chat, feelings, and random discussion thread

[Hiljainen]

no, but it's a difficult moment and i have a bad feeling, and the little experience i have taught me that bad feelings are rarely wrong.

 

[Magrathean]

If you would elaborate, maybe i could help you out. If you don't want to, i understand. Meanwhile, i'll just say that maybe it's something you can work out. In the past, i had a lot of bad feelings too. With time i've learned that getting all depressive about them doesn't help (quite on the contrary, actually) and that sometimes difficult situations have solutions. Especially lately i have confirmed that. Look: if your problem has a solution, don't worry, you'll find the solution; if it doesn't, worrying won't help in the least. Cheer up, mate.

 

[hyena]

Well, I'm done writing one of the three pieces I was supposed to compose before Tuesday. I was hoping that today I could be done with number two too, but I don't see that happening. I will therefore desert the computer for the next three hours, proceeding (in this order) to have lunch, take care of washup and other menial tasks, go for a run, have a long shower. Then it's back to work, or at least I hope.

 

[Hiljainen]

If you would elaborate, maybe i could help you out. If you don't want to, i understand. Meanwhile, i'll just say that maybe it's something you can work out. In the past, i had a lot of bad feelings too. With time i've learned that getting all depressive about them doesn't help (quite on the contrary, actually) and that sometimes difficult situations have solutions. Especially lately i have confirmed that. Look: if your problem has a solution, don't worry, you'll find the solution; if it doesn't, worrying won't help in the least. Cheer up, mate.

thanks and you're right, i just tend to panick when there are possibilities of stuff i care for going down the drain. there are solutions, just it doesn't depend much on me and my boyfriend, but more on surrounding people putting a lot of stress both on me and him, this because they have a lot of stress upon themselves already. this is the first time i feel a relationship is really working and i wouldn't like another "i can't win" feeling.

 

[RampageSword]

@Hiljainen : First of all, hello! haven't seen you in a while on the board.

Secondly, this stress you and your boyfriend suffer I figure is about your relation? If it is, the only thing I can say is that the two things you have to trust in such a situation is what you think (as long as you're not lying to yourself) and how you feel. Don't let yourself be strangled by exterior opinions.

 

[Hiljainen]

@Hiljainen : First of all, hello! haven't seen you in a while on the board.

Secondly, this stress you and your boyfriend suffer I figure is about your relation? If it is, the only thing I can say is that the two things you have to trust in such a situation is what you think (as long as you're not lying to yourself) and how you feel. Don't let yourself be strangled by exterior opinions.

a lot of things, there's university, the school system is crap, they reduced the course from 5 years to 3 keeping about the same amount of exams, then we're going to master in different things so there's also the hope to find the courses we want without ending up very far from each other. there's always too little time. then there is his mother who really is passing a difficult moment and has angry outbursts for little matters, she wants the best for her son obviously, but keeping to tell him that he doesn't do enough doesn't help, especially since he's about to have an article about entomology published and it's a great thing considering he's only 21. plus several minor things.
these are not huge things, i know, but i'm afraid the sum of all is bringing him, and thus me, down.
the relationship itself is fine, but stress does a lot of damage, and i'm afraid i'm not doing enough to help: i can stand pressure, but add the fear of losing someone i care for and i crumble and become useless.

ok, enough with verbal diarrhea now

 

[Magrathean]

Hilj:

Verbal diarrhea is good. It helps you get things out and feel better after long rants, and it helps us understand better your situation so we can do a better job at helping you.

I have nothing new to say, but, as others said, don't let anything external to the relationship affect the relationship in any way. Try to do your best at uni (both of you); your future depends on that. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if you have to sacrifice a few hours/days/weeks of seeing each other if you use those hours/days/weeks to do better at uni; you'll have more than enough time to make up for it afterwards.

That having been said, cheer up and don't worry too much about stuff that's out of your control. And smile. I'm sure your boyfriend likes you better when you do.

 

[Hiljainen]

Try to do your best at uni (both of you); your future depends on that. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if you have to sacrifice a few hours/days/weeks of seeing each other if you use those hours/days/weeks to do better at uni; you'll have more than enough time to make up for it afterwards.

sure i fully agree, my point was simply that between uni and working at the lab the time is less than, say, a year ago. but i don't mean to spend half of my life in uni or to graduate with crappy grades

 

[incendo]

Feeling: I had been having so much problems with my university for 2 months. And now it's all gone. I'm delighted. I'm happy.

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

Good for you, incendo, did you graduate or something?

 

[incendo]

^thanks. I didn't registered for the spring season so I didn't have the right to take the exams and it meant at least one year lost in the uni. I had written a pettition and it has just been accepted. that's the story.

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

awesome, but you still have to learn all the stuff you missed in spring season, right?

 

[incendo]

yes, but not all, half of the stuff. I will handle and save as much as possible.

 

[Magrathean]

*is happy for Utkan*

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

Feeling that life might not be as I hoped it would be. Feeling a bit lost, but have no doubt in myself, either. Meh, whatever it will be, I'll live it.

 

[Zack]

^Wise words. You took the words out of my mouth.

 

[Rincewind]

Care to inform others what's wrong?

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

Errrr, well, my dad no longer has a stable job, and he's the only provider of the family. If he loses his job, my parents will go back to China. So if I decide to stay, I'll have to live by myself. I'll begin to work earlier than I planned for, and I have no idea whether I will find a job or if I can take the pressure of working and studying at the same time. But if it shall happen, I'm willing to give my plan a try.

 

[Magrathean]

What plan?
I hope your father finds a job soon.
Capitalism does that to people. It should be ended.

 

[Zack]

How much school do you have left 6SF?