a: oooh, cool questions. i will answer them all together. it's a long story, but basically: i believe that power appeals to me on four levels.
the first, and the more innocuous, is aesthetical and concerns others: i like watching powerful people, because normally they're quite determined, which is good in my book, and also i automatically assume (even if i know that it's wrong) that they must be better than the rest or at least have toiled more if they are where they are - that's also why i prefer technocrats over politicians anytime, politicians are really nor smarter nor more hardworking than the rest of us. although they have cool suits at times.
the second way in which i feel the appeal of power concerns myself and is along the lines of "i should become someone in order to achieve my realization". the meaning of realization here is probably of the religious variety, in the sense of the "rightful expression of my potential/vocation". i believe that i'm quite gifted for some things. i also believe that i should put said gifts in service of the community. i know that i don't have the strength to do that without recognition, ie in some obscure NGO: i'm, after all, a big kid and i need fanfare and applause. so the world will need to give me power to buy my services.
the third type of appeal is spawned from scientific curiosity. the higher you are on the social ladder, the more of the world you see, and i can't die without having seen as much as possible. this was one of the core tenets of my motivations when in uni. now, writing this sentence again after some years, i realize that it's not exactly precise, but still the general idea holds.
the fourth and final reason for appeal is that i'm evil, obviously. i want to be in a position of power to show some people exactly why they should have taken me seriously from the start. unfortunately, religion (again! what is this, the mystical morning?) forbids me the use of violent retaliation, but there's subtler means that can be used once you're a higher-up.
q: your thoughts on the matter?
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