chat, feelings, and random discussion thread

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fireangel said:
okay, what´s happening? New avatar (who´s that?), new title and everything else new, so there must be a reason :D (Harry Potter-overdose? :p )
Click to expand...

:) Also, I'm up at 7.30 am! Woohoo!

What happened is so stupid that I don't have words to explain it. :p It's an old boy-meets-girl type of story, only with a rambunctiously idiotic finale.

I met a guy in July. He lives in another country. I liked him as a person but didn't feel particularly attracted. On the other hand, he sounded star-struck: called me "princess" all the time, kept on asking for my company, and when he got back home, he started to send me postcards, poems, books and all that jazz. He even invited me on holiday with him, but I couldn't go. Note that in his communications directed at me there was an abundance of references to hugs, kisses, missing me, my supposed physical and moral qualities, and teddy bears, so I deducted that there was romantic interest (I'm not making this up. Have eyewitnesses). I even went as far as telling him that I wish I had fallen in love with him but I hadn't (you know, honesty and all), but he reassured me telling me he wasn't head-over-heels in love either so there was no reason to worry. He came to visit me once, and in general we kept in very close touch. Then I started to think that maybe I could give the whole thing a try - especially after his visit. I was perplexed by some aspects of his behavior, that seemed slightly selfish to me: for example, he knew that I have to move houses in one month and that it is going to be a lot of effort since I'm on my own, but he never once offered to help and even cancelled visiting plans for the moving week. So I thought I'd up the ante, following the lead of Manowar who mention "returning goodness with good" (turns out I should have listened to rahvin when he said that this particular line made him think of kindergarten). I sent him a very nice present and I also agreed with him to travel to his country this coming weekend. Yesterday he got the present, and he wrote to me that he was very touched and also slightly upset. Last night I asked him why he was upset, and he said "I want to be very clear on one thing: you don't think we are on a romantic track, don't you?". I explained to him that I did not believe we had a relationship, since we don't have one, but I thought that it was a possibility, otherwise I wouldn't be investing all this time and energy (money too, but I omitted this detail for style reasons). I also let him know that I felt uncomfortable with responding to contact requests on internet dating sites or looking for other people because I didn't know whether we were going to become a couple or not - didn't want to muddle the scenario by getting to know other guys etc. My point was basically that I was taking the possibility very seriously, because the kind of pleasure in each other's company and the level of understanding we developed shortly is not an everyday occurrence. I also told him that I was starting to think of potential long-run plans because I'm 28 and not 12 (he's 31), and our situation ie living in different countries requires early resolutions that wouldn't be necessary if we were neighbors. For the sake of not going too far, I didn't mention that of course I was evaluating career repercussions of such a relationship, but I thought it was completely obvious. And what does he do? He explains to me that he doesn't have the right "gut feeling" for a relationship but he really wants to invest in a long-term friendship with me (hey, what about the fucking teddy bears and the love poems then?). I made very clear to him that I do have very close and good mates and I don't need another one, especially when he comes in the way of my looking for a partner. He became very upset, started to cry, and complained that after all friendship does not exist, or at least it is not something that happens to him. I didn't know what to say, especially because I was devastatingly tired and unprepared to handle such a delirious scenario. I warned him that I was probably going to cancel my weekend trip, and he complained about my all-or-nothing attitude, which actually wasn't the case because as I said I was just trying to be open to possibilities, not determined to reach a certain outcome. But if he puts up fences and sticks, well, I don't want to hear it.
I thought I would feel elated and refreshed after finally reaching a clear conclusion. I didn't. Had some trouble sleeping, I still have a trembling in my left arm due to excessive working out and lack of proper rest, and in general I have to reset my sights and think up an alternative plan (but at least I don't stage tragedies via skype because the world doesn't work exactly as I want).

Oh, and to answer your more specific question: the guy in the avatar is Rudy Giuliani.

Off to eat an apple and go to work now.

Edit: typos.
 
@hyena: Merciful heavens. I didn't reply to your text message last night because I carried all the joy of a full-blown flu back with me from the USA, and when my phone rang I was probably trying to cough up a lung. Reading the whole story here, I'm once again not sure whether you should laugh or brood (I wasn't going to say "cry" after that, you know?). Laughing makes sense because the boy is either a nutcase or very good at lying adding a couple of decades to his age. Clearly, mature people don't get all kissy-kissy with on line acquaintances and then marvel at them mistaking the activity for friendship. On the other hand, how do you always end up believing people like this guy are anywhere close to sane? I probably shouldn't talk as if it was crystal clear to everybody but you, because you certainly remember the infamous occasion when I was led far, far away from home on the dubious promise of someone having "a crush" on me, only to realize that too was an unexpected synonym of "I guess we could be friends, and by the way I'm sort of going to date another guy from now on." Still, that was probably the only time in my case when it was hard to spot the incongruities: you, on the other hand, pick them all much more subtly illogical.
 
For those who still remember me, and Im sure a few of you do ;), all I have to say is that life is like getting kicked in the taint with a size 13 (USA) steel-shanked boot. You know :)? Now I think Im going to vanish again for another 5 months.

Nick (yes, Im still a dick)
 
@Nick: You should stay. We're gonna have that odd spammer guy with the cartoon avatar visit daily again, complaining that you're gone, just now that someone was finally making sure he was taking his pills.
 
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