chat, feelings, and random discussion thread

[marduk1507]

Stalking hippos... Reminds me I have to read some Eliot again.

 

[The.Jester.Race]

Read Stephen King shit, it ownz

 

[marduk1507]

Shut up, Ive already read everything from him. Read Ted Hughes, he pwnz the feckin King ta hell. :Smug:

 

[Tritonus]

i don't think it was directed at you in any way, except for the fact you're the one who marveled at trit having issues with women.

as far as i can interpret the exciting exchange (heh), it went something like:

- dement plays cute and asks for attention
- tritonus refuses to collaborate because she's not into making friends with girls. this could be for a score of different reasons, so i'll pick the most trite just to piss people off: she likes to see herself as more honest and straightforward than the women who compete with her in trying to get the guys
- you post that you're surprised, because, frankly, having an actual problem with an entire gender seems pretty odd
- plintus barges in, e-penis at hand. see explanation above
- i do my job and use my evil powers to stir the cauldron. people will call me names (hopefully), but i've heard them before.

I wish you woul marry me instead... You read me like a fuckin' open book. Though I must say I have bad experiences about women

 

[King Chaos]

I too have bad experiences with women. But you know, when I think about it, I've had some pretty bad experiences with men too (not in that way, but you know what I mean).

It's damn certain that women and men are different beyond genitalia, but the differences of one don't excuse the other from being more arseholeish.

I'll admit I used to be pretty mysogynistic at a time, but I'd just had poor look with the female gender and hadn't met enough of what I'd consider valuable women. Of course at that point I only knew a few men which I'd have consider valuable, so really it comes down to my ignorance.

Also tri, I think you probably find it easier to get along with males, as I do, and so you are more relaxed and less evaluative of males behaviour. I happen to have a couple of male friends, not too close, who will probably cause some women to commit suicide before they actually reach a state of mental and emotional maturity. But because I always got along with them, during my times of mysogyny, I couldn't see what pricks they were. Basically, what I'm saying is, everyone sucks, maybe in different ways, but we can't condemn a gender because of our own bias and insecurities.

 

[Tritonus]

I do not say I hate all girls. There is one thing you'll have to learn about me.... Everything I say is with a little twinkle in my eye....When I'm not totaly ironic of course and jes. Everybody are assholes. I hate people. They suck. I suck to. And people are nasty ugly creatures. People's like freak'n goblings. And is there anyone who likes goblings? One things goblings and people havn't got in commond is that gobling do not get atached to each other like we do. I'm not a gobling. I stuck to people like flea. Question is... What's worse. Gobling or HSSs?

 

[King Chaos]

... that was quite a rant. What's HSSs?

and yeah, I pressumed as much... I just wanted to talk about myself and how optimistic my views on gender are now... in hope I would attract a female who would delight in my optimism, only to later break my heart... because like you said:

Everybody are assholes.

 

[Tritonus]

With that you mean Keyy... She's an optimist. I'st 2! YOu just don't know it...
Homo Sapiens Sapiens

 

[King Chaos]

And no!!! I didn't mean Key, I was just making a crappy joke about how shallow and self centered I can be if you evaluate my purpose in a certain way as an example of how everyone sucks. ... I'd ask why you put 'Sapiens' twice... but I reckon is just cos you're being quirky.

On the subject of internet born relationships... I get the impresison with the track record of forum members who've dated forum members that the majority of people here actually view them possitively... is this indeed the case? And what, why, how?!?

I mean, there's so little you can know about a person until you actually meet them. It doesn't reflect very well if through net chat you can get really connected to someone when typing shit down and actually communicating in real life is soooo fucking different. For example, I rarely say funny things in real life. Here, I can sit for a few hours thinking of a witty comeback. And it gets me to thinking, you'll always read into what people say how you want to and you'll create a totally glorified image of the person subconsciously and when you meet them and there's no way they can be as awesome as you think, 'cos face it, they spend their free time on a band forum, you must just totally delude yourself to the reality of the situation and go into extremely bias subjective reality mode.

I've met 2 potential relationships off the net, and they did exactly that ^ when they met me. I wasn't charming. I wasn't playful. But they still ended the day thinking I was amazing. Not that I think for being aware of this facade I'm any better than they, as I too complimented them and said I enjoyed my time. When I didn't I felt no chemistry and didn't want to meet them ever again.

I know we've chatted about interent relationships before, but I don't think we've ever looked at the psychology of the situation... what do you people think ey? Am I being too cynical? Is this a way to get to really know people? Or is it a dating service in disguise?

 

[Dark_Silence]

@KC:
First when I started to talk with Konrad, it was not in order to find a relasionship, and first we just talked on msn, and found out we had pretty similar interests or experiences at some point in our short lifes. We have also talked by webcam and on the phone before we met.
And when we met, actually, we found out that both of us had acted on msn the same way we do in real life. It was the same talking in front of each other than talking through the net. This first meeting ended up very well , and since then, we are together.
Before we met, I tried no to imagine what could possibly happen, so anyway i would not get disapointed or have too high hopes. I thing it was the right thing to do.

I never tried to find relasionships on the net. Some morons tried to make it with me but I just told them to go to hell, because I could feel at the first few questions they asked, that the only thing they were looking for was just to fuck a woman.

<i have the feeling this post is not very well structured, or that I am not clear enough on what I mean... but it is always hard for me to talk of personal things or feelings in front of so many people...

 

[Taliesin]

I dont think the problem is the internet, because even in real life, there are many people who dont really know me, so imo it's a question of how you choose to act. It depends on whether you want to be honest or whether you want to play games and pretend you're someone different than you actually are.
I think the internet can be an advantage, because I always find it easier to be straightforward online than in real life. So, the day we met we both found we were hardly different from what we had seemed online and you all know where it went from there

 

[hyena]

I wish you woul marry me instead... You read me like a fuckin' open book. Though I must say I have bad experiences about women

Far be from me to interfere in marriage perspectives, but he had an advantage in deciphering the dynamics, since he's known me for about 12 years now and some of these points, well, resonate.

 

[King Chaos]

@Hyena: Is LFStuck meant to be like, an optical illusion? Cos when I see it, I feel invited

@Dartaliesence: Well it seems you were fortunate enough to not be looking for someone but finding someone anyway. It clearly has worked out gradually for you guys. I guess phone conversations and webcaming helps create a more face value image. I'd be well creeped out by speaking to someone off the net on the phone (for the first time anyway). I'm shit on phones is why.


Anyway...

NF: I thought I was working, but I'm not. got up to find the only two females in our branch of the company working and I was like "Much to do today?" and they were like "you're not working." And I was like "hahaha mint. I'm off to party."... And now here I am... At my computer... Partying!

 

[Keyy]

what will you be doing in africa? what's more, what will i be doing there? i don't have many skills, except for my knowledge of english and an uncanny ability to - my goodness! - order the right book online. i used to work for surveillance, but i don't think stalking hippos is a promising line of business. sure, i could ride our pony, be a comfortable couch, this kind of things. still it seems harsh punishment for not jumping up to the occasion of marrying you. please consider that this is a metal forum: what would the neighbors think of us?

well, in africa i'd be doing something good(it sounds very hippy i know), actually helping people instead of just complaining about how many of them die, how many starve and so on, and you, speaking awsome english could, be very usefull, although the prospective of a couch sounds much better. And then you could find books for the cute african kids, so we can educate them and let them know what's going on so that they grow up and kick the bad people's ass for us. Doesn't it sound like a happy plan? So, see, you should marry me before you became ancient and creepy, so we can enjoy our happyness in binging peace to the world. And if we die killed by some rebels, aids or a hippo, well that how it was supposed to be, so let's still smile!

With that you mean Keyy... She's an optimist. I'st 2! YOu just don't know it...
Homo Sapiens Sapiens

Yes i am indeed ^^
About all the things that poeple sucks i don't think they do. Some of them just makes decision that turn our to be bad for others, while some of them are awsome persons. I've met people that sucks, and i've met beautiful people, and always the thought of the second one wins on the first ones.
But i'm 17, what do i know, right?

About the internet relationships, i think it all goes of how smart one is. One can decide to be fooled or not, dependes how much trust one wonna put in all the deal. And before getting into that crap one should know that not facing other, it's easier for people to take out their bad qualities as well as their good ones. And then it's up to one to choose if get fooled in a ton of different ways or just avoid it. Establish how much one has to loose.

Ok,i'm done with my optimistic retoric ^^

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

And no!!! I didn't mean Key, I was just making a crappy joke about how shallow and self centered I can be if you evaluate my purpose in a certain way as an example of how everyone sucks. ... I'd ask why you put 'Sapiens' twice... but I reckon is just cos you're being quirky.

On the subject of internet born relationships... I get the impresison with the track record of forum members who've dated forum members that the majority of people here actually view them possitively... is this indeed the case? And what, why, how?!?

I mean, there's so little you can know about a person until you actually meet them. It doesn't reflect very well if through net chat you can get really connected to someone when typing shit down and actually communicating in real life is soooo fucking different. For example, I rarely say funny things in real life. Here, I can sit for a few hours thinking of a witty comeback. And it gets me to thinking, you'll always read into what people say how you want to and you'll create a totally glorified image of the person subconsciously and when you meet them and there's no way they can be as awesome as you think, 'cos face it, they spend their free time on a band forum, you must just totally delude yourself to the reality of the situation and go into extremely bias subjective reality mode.

I've met 2 potential relationships off the net, and they did exactly that ^ when they met me. I wasn't charming. I wasn't playful. But they still ended the day thinking I was amazing. Not that I think for being aware of this facade I'm any better than they, as I too complimented them and said I enjoyed my time. When I didn't I felt no chemistry and didn't want to meet them ever again.

I know we've chatted about interent relationships before, but I don't think we've ever looked at the psychology of the situation... what do you people think ey? Am I being too cynical? Is this a way to get to really know people? Or is it a dating service in disguise?

It all depends on what kind of person you're. Internet based, or initialized, relationships works for some and not for the others. I, myself, actually find it harder to express my thoughts on the internet, be it through instant messaging or forum posts. First of all, you have type the sentences down, that's slow, and I usually don't reflect on what I type down anyways. Second, I use a lot of gestures and facial expressions to convey my messages, that's not exactly done over the internet. Third, it's harder to make jokes on the net, because you can't mimic, well, you can, but they won't see you. And last of all, I talk better in real life than on the net. I have about 70 of my real life buddies on my MSN and AIM, but I only talk to about 3 of them online, I just can't talk to the rest without looking at their faces.

I'm actually in an internet based relationship, but I never looked for one, nor thought that I'd need one. We started out just talking on AIM, with no intention further than chatting. That state lasted about a year, then we were in love and she agreed to move up and live with me in 3 years. It's a long wait, but it's worth it. As of now, we're better than ever.

 

[Dark_Silence]

For me, it has always been easier to talk to people in a written way, because when you dont see the person sometimes, you dare saying much things, and it is easier to speak of feelings when written and not in front of people. Maybe because that way you actually dont see the reaction of the other.

I have many contacts on msn or icq, but I rarely speak to them, but just because we dont get to see each other often, and anyway, most of the friendships I had back in high school are broken.

@6SF: how far does your gf live from you? can you meet often?

 

[King Chaos]

It all depends on what kind of person you're. Internet based, or initialized, relationships works for some and not for the others. I, myself, actually find it harder to express my thoughts on the internet, be it through instant messaging or forum posts. First of all, you have type the sentences down, that's slow, and I usually don't reflect on what I type down anyways. Second, I use a lot of gestures and facial expressions to convey my messages, that's not exactly done over the internet. Third, it's harder to make jokes on the net, because you can't mimic, well, you can, but they won't see you. And last of all, I talk better in real life than on the net. I have about 70 of my real life buddies on my MSN and AIM, but I only talk to about 3 of them online, I just can't talk to the rest without looking at their faces.

I'm actually in an internet based relationship, but I never looked for one, nor thought that I'd need one. We started out just talking on AIM, with no intention further than chatting. That state lasted about a year, then we were in love and she agreed to move up and live with me in 3 years. It's a long wait, but it's worth it. As of now, we're better than ever.

That's interesting man. Strange that you find it easier to express yourself out loud than on paper. I mean, face to face, like you said there's unspeakable amounts of non-verbal communication to help build understanding, but there's ways to evaluate that too. For instance, over the internet I could (If I wasn't so cynical about the face value of net communication) fall in love with a Japanese lady but upon a first meeting, our body language would just confuse the hell out of each other no doubt. Because non verbal communication is extremely different from culture to culture.

But the main benefit of writing things to people is you have more than enough time to calculate a response. Personally I've never had the 'spirit of the stairway' on a forum or in a messenger convo, but I get it all the time in real life. Of course, that's maybe just me.

Goodluck with the lady fellah. For me something like you described would be a gamble, making a large commitment though the seeds of your love are planted on digital soil. But if you have confidence in your judgement and can trust the person, as with time it seems you've learnt to, then I can accept the logic of the commitment.

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

That's interesting man. Strange that you find it easier to express yourself out loud than on paper. I mean, face to face, like you said there's unspeakable amounts of non-verbal communication to help build understanding, but there's ways to evaluate that too. For instance, over the internet I could (If I wasn't so cynical about the face value of net communication) fall in love with a Japanese lady but upon a first meeting, our body language would just confuse the hell out of each other no doubt. Because non verbal communication is extremely different from culture to culture.

But the main benefit of writing things to people is you have more than enough time to calculate a response. Personally I've never had the 'spirit of the stairway' on a forum or in a messenger convo, but I get it all the time in real life. Of course, that's maybe just me.

Goodluck with the lady fellah. For me something like you described would be a gamble, making a large commitment though the seeds of your love are planted on digital soil. But if you have confidence in your judgement and can trust the person, as with time it seems you've learnt to, then I can accept the logic of the commitment.

Body language is easier to learn than spoken languages, consider that it's almost intuitive. If you really love someone, you'd take the trouble to get used to her in real life. Maybe you haven't had the experience to completely change your culture, but I have, so it might be almost natural for me to change my ways to suit someone else.

And what is the 'spirit of the stairway'?

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

For me, it has always been easier to talk to people in a written way, because when you dont see the person sometimes, you dare saying much things, and it is easier to speak of feelings when written and not in front of people. Maybe because that way you actually dont see the reaction of the other.

I have many contacts on msn or icq, but I rarely speak to them, but just because we dont get to see each other often, and anyway, most of the friendships I had back in high school are broken.

@6SF: how far does your gf live from you? can you meet often?

She lives in the U.S. (Eau Claire, WI) while I'm in Canada. So I won't be seeing her till next year at least. I'll get a job this summer, buy plane tickets to Eau Claire and go next summer. For now, I spend hours per day talking to her on AIM. Sometimes we talk on the phone.

 

[King Chaos]

Body language is easier to learn than spoken languages, consider that it's almost intuitive. If you really love someone, you'd take the trouble to get used to her in real life. Maybe you haven't had the experience to completely change your culture, but I have, so it might be almost natural for me to change my ways to suit someone else.

And what is the 'spirit of the stairway'?

Spirit of the Stairway is originally a french saying for when you give someone an answer or say something in the heat of the moment, and later realise there was a much better thing to say, the phrase implies it comes to you as you're leaving the house (for saying the wrong thing or saying nothing at all) via the stairs...