Cynthia Muñoz Alvarez (1983-2003)

Thanatos

Thanatos

payaso
Oct 28, 2001
10,697
190
63
Hades
She was my little sister, and she ceased to exist on feb/15/03, even though I know she’s not here anymore, it is still so hard to believe for me she’s gone, I never noticed everything around here was so full of her, to the point of making me think of this last 3 days as some kind of surreal dream, or may I say nightmare, the vigil, the burial, the people…I’m so eager to believe all that was a hallucination, I just need a proof that she is still here…but I know I won’t find it, and it makes me feel…something I can’t explain, just as I can’t find a reason for her deceasing, one day she’s happy coming back from a party and jokingly calling me a geek for being late at night on the internet, and the next day she’s inside a coffin, I still can’t get it.

She was such an awesome person, so hard tempered that nobody would mess with her, and at the same time so charismatic that she would have made friends anywhere, you could even say a politician had died, only these people’s tears were sincere.
She was so full of dreams, plans, projects, I remember she had told me she wanted to take a course in a school in Switzerland and I thought yeah right, but upon a little more thinking I knew she would fulfill that little dream, because she always did what she wanted, whether or not my parents liked it, like her many travels, she loved to travel, and even though I missed her when she was away, I loved it too because she always brought me souvenirs…she was very sweet to me,
 
yet so tough she never let her stupid big brother bully her…I could talk about her on and on, but I guess it’s not that interesting for others to read, but I’m writing this because I didn’t use to talk very much about her, and I want to tell my friends from this forum how beautiful and what a wonderful person she was, and how proud I am of her, I’m relieved I told her so, and I’m relieved that she was happy when she left, she was so happy, so content with every aspect of her life that this hapiness only matched the one we had when we were kids…it is so unfair that a person like her had to die, she was looking forward to life so much and I loathe it[the life], she had so much dreams to fight for, and I have none but…I am calm now, I won’t dwell in this because a very big responsibility has fallen on me…
I’d never seen my father cry and my mother…well she got 20 years older in a single day, my father took care of the legal procedures, everybody was able to cry and mourn her, but somebody had to take care of the house, somebody had to call all our relatives and friends, somebody had to answer all the incoming phone calls and arrange the people, look for my sisters documents, somebody had to deal with all the people’s stares and mutterings, somebody had to be strong…and I feel tired, too tired of being strong and keeping cool and calm, I’m just going to lay down and forget about it for a while…
 
I just did it for my sister and I’m glad I was of help, but I only did it for her…tomorrow I will have to be strong again, as I have to take care of my mother, she won’t get over this but in a few years, but today I just want to share my feelings with my friends of the DT forum.

In both pics, she's the only one wearing a sweater, wasn't she a beautiful girl? Those are pictures of her high school days.

pic1

pic2
 
I'm sorry for your loss :cry:

I don't quite know what to tell you, I've had similar loss in my life, so I know kinda how it feels.

Thats all I can say and will say.
 
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I dont post so much around here anymore...but I want to pay respects to Thanatos' sister and family, as well as himself.

Im very sorry to hear of your loss my friend, your a tough guy, stay strong man...
 
my most sincere condolences, dear friend...
many of us know what it feels like having to face a loss, realizing all at once that every place is too quiet, that you won't hear a loved one's voice anymore...
she was beautiful, yes, with bright eyes and a kind smile :)
there's no hurry to be strong, take your time to cry and let emotions out
*tight hug*
 
She was very beautiful, indeed.
From your kind words it's obvious she was a wonderful person and that you love her a lot.
I don't really know what to say, except that i hope she's happy wherever she is...
I guess that as long as you treasure her in your heart she'll always somehow be near you...
Our thoughts are with you in these hard moments, even from so far away. We're hugging you tight. :cry:
 
The way you expressed your emotions was moving, I'm sure she'd have been proud to have a brother like you to remember her. Reading that was genuinely saddening. I wish I had more words, or even knew which ones to use, but I don't. I wish you heartfelt strength in coping with her loss.
 
Originally posted by Ormir
The way you expressed your emotions was moving, I'm sure she'd have been proud to have a brother like you to remember her. Reading that was genuinely saddening. I wish I had more words, or even knew which ones to use, but I don't. I wish you heartfelt strength in coping with her loss.
Click to expand...
I'll second this. I don't know you very well, but I've always enjoyed your posts on the Opeth board, and I'm just terribly sorry.
 
Your story instantly struck a chord with me because my sister is the most important person in my life. Whatever condolences you’re able to receive via the Internet I hope they ease your suffering. I offer you my deepest and sincerest condolences.
 
guey neta si me entristecio ver tu mensaje,yo tambien sufri una perdida bien cabrona,cuando necesites hablar de eso aqui estoy,aunque nomas sea por internet pero neta me caes con madre guey y ya sabes que aqui cuentas con un cuate
 
(for everyone else to understand)
dude I know how it feels to be the strong one,to be the supportive one when all you want to do is break down and let the tears come out.It's frustrating but when you see that it helps people that you are strong it's kind of rewarding to know it was worth it.I am with you in your feelings and this message got me very sad man,I can't believe someone my age died,it's so unfair when someone so young dies and you know there's stuff they wanted to do and things they wanted to fix.
we bug each other all the time but you have my support on this one bro,whatever you need just ask
 
:cry:
i... don't really know what to say.
i'd like to be closer to thanatos and i wish someone would offer him a chance to let go for a while.

if you ever need anything, i'm here mate. don't you worry about asking too much.

rahvin.
 
I'm at a loss for words...

I'm so sorry, Luis.
She was beautiful and obviously a wonderful person. The way you described her was very touching and surely honoured her...

My thoughts are with you.
 
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