hyena said:
@kc: i have mixed feelings on what you wrote. when it comes to talking the talk, i'm all for this "try and see" kind of thing, especially when high considerations of interest, esteem, appreciation and mutual respect enter the mix. but i never walk the walk, since i will only walk if i feel totally involved from the get go. and i only feel totally involved with one man, who is involved with someone else (although flirting with me occasionally, resulting in some paradoxical little tableaux). i also have a weird kind of gut feeling telling me that yeah, he's the way to go. and note that i sort of have a relationship of the type you described with someone else, and i'm seeing him in two days, and i have all the right reasons to say that we're ok together... only i know it's not going to work down the line. and i would dare to say that the same applies to you. i know personal experience cannot be extrapolated like this, but this is one topic i feel strongly about. however, i don't advise you to quit - just to keep us posted. i'd love to know if something good can come out of this type of relationship.
I can be honest now and say I can't see much of a future, and once we're beyond this puppy love
ish stage, it'll probably just turn to crap and we'll shrug and let what we have go, hopefully scar free... but right now I can also say she's the only woman I've actually felt anything for since my break up. And it's not like I've not had oppotunities with others. I've just not been interested at all. Not in a casual relationship thing or even a good friendship with these people... This started as a strong online friendship, and after a second meeting twisted unexpectedly into a cringe worthingly romantic scenario, involving midnight storms, snuggles, lakes and using an oak tree for shelter. The over-riding thing is, if it works out it's no tragedy, if it doesn't the same applies. So I'll just see where it goes... although maybe by saying that, and doing that I'm being complacent?
@Tal: Thanks man. I was thinking people would just see me as insensitive, or at least taking it all and myself too seriously... but you seem to understand
... this gladdens me.
@6sf: I'm gonna say some same old crap on this, but I might be able to offer something. Long distance relationships are always tough. Especially net bread ones. I think it's incredibly validating to bank on, and there was a time recently where I almost did just that, although I am almost ashamed to say so... However, if someone more
tangible came into your life, you'd pretty much have to put the breaks on the long distance thing. It feels bastardly... But imagine telling some amazing local gal that's really into you that you're not interested because you're waiting for someone you speak to on the internet. I did that, and realised I'm living in a dream land.
Telling the internet girl, who just so happened to be really really amazing, that I just couldn't commit to someone on the other side of the world was hard to do, and I felt awful when she acted upset. She was sort of fucked up already, and she was really counting on me. But I didn't turn my back on love for convenience. I turned my back on my faith for my logic.
... you implying Im just in it for the sex, or to get into her friends only profile? I have no labido whatsoever. Maybe it's just hormonal... but right now sex actually appauls me... in a way... Like sometimes you're just not in the mood for mayonaise.
