish almond paste is pretty damn good (and nothing like North American almond paste, either, in case anyone cares...).
When I lived in Sweden, I knew "someone" who arrested a Finnish Gypsy woman who'd passed out cuz she stuffed a frozen turkey under her hoop-skirt, sending her into shock before getting out of the store with it...Double Duh.

Larsson, that sucks about your brother, though. How old is he? It wasn't some sort of stupid dare or initiation of some kind, was it? I suppose that in a way, it may be a good thing he got caught now - hopefully he'll be scared shitless and not do it again because of it.

 

[Sleipnir]

If you want to google it, try spelling it with a J. It's another name for Odin, just like Grim and Grimnir and Hangatyr and so on. Use the search engine on this page if you want. I know we've discussed this at some lenght before, and I think it's in the "Viking mythology and all that goes with it " thread, but I'm not sure.

Yes T, I believe we did...the lyrics in question are as follows.....


Today he'll draw his final breath
The wisest God of all
His son will avenge his death
Iormundr's brother will fall


His son...being Vidar...avenges Odins death by killing Iormund's brother, Iormunder being Jormungand, and his brother being the Fenris wolf who kills Odin.

 

[TheLastWithPaganBlood]

Thing about the almond past is, I think it was an act of revenge. Cause he doesnt like it. And I sure as hell don't like it. And noone else in our gnag likes it that much either. At least not 24 kgs. I think the baker didn't let him smoke in his bakery or something. Funny guy...