If You Could Open a Metal Store...

[Vimana]

I would have Metal and all subgenres of Rock. No Metalcore or anything like that. I would also have a wide variety of merch, because not that many stores where I live have a very wide selection. I might have some guitar or drum accessories too, just so people could get stuff they wanted all in one place.

And in the Death Metal section I would have a sign that says:

"Asking why there is no Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, or any band of the kind in this section will result in a lifelong ban"

 

[Matt]

Mine would have a sign on the front which would say "If you are a false don't entry". Not only would this keep falses away from my awesome store but it would insure that only true as fuck motherfuckers entried my store because only they would get the kvlt reference displayed on the front of my awesome and true as fuck store and thus they would not be intimidated by its utter fucking metalness.

But you have to add the other part - "If you are a false don't entry, or you'll be burned and died"

 

[Vossyrus]

I suppose if I opened a shop it would carry black metal exclusively, but also death, doom...and to a lesser extent other genres like thrash, power, melodic death, progressive etc.

I wouldn't carry anything -core related though.

Also, would carry tons of gothic, industrial and many styles associated with electronic, and stuff I'll generally call hard rock.

Basically anything I'd personally listen to or respect would be in my shop.

 

[waif]

it would carry black metal exclusively, but also death, doom

not very exclusive is it, then?

 

[SentinelSlain]

So basically you only sell Mütiilation except you also stock celine dion and michael buble.

 

[Vossyrus]

not very exclusive is it, then?

Well I guess I didn't mean exclusive as in it would only sell black metal, but the shop would specialize in black metal as opposed to just carrying albums of that genre like I would with other genres.

 

[King Richard]

Good thing you arrived in the nick of time with a fatherly quip, I'm sure he was just about to sign the papers.

I'm glad you noticed how down right hilarious my post was. /sarcasm+thebird

 

[Blind Guardian]

My metal shop would have a sign that said "gangstaz only",then when the gangstaz walked in i would say "please dont hurt people".
I also would sell metal albums and stuff.

 

[Xorv]

Mine would have a sign on the front which would say "If you are a false don't entry". Not only would this keep falses away from my awesome store but it would insure that only true as fuck motherfuckers entried my store because only they would get the kvlt reference displayed on the front of my awesome and true as fuck store and thus they would not be intimidated by its utter fucking metalness.

then your business will collapse, you'll file for bankruptcy, and spend the rest of your days under a bridge with your wiener hanging out.

 

[waif]

My metal shop would have a sign that said "gangstaz only",then when the gangstaz walked in i would say "please dont hurt people".
I also would sell metal albums and stuff.

After reading several dozen of your posts I've come to the conclusion that you aren't a total moron, you just make really, really bad jokes that are funny for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Alter]

After reading several dozen of your posts I've come to the conclusion that you aren't a total moron, you just make really, really bad jokes that are funny for all the wrong reasons.

.

 

[Blind Guardian]

Thanks guys,although they´re not funny for the wrong reasons. Making a sign that says "gangstaz only" and begging them to not hurt people when they enter is funny because it sounds so stupid and pointless,that´s why you guys laugh right?. That is the purpose of my perpetual comedy.

 

[Alter]

I did not laugh.

 

[genocide roach]

maybe a shop/tattoo parlor would work well
~gR~

 

[Blind Guardian]

I did not laugh.

Then why did you agree with him? He said it was funny and you quoted him.

 

[Alter]

Then why did you agree with him? He said it was funny and you quoted him.

I thought he said you were a total moron and you are not funny.

 

[Alteredmindeath]

I was inspired by euronymous store "Hell" he carried lots of cool black metal stuff for that time, dark and evil atmosphere, black metal playing on the stereo in the background. These days to stay in business you would have to carry more than just Black metal because Metal shops are closing down everywhere and the one around my house closed down. Damn online stores are putting many out of business to stay in business you would have to have merchandise, vinyl, pop section, and maybe even a meet and greet for metal bands that come to town.

 

[Blind Guardian]

I thought he said you were a total moron and you are not funny.

But you certainly aint no moron and you´re funny too. You are a nice person.

 

[Matt]

But you certainly aint no moron and you´re funny too.

 

[False Joe]

I'd call it Ear Rapegasmic.
And spend my days pretending to work, selling CDs to bright eyed youngsters.