You laugh, you lose

[The Ozzman]

Sperms need an egg to become a baby, mate.

Stop being literal, mate

 

[CiG]

I'm not being literal, the meme actually says "technically" so it was their own literalness that ruined the fairly already played out joke.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

Employee arrested after racist graffiti, arson at Kansas City church

Nelson told investigators that at some point after breaking into the vending machines he left the church to purchase additional crack cocaine from the same source. Nelson told investigators that after he purchased approximately four additional crack rocks he again returned back to the church to get high. Nelson said he only paid $75 for the additional crack cocaine with the promise that he would provide his source $200 in food stamps at a later time.

 

[no country for old wainds]

https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/938213227074408448

merry christmas

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

 

[Burkhard]

I guess this doesn't require any translation, does it?

 

[Cronopio]

I guess this doesn't require any translation, does it?

LOL

Reminds me of Nichtlustig, which I assume you're familiar with.

 

[Burkhard]

LOL

Reminds me of Nichtlustig, which I assume you're familiar with.

Your assumption is correct, though I have to say that I found Nichtlustig getting somewhat repetitive after a while.
The cartoon I posted is by a guy called Ralph Ruthe. But my overall favourite German cartoonist is Martin Perscheid. He sometimes reminds me of Gary Larson (whose cartoons I like very much), but Perscheid's humour is often probably more "drastic".

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/...rst-album-in-country-music-history-full-stop/

Greatest music review ever.

Fuck this album, I’m sorry. I would rather personally watch my male genitalia cleaved clean off my abdomen with the combination of a rusty maul and a frozen sledge hammer, then strapped up with a Go Pro and my eyes clamped open and forced to watch on a monitor as a carrion bird carries it far away before ultimately descending into some foul-drenched alleyway drowning in refuse to vulturously pull at the bloody and putrefying flesh with its beak and talons, only to regurgitate it hours later after it’s marinated in the most vile hell of scavenger digestive juices, to then be re-consumed eventually by an emaciated mongrel and vomited up again in the middle of the road, and trundled over by heavy vehicles so many times it becomes no more discernible from a spot of grease discarded from the undercarriage of a Toyota than listen to one more electronically-derived and idiotically conceived millisecond of Walker Hayes’ Boom.

 

[The Butt]

I got curious and listened to a few songs from that album.

My life feels significantly and measurably worse as a result. Thanks, asshole.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

I got curious and listened to a few songs from that album.

My life feels significantly and measurably worse as a result. Thanks, asshole.

You were warned

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

James Joyce’s Love Letters to His “Dirty Little Fuckbird”

8 December 1909: 44 Fontenoy Street, Dublin

My sweet little whorish Nora,

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

@arg I take it Joyce is your favorite writer?

 

[arg]

that gave me a boner

 

[Burkhard]

More of this.

 

[Burkhard]

http://www.the-postillon.com/2018/02/vw-executives-hope-public-never-finds.html

http://www.the-postillon.com/2016/12/world-first-specialist.html

 

[tagradh]

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

https://www.facebook.com/whatdidiju...EFKS8J8clJ-V0PN_tFT3b2olIfkrogkYEYNum9jVZCRDU

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

 

[Burkhard]

No knowledge of German required for this clip: