We all live dreaming, so... post here your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams!

[|ngenius]

I've been saying that I want to move to Sweden for a while now as well. But I'm starting to feel like no matter where I am, I will still run into the same difficulties. So I decided to just work on making myself stronger instead of moving. I seem to notice a lot of problems in the world that no one else thinks is a problem. It is depressing at times.

Well, that's partially right, imo. The fact is that, due to a bunch of circumstances, maybe I'll get to Sweden this next summer too, so I've been reckoning about the very same thing for months.

"No matter where I am, I will still run into the same difficulties". Of course, it depends on which kind of difficulties we're talking about, but your time and location are strong influences in your way of life, for sure (aside from your personality that, obviously, is also involved). The times we're living are pretty different, in general patterns, from the times my parents lived 30 years ago. And the same general lines changes substantially depending on the country you're living in, and even the region counts.

Concluding, you should not forget to work hard on yourself, improving and growing within. But there are external factors maybe you're not satisfied with. And then you better pay attention to a brilliant Rudyard Kipling's phrase: "God gave me me the courage to change those things I can't accept, accept those that I can't change, and the wisdom to appreciate the difference". Attend to both sides, your inner improvement and your interaction with your particular reality. We're not necessarily forced to accept the world as it apparently is, we ought seek our own voice. (Er... and that doesn't mean that you should kill every dog in the world if you don't like dogs, i.e ).


|ngenius.

 

[Onyx]

|ngenius: feelings do differ because of their subjective nature, but I have a belief that every person has someone that is assigned for him; there is a number of people that one can get on well with, but the relations with that special person are particular...peculiar...unique... It is hard to explain. Maybe you will feel it someday.
I've always feared that love cannot actually last forever, as we are mortal. But then I confided in my own feelings, and now I do not fear that someday it will end; I feel that it depends on me. If I (and the one I love) keep it forever, it will live forever.
Yes, we can live without love. But live without love is incomplete somehow; you will understand it when you find your true love...

rahvin: dear, I am not "he". I am female. Is this not apparent from my avatar?

Dark_Jester: the black-haired males with fair complection are quite attractive, to my mind. Although, red-haired ones are fine-looking, too. Anyway, I enjoy watching a male with long hair, if it matches him.

 

[Siren]

Onyx: maybe your title should be Succubus then? Not that i would know much about it...

Also, i'd like to point out, that imo, even when the relationship with the (so called) soulmate is broken (and i say so called, because often, he who is a soulmate at one point of our lives, at another point could seize to be such), the feeling of love could remain for years after, or even forever.
This meaning, that maybe we should make a separation between the relationship with the loved one and the actual feeling of Love towards him.

 

[Dark_Jester]

Onyx: Check out my latest at the picture thread :Smokedev:

 

[Sunjammer]

Sunjammer: yep, and be ready, or you will be startled greatly...

I probably will be. It'll probably come to me when my schedule is filled to the brim too.

 

[Tebus]

@ |ngenius: You're points are all well taken. I shouldn't say that I have personal difficulties no matter where I am. I guess I mean that the problems I see in the world will always be there, no matter where I go. Although, those problems are extremely dominant in the US with our very superficial society. Soilworker's Song of the Damned fits the way I feel about the world really well though.

The part you mentioned about always trying to improve yourself is definitely something that I am ALWAYS doing. I always try to be as selfless and open-minded as possible, and always humble as well. I find that getting angry or selfish in a difficult situation NEVER makes anything better.

 

[|ngenius]

It's more a matter of self-criticism than merely humbleness. Everybody knows that I am very close to perfection, fact that leaves a room to keep on improving. See? Humbleness has no sense at all.

Well, seriously, perhaps you won't change the whole world, and possibly it will keep on spinning the same way no matter who or where you are. But the fact is that it won't change specially if we do nothing to change those things we disagree with. That's why I pointed out those internal and external sides of our personal world, both equally significant in our lives.


|ngenius.

 

[Siren]

I probably will be. It'll probably come to me when my schedule is filled to the brim too.

Oh well, it either comes when you least expect it, or when you least want it, heh.

 

[Tebus]

It's more a matter of self-criticism than merely humbleness. Everybody knows that I am very close to perfection, fact that leaves a room to keep on improving. See? Humbleness has no sense at all.

Well, seriously, perhaps you won't change the whole world, and possibly it will keep on spinning the same way no matter who or where you are. But the fact is that it won't change specially if we do nothing to change those things we disagree with. That's why I pointed out those internal and external sides of our personal world, both equally significant in our lives.


|ngenius.

Oh I know exactly what you're saying. Humble probably wasn't the right notion there, self-criticism is better. But being humble in addition to that is important. It's certianly an issue I've thought about, as well, where nothing will change if we do nothing to initiate a change. In the past, I've kind of kept all of my thoughts to myself. But I've been sharing my thoughts a lot more the last year or so. It's all very interesting.

 

[rahvin]

rahvin: dear, I am not "he". I am female. Is this not apparent from my avatar?

i rarely base my gender inferences from avatars, you'd find some quite peculiar choices if you look around - especially on other boards.
sorry, anyway.

rahvin.

 

[mousewings]

Yep, with my current avatar it's hard to guess my gender. Previous ones may have made it easier.

@Onyx: I know I can't be sure, but recently, I really am unsure... My nickname is a long story. Usually, I say it means nothing, but to give the full details: I have a doll which is a mouse with wings, so I shortened the name to "mousewings" to present the doll, and later myself. The name is also a reference to vampire bats/flying mice/general mice all of which I think are beautiful creatures. It also represents myself in a lot of ways, "flying/dreaming/escape" hence the wings. Also "mouse" is my nickname sometimes, so it's a longer form. Generally my alias just fits me. Not sure if it all made sense

I know what you mean when there are problems that no one else notices except yourself. And then it seems like you have no one to relate to. It gets so frustrating, and yes, DEPRESSING.

I can relate. I sometimes feel so very alone, even if I know there are people who care about me... It is depressing. I have problems which few people know about, and of those that do, fewer understand or try to support me emotionally even when I so badly need it at times. I do get through and do the best I can...

As for moving to Sweden, or anywhere, I would... but only if I have the right reasons (reason) to... Maybe someday.

 

[Sunjammer]

Oh well, it either comes when you least expect it, or when you least want it, heh.

Murphy's Law, eh? "If anything can go wrong, it will..."

 

[Tebus]

I can relate. I sometimes feel so very alone, even if I know there are people who care about me... It is depressing. I have problems which few people know about, and of those that do, fewer understand or try to support me emotionally even when I so badly need it at times. I do get through and do the best I can...

I know exactly what you're saying. There are only a couple people that I talk to when I have a personal problem of some kind. But I've decided to stop looking for support from other people anymore, because, if I only used other people for support, I don't know what I would do if no one was ever around. So I've been finding ways to deal with my problems on my own. But my own problems don't really depress me anymore, because I've already wasted enough time being down about things. So I am much better at taking whatever hand gets dealt, and really just looking at it as an opportunity be improve myself.

Like I said in a previous post though, I only get somewhat frustrated about where the world is going. People seem too self-indulgent for anything productive in the world to happen. It's reassuring that I have, in the last year, talked to a couple people that notice the same thing. So that is somewhat promising.

 

[Siren]

Murphy's Law, eh? "If anything can go wrong, it will..."

Exactly, so watch out.

I can relate. I sometimes feel so very alone, even if I know there are people who care about me... It is depressing. I have problems which few people know about, and of those that do, fewer understand or try to support me emotionally even when I so badly need it at times. I do get through and do the best I can...

Exactly, this is more or less what happens to me too.
I do have friends, ppl i talk to in rl, but i feel none of them trully understands me, hence they can't (sometimes they're not even willing to) offer me the comfort i need.
Some of my net friends do understand what i'm talking about and can really be there for me, but they're so far away to offer any kind of physical comfort...
So i end up feeling very alone... I think this is the core of my depression in the end.. =/


As for what Tebus said, i think it's all very interesting and many of those things i often ponder about.



Siren (exactly)

 

[Incendiare]

Yeah, everyone is exactly right. I tend to get frustated at times when people expect you to help them with their problems, but don't even attempt to help you with your own. Not that the whole world has to be "if you scratch my back, I'll crack yours". But it seems almost immoral for you to be empathetic and get nothing in return.

You know how it's like, when you have a bad day and the last thing you need is someone asking you stupid questions or being totally ignorant. So your approach would be "If you give me a stupid question, I'll give you a stupid answer" and then you're looked upon as a bitch for it. That's exactly what happened to me today. Well sorry, but if someone would have half the decency, they would understand.

 

[|ngenius]

Let me be ironic this time:

"But I've decided to stop looking for support from other people anymore, because, if I only used other people for support, I don't know what I would do if no one was ever around." (Originally posted by Tebus)

Have you decided to stop buying food at the supermarket to get prepared for a nuclear war or the life in a desert? The wise choice is accept those good things in life, to deny them perhaps makes you "stronger", but not happier at all.

" I tend to get frustated at times when people expect you to help them with their problems, but don't even attempt to help you with your own." (Originally posted by Incendiare)

Uncomprehension that leads you to frustration, sadness, solitude. I think the main question we should ponder about is: what can we do? By barking back at them, like Incendiare suggested as a countermeasure against the so-called "ignorants", won't be so useful in a pragmatic field, me thinks. What if we do our best towards everyone in our life without expect something in exchange? (As always, it doesn't mean that you should become the Mother Teresa).


|ng.

 

[Incendiare]

Yeah, I didn't exactly mean it in that way though. I don't go around snapping at people, because it's unnecessary. That's why I said I DON'T expect this world to be "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". I'm more than happy to help people out with their problems.

You know how it is. When people are having a day filled with cotton candy, puppy dogs, and rainbows, they assume you would be to. Then they would take your negativity more seriously than what you originally intend.

 

[Tebus]

Have you decided to stop buying food at the supermarket to get prepared for a nuclear war or the life in a desert? The wise choice is accept those good things in life, to deny them perhaps makes you "stronger", but not happier at all.

Well I obviously can't live without food, but I see your point. I don't think there is necessarily any harm in getting help from others. But nor do I think it's good to depend on it. I have found ways of dealing with things on my own, without burdening other people with my feelings. I haven't totally gotten it down yet, but I've certainly gained a lot of insight and made progress.

What if we do our best towards everyone in our life without expect something in exchange?

I try.

You know how it's like, when you have a bad day and the last thing you need is someone asking you stupid questions or being totally ignorant. So your approach would be "If you give me a stupid question, I'll give you a stupid answer" and then you're looked upon as a bitch for it. That's exactly what happened to me today. Well sorry, but if someone would have half the decency, they would understand.

I've had that happen many times. I try to hold back my own complaints though and just let them rattle off their problems. It is definitely NOT easy though.

 

[Incendiare]

I've had that happen many times. I try to hold back my own complaints though and just let them rattle off their problems. It is definitely NOT easy though.

Yeah, there is no sense in complaining anyway. I keep quiet the majority of the time.

Is it healthy keeping things bottled up inside? The most logical answer to that would be "no", but yet it's hard not to keep it inside if you have no one to talk to.

 

[Tebus]

@Incendiare: To me it's not so much of an issue of keeping it inside, as putting your feelings to good use. For example I ponder my feelings for a while and learn from them, or maybe write a song around them. If someone is around that I can talk to, I like to discuss the issue to see what that person thinks is a good way to look at the situation. But I try not to become depressed about my feelings, which is usually associated with bottling them inside. I just try to feel content with my situation and grow from learn from it.

But I DO relate with what you're saying. It certainly has caused pain for me.