Some more 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, a man walking came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds.
He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb.
Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
The man figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing and came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, more attractive woman than before.
She says: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
The man saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On the next level of clouds, he finds a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She says, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Not satisfied that this is the best he can get, he continues climbing quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he finds a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered.
The man couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him.
He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 16 stone, 6' hairy biker looking guy with tattoos.
The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward the man .
Apprehensively, the man whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little kid was taking a walk with his father around the neighbourhood, when what should they come across in an empty lot but two dogs going at it furiously.
"Daddy," asked the little feller, tugging on his father's sleeve, "what are those dogs doing?"
"Well Billy," answered his father, "they're making puppies."
A week later, Billy gets thirsty in the middle of the night. He wanders into his parents bedroom, catching them in the act.
"Daddy," he asks plaintively, "what are you and mommy doing?"
"Well Billy," says his red-faced father, "we're making babies."
"Daddy, daddy," cries Billy, "roll her over - I'd rather have puppies!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...
"Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"?
The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7.
"Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice"!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, a man walking came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds.
He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb.
Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
The man figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing and came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, more attractive woman than before.
She says: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
The man saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On the next level of clouds, he finds a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She says, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Not satisfied that this is the best he can get, he continues climbing quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he finds a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered.
The man couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him.
He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 16 stone, 6' hairy biker looking guy with tattoos.
The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward the man .
Apprehensively, the man whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little kid was taking a walk with his father around the neighbourhood, when what should they come across in an empty lot but two dogs going at it furiously.
"Daddy," asked the little feller, tugging on his father's sleeve, "what are those dogs doing?"
"Well Billy," answered his father, "they're making puppies."
A week later, Billy gets thirsty in the middle of the night. He wanders into his parents bedroom, catching them in the act.
"Daddy," he asks plaintively, "what are you and mommy doing?"
"Well Billy," says his red-faced father, "we're making babies."
"Daddy, daddy," cries Billy, "roll her over - I'd rather have puppies!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...
"Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"?
The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7.
"Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice"!
