Movies you just don't get

[Burnout]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that doesn't get Kevin Smith films. Though I did like Dogma. But my boyfriend just has a FIT everytime I say "I just don't dig Kevin Smith..."

I also don't get the James Bond films. BORING.

Vampire movies - vampires are froo-froo any more. I think we can all thank Anne Rice for that.

Werewolf movies - why must the good majority of them suck? I've only seen two quality Werewolf movies: An American Werewolf in London and Silver Bullet. The sequel to Werewolf in London had some nifty CGI wolves, but the story was weak. No other werewolf movie is really worth mentioning, except to say how bad it is. Is it -that- difficult for horror writers to write a good Werewolf flick?

Zombie movies - the concept freaks me the fuck out. However, the damn things shamble slowly! Kick them in the head, smash them with a 2x4, shoot them - whatever! But they're not -that- hard to defeat! And really, if you think about it, fresh zombies may be able to move quickly, but not for too long. Once rigor mortis sets in, they're screwed. And then when the rotting process begins...the damn things would fall apart! If you think about it, zombies aren't all that fearsome after an hour or so.

Scream - why does everybody like this movie? It sucks!

Most gore/slasher flicks - blood for the sake of blood = retarded. Give me a good psychological, edge-of-your-seat thriller any day.

Clueless - Again, why does everybody like this movie? It was stupid the first time I watched it, it was stupid when I saw it again on TV. It's just a stupid movie!

Grease - overrated! Another movie that people soil themselves over. It's just a twisted version of O. Henry's Gift of the Magi.

I totally agree with everything here, short of the Kevin Smith comment.

Also, I'll second the Steve Martin/Jim Carrey comments and add to that list anything containing Rob Schneider, Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence. uke:

Any movie with Jean Claude Van Damm or Steven Seagal is completely unwatchable.

I've also had the pleasure of watching 'Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter' from beginning to end, that was a terrible movie.

 

[OrbWeaver]

There were plenty of good werewolf and Vampire movies in the 80s/90s. The howling series was a good one, I must have watched Howling 4 the Marsupials like 50 times on cable back in the day. Company of Wolves is pretty cool, the effects are kinda cheesy but I would shit bricks if I saw this as a little kid. For Vampires well you have the hammer films which are okay, my favorite all time take though just happens to be Interview with a vampire, but I also like the Sub-Species movies with Radu.

The only good Howling movie was the first one. I'm a werewolf snob. I'm not familiar with Company of Wolves.


As for vampire movies, please note that I said "any more." I was not including the Hammer Films in my assessment. Christopher Lee made an awesome vampire. And Hammer Films just has cool horror flicks anyway. As I said, we can all thank Anne Rice for the froo-froo vampires. And that includes Interview.

Oh, and I hated Underworld. I don't understand why ANYONE likes that movie. Bad story, bad acting, effects...decent. It was just horrible all around. But everyone seems to LOVE that movie, and think it's one of the greatest werewolf/vampire flicks ever made. And I staunchly refuse to watch Evolution. It looked to be worse than the first one.

 

[Entrerie]

The only good Howling movie was the first one. I'm a werewolf snob. I'm not familiar with Company of Wolves.


As for vampire movies, please note that I said "any more." I was not including the Hammer Films in my assessment. Christopher Lee made an awesome vampire. And Hammer Films just has cool horror flicks anyway. As I said, we can all thank Anne Rice for the froo-froo vampires. And that includes Interview.

Oh, and I hated Underworld. I don't understand why ANYONE likes that movie. Bad story, bad acting, effects...decent. It was just horrible all around. But everyone seems to LOVE that movie, and think it's one of the greatest werewolf/vampire flicks ever made. And I staunchly refuse to watch Evolution. It looked to be worse than the first one.

Kate Beckinsale in latex/vynil 'nuff said. Evolution wasn't so bad. I liked the period opening and the last fight was kinda cool.

Did you like Van Helsing? *ducks*

 

[Cheiron]

Evolution is worse.

Hammer Films? Never seen any of it. I'll check into it.

Interview is good. The second one... its actually a pretty decent movie. Bram Stroker's Dracula though... the one with Wynona Ryder and co... is maybe my favorite vampire movie. I've also enjoyed John Carpenter's Vampires, and From Dusk till Dawn.

Werewolf films well... yeah the good ones have been mentioned. I haven't seen Wolf yet though that Jack Nicholson movie.

OrbWeaver: Van Helsing was fun hehe. Its not a great movie.. nor maybe not even a good movie, but its fun.

 

[booB]

The sequel to Werewolf in London had some nifty CGI wolves, but the story was weak.

I thought it was great, but I'm a huge Julie Delpy fan.

Most gore/slasher flicks - blood for the sake of blood = retarded. Give me a good psychological, edge-of-your-seat thriller any day.

sounds like you need some David Lynch in your diet... Lost Highway, perhaps?

Or, if you want a SMART, psychological, gory/bloody movie, watch anything by Clive Barker... Hellraiser I and II, Nightbreed, and Lord of Illusions are all great picks. Candyman is decent too, even though Clive didn't have anything to do with the movie.

 

[RiffDaemon]

Any movie with Jean Claude Van Damm ... is completely unwatchable.

How can you not like Lionheart? haha

A series of movies I just don't get nor enjoy: Rush Hour. On being invited to Rush Hour 3, I promptly declined. Jackie Chan is awesome, but Chan + Tucker = blech to me.

Edit: I may be adding 300 soon. Being a moderate History buff, I'm thinking the inaccuracies will prevent me from enjoying it. Yes, it's based on the graphic novel (which I might browse ahead of time), but it appears to be a lot of graphical flash and testosterone. I'm hoping I'm wrong

 

[Entrerie]

Bloodsport is the shiznit.

 

[edgeofthorns]

Kate Beckinsale in latex/vynil 'nuff said.

I second that! (raises hand)

~Brian~

 

[edgeofthorns]

Edit: I may be adding 300 soon. Being a moderate History buff, I'm thinking the inaccuracies will prevent me from enjoying it. Yes, it's based on the graphic novel (which I might browse ahead of time), but it appears to be a lot of graphical flash and testosterone. I'm hoping I'm wrong

Nope, my man, I'm afraid you're right. 300 was a total disappointment to me. A little testosterone gives those types of movies a little character, but 300 went way overboard, almost like they were trying too hard.....pardon the pun! Anyway, Gladiator is my all time favorite among these types of movies, period. Gladiator will never be beaten!

~Brian~

 

[OrbWeaver]

OrbWeaver: Van Helsing was fun hehe. Its not a great movie.. nor maybe not even a good movie, but its fun.

Van Helsing was certianly fun. Not exactly a great movie, but I was entertained.


@booB: Not familiar with David Lynch. Sorry. I'm not a huge Clive Barker fan, though. Generally his flicks tend to be unnecessarily gory too, IMO. I saw one Hellraiser where these hooks shot into this woman's body and pulled all her skin off, but she was still alive and screaming. I could really do without that level of gore.

I often find Wes Craven's stuff too bloody, but I thought Red Eye was an excellent film. And it was nice to see Rachael McAddams in a role other than the bitchy teenager.

I also liked the first Saw movie. While that had some gory parts, I didn't feel that they were over-used. The writing was also pretty good, IMO. The only weak point I found in the movie was the acting. Cary Elwes is a good actor, but he seemed wooden in this movie. The second Saw movie...ehh. I refuse to even see the third one.

I also really liked the original Shining, and there are some other Stephen King movies that I liked alot (Pet Cemetary, for one. Though the surgical knife cutting into a man's Achilles' tendon made me cringe).

I also like some of the Hitchcock flicks. Rope was a really good one. Everyone knows Psycho (which I also liked). The Birds was rather boring, though. So there's another one I don't get - The Birds.

 

[ashaman7122]

My gift to you...if you can find it...the absolute shittiest movie of all time, which I happen to love...is:

Psychos In Love (a gory love story)...it just plain sucks...and it's one of my favorite movies of all time.

I'm curious to see how many of you degenerates have seen it?

Rock on!

 

[RiffDaemon]

Nope, my man, I'm afraid you're right. 300 was a total disappointment to me. A little testosterone gives those types of movies a little character, but 300 went way overboard, almost like they were trying too hard.....pardon the pun! Anyway, Gladiator is my all time favorite among these types of movies, period. Gladiator will never be beaten!

~Brian~

Well poo. Thanks for the warning, man ... and that awesome pun

 

[edgeofthorns]

Well poo. Thanks for the warning, man ... and that awesome pun

No problem. I just found it to be a bit on the silly side, but there's alot of people that dig it.

~Brian~

 

[rockyracoon]

What comedies do you like? I'm just curious... I've never seen you say something was funny.

I find most of what J-Dubs says to be pretty damn funny. As far as movies go:

Wedding Crashers, Swingers (and most of Vince Vaughn's catelog)
Caddyshack
Ghostbusters
Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman...


Sorry, but Steve Martin, Martin Short and Kevin Smith are all just fucking woeful.

 

[edgeofthorns]

I thought Red Eye was an excellent film. And it was nice to see Rachael McAddams in a role other than the bitchy teenager.

I also really liked the original Shining, and there are some other Stephen King movies that I liked alot (Pet Cemetary, for one. Though the surgical knife cutting into a man's Achilles' tendon made me cringe).

Red Eye was a pretty decent movie and I like alot of the Stephen King films too. I just recently watched Rose Red a few nights ago and it's pretty good...in a Velveta kind of way.

I agree with you, I'm not big on gore for the sake of gore. I get nothing out of those type of films. I'm more of a suspense/horror type of guy i.e. The Sixth Sense, What Lies Beneath, and The Others being three of my all time favorite movies.

~Brian~

 

[edgeofthorns]

Wedding Crashers, Swingers (and most of Vince Vaughn's catelog)

Vince Vaughn cannot be stopped! I think he's hilarious! I even enjoyed Starskey (spelling?) and Hutch. Owen Wilson is the freakin' man too! Watch "You, Me, and Dupree" if you haven't seen it yet.

~Brian~

 

[Yippee38]

I thought 300 wasn't anything special too. They spend the first 20 minutes of the movie trying to convince you that Spartan warriors are heartless, killing machines. Then they try to convince you in the last 20 minutes that King Leonidas did what he did only for love of his wife. What crap!

I'm also one of the few people who didn't care for Pulp Fiction. There were some good parts of the movie, but overall it didn't do anything for me.

 

[Kenso]

Donnie Darko

i just did not like that movie very much and ive seen it a few times but its one of all my friends top favs, and i just find it, well, not that good!


also to whoever said natural born killers, I AGREE!

 

[Ruthven]

Now zombies, they scare you because there is no escape, sure they are slow and what not and you may survive for a little while but in the end they win by numbers.

That is exactly it. Also, while many zombie movies have no point, the Romero ones actually have some pretty pointed satirical undertones.

I would actually NOT recommend the "Howling" sequels. The first one is good and the rest are wretched. I love werewolf (and vampire) movies, but the majority are crap. Another werewolf movie I really like is "Ginger Snaps" - though it has its gory moments for sure.

 

[Ruthven]

Wedding Crashers

mmmm...Isla Fisher....mmmm....:hotjump: