Christmas '08

[Blind Guardian]

I volunteered to work on call on christmas eve so i'll be spared of the pain in the ass that is christmas.

 

[whiskey funeral]

Nothing. Money is tight for the family this year. I think we're going to have a nice dinner and that's about it. I don't really want presents or anything and I hate Xmas so I'm fine with not making a big deal of it.

 

[King Richard]

Fuck Christmas. It sucks when you're poor, and everyone brags about all the great shit they got. I'm probably getting socks, or $15 worth of gift cards, or something shit, that I will still appreciate nonetheless. Fuck it.

The first thing that came to mind after I read "Fuck Christmas" was this:

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch!

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch!

I wouldn't touch you with
A 39 and a half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness
of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch!

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You're a nasty-wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch!

The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote:
"Stink"
"Stank"
"Stunk"!

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch!

Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
Of deplorable rubbish imaginable
Mangled up in tangled up knots!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseas super-naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch!

You're a three-decker
Sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

 

[The Ozzman]

GPS system for my car
A flask
clothes

 

[Dak]

<- Doesn't celebrate Xmas. However I will spend the day at some friends house just chillin since I get the day off anyway.

 

[King Richard]

GPS system for my car
A flask
clothes

A flask? What the fuck are you going to do with a flask gramps?

 

[The Ozzman]

A flask? What the fuck are you going to do with a flask gramps?

Drink alcohol out of it, you fucking idiot

 

[False Joe]

Hipflask would've been the more correct term.

Flask suggests you're going to sit on a bench in the park and sip tea.

 

[The Ozzman]

Hipflask would've been the more correct term.

Yeah, but I'm from the States so I can bastardize terms. It's okay.

Anyway, I'm going to get a USB flash drive for my dad since he would still use floppy disks if he could and e-mails stuff to me to print out at work since he can't store it anywhere. He'll probably fucking lose it though.

No idea what to get my mom yet.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

A girl thats coming down from Kent to see me.

 

[Blind Guardian]

I'll probably get my mom a fat juicy dildo since i suspect she's unsatisfied with my dads small cock.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

You dont need a fat juicy dildo, just give me a call instead.

 

[Blind Guardian]

But your cock is also tiny, wtf?

 

[King Richard]

Drink alcohol out of it, you fucking idiot

Last I checked, only losers and murderers use flasks.

 

[AchrisK]

I don't really care what I get in terms of gifts, I just want to have time off from work and relax with my family.

Word!

 

[The Creator of Failure]

We have different Christmas traditions here, in other words - no presents, just a family dinner. I don't care about Christmas, anyway.Here in the Orthodox world we preserved many traditions that are many centuries old and date back when our ancestors adopted Christianity, so I liked that when I was a kid. Now it's just a dinner with the rest of the family.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

I told my parents I don't really want anything this year. Seriously...I really don't want shit. Just money to buy my own stuff really.

 

[skeptik]

I'm obliged to make a list every year, since my mother pesters me for one until I make one. I might as well since people will get me things either way, and I'd rather get things that I want, though I'd probably rather just get money. My list consists entirely of a few CDs, a few books, a few DVDs, and a Hellhammer shirt.

 

[False Joe]

Last I checked, only losers and murderers use flasks.

Last I checked, you apparently haven't ever been somewhere where it's £4 (about 6 dollars) a pint.

Hipflask = Cheap.

 

[King Richard]

I'm obliged to make a list every year, since my mother pesters me for one until I make one. I might as well since people will get me things either way, and I'd rather get things that I want, though I'd probably rather just get money. My list consists entirely of a few CDs, a few books, a few DVDs, and a Hellhammer shirt.

What books are you going to ask for this year?

Last I checked, you apparently haven't ever been somewhere where it's £4 (about 6 dollars) a pint.

Hipflask = Cheap.

You're goddamn right. I live in America bitch. Where it's totally cool to celebrate a holdiay that involved the murder of thousands of innocent natives to this land.

And I’m proud to be an American
Where as least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I’d gladly stand up!
*slight pause*
Next to you and defend her still today
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land
God bless the U.S.A!!!!!!!!1111111

Hallelujah, holla back!