You laugh, you lose

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Man, Catullus is totally awesome:

I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius,
You who think, because my verses
Are delicate, that I am immodest.
For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste
Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so.
Verses which then have taste and charm,
If they are delicate and sexy,
And can incite an itch,
And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
Who can't get their flaccid dicks up.
You, because you have read of my thousand kisses,
You think I'm a sissy?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.