@marduk: ah, but i tried, i tried...
to no avail whatsoever. i don't think i have a lot of sexual experience, actually i think i have way less sexual experience than most people my age. as far as the emotional side goes, yes, i concur: i've mostly been there and done that, whatever 'there' and 'that' are supposed to mean. and as for taking advantage of experience... i don't know how, probably. maybe i find more obstacles than most because i am a bit of a tomboy (way less than when i was a teen, so in a sense i have changed to attract men, but it wasn't until two years ago or so that i felt comfortable with these changes), and i have a very strong personality.
this tends to be interesting for passive men who are, as the latest one put it to me, more in touch with their feminine side than their masculine one - i'm simplifying, but i think you get the point. but i like the superstars, be it aggressive go-getters or people with the subtlest intellect ever. and these types of guys tend to go for soft, round and comforting, in general. sometimes they also go for outright stupid named maria carmela (one of the silliest tales of my life, that).
i think i'm pretty good at sustaining people through adversity, if only for the far and wide experience, and i also think i can be something very steady to lean on... but this is somewhat misaligned from what men i like classify as 'comforting'. i dunno, i'm not able to hug someone through the night because he has a problem at work, i'd rather try to look for solutions and maybe also call him slightly silly if the occasion presented itself. on the other hand, i am able to hug someone through the night if his family just died in a disaster, even if my family just died in the same disaster - this is not meant to be self-congratulatory, i'm just saying that i have emotional resilience on my side in cases where most people would fall to pieces and be of no use to each other, while in everyday situations i'm a bit aloof. men who normally are strong and driven probably do pursue equilibrium through a desire for a soft, unquestioning breast (!) to lean their head on at the end of any mildly tough day, even if the world didn't explode during said day. i'm too awkward for that, i can't comfort and compliment people when i think they don't need comforting and complimenting but rather something that sounds less artificial to me (sex, a drink, going out to a show, don't know).
oh, and thanks again for wanting to discuss this with me.
